Congratulations, Zack.
I’ll start off by saying that TLC was pretty damn good. It wasn’t anything spectacular, but it continued the recent trend of WWE putting out surprisingly good pay-per-view shows. The internet’s buzzing and gloating thinking that WWE is ‘booking for them,’ leaving John Cena off of the card and putting belts on the independent stars of yesterday. Wrong. Sources say that the million-time world champion was backstage but was not used because they are saving him for Raw so his program with Kane can start/continue. They used the opportunity to focus on other stars and remind WWE fans that Primo is still with the company.
They say the opening match is the 2nd-most important match of the night, and Zack Ryder’s title hunt came to an end to excite a hot crowd. The ‘internet sensation’ captured his first singles title and celebrated with his father, who was sitting in the front row, covered in ‘Broski’ gear, and couldn’t have looked happier if he tried. It was truly a great moment, whether you like Ryder or not. His ‘story’ is a remarkable one.
Up next, Air Boom retained the tag team titles. This match sort of threw the night off for me. Granted, I am NOT a fan of Air Boom at all, but there was something ‘off’ about this match, regardless.
After some awkward PG racism/sexual references between a black Santa Clause and a midget dressed as an elf, Randy Orton took on Wade Barrett in a tables match. I admit, I don’t remember a single thing about this match. Why? Well for starters, Randy Orton hasn’t been memorable since… well, I can’t remember. He was probably the Intercontinental Champion or feuding with legends. Secondly, where are the TAG TEAM gimmick matches? I couldn’t help but think of 3 Minute Warning versus the Dudleys (& Matt Hardy, I think). I don’t particularly like tables matches but I think an elimination-style tag match of any sort has the potential to tell a great story. Instead, we get another Randy Orton match that ends predictably: creative RKO through a table.
After such a great opener, this show headed downhill fast. What was next? Beth Phoenix versus Kelly Kelly. Rock bottom. That’s not a Dwayne Johnson reference, by the way. Forgettable match for a now-forgettable angle. I had high hopes for it a while back but they dropped the ball. Beth retained her title, thankfully.
Triple H and Kevin Nash’s match was up next, and I’ll admit I was intrigued by this. However, can’t say I paid attention to it, because once I saw Kevin Nash’s s l o w walk to the ring, I had to fight the urge to fall asleep. The idea of him wrestling Triple H was just not that appealing to me, I realized. I would have liked to have seen him face CM Punk, but that didn’t happen. Watch it yourself, though, and form your own opinion. A lot of people don’t like Kevin Nash, but a lot of people also don’t have a clue what they’re talking about.
[Sidenote: John Cena's 5 moves of doom are actually 17 signature moves/finishers. Counting never was a strong suit of internet fans.]
Word is, however, that that was Kevin Nash’s retirement match, at least in his own eyes. If that is the case, I’d imagine he gave it 115%, and I will give it a try later. Triple H won and kayfabe-injured Nash to shelf him for at least six weeks (indefinitely).
Another match I can’t say I cared much about was the unannounced Sheamus vs Jack Swagger match. Who won? Who cares? Not I. Sheamus wins, but I can’t in good conscience give a damn about a Jack Thwagger match.
Big Show’s feud with Mark Henry came to an abrupt end after a crappy 5-minute ‘chair match.’ What the hell is a chair match? I ask that every year. Big Show wins, and gets taken out by Mark Henry. Your NEW WORLD CHA-
I would have preferred WrestleMania but I'm relieved that he actually won it.
Your NEW WORLD CHAMPION, Daniel Bryan. That’s right, in a completely shocking moment that no one expected or saw coming a mile away, Daniel Bryan cashed in his Money in the Bank title shot opportunity and ended Big Show’s title reign. Earlier in the night, Big Show claimed he’d win the belt and win his 9-year drought (that long? wow!). That drought was restarted after his two-minute-and-twelve-second reign ended. I was disappointed he didn’t turn heel on Bryan. He looked ‘uncomfortable,’ but barely agitated by the fact that he was robbed. He might as well have been John Cena, goofily shrugging off his 10th Rock Bottom (actually a Dwayne Johnson reference). We’ll see what happens on Raw, though.
Next up was Cody Rhodes versus Booker T. Enjoyable match, to be honest, and it was great to see Booker T in action again, putting over one of WWE’s hottest young heels. Cody Rhodes retains and is still on fire with his run as the [Classic] Intercontinental Champion.
I don’t have a whole lot to say about the main event other than that I am a fan of all three participants. It was a great match, and there were a few interesting spots. Punk was handcuffed to the turnbuckle at one point and he removed the turnbuckle with his bare hands, which was completely unrealistic, but I’m willing to let it slide, WWE. It was a solid match and all three should be commended, but Ricardo Rodriguez was the MVP of the night. Rodriguez took a Bubba Ray / Jeff Hardy bump (pushed off the top of a ladder from the ring, onto tables at ringside) and he’s only a ‘ring announcer!’ I mean, I realize he’s a wrestler, and a more-than-competent one, but considering he wasn’t even IN the match, he has my absolute respect for taking that bump. He did his part to contribute in trying to make that match better than it was, taking a big risk, even though he personally didn’t stand to gain anything from doing it. I think we’ll see the end of the Punk-Del Rio feud very soon, but it’s been great, to be honest, and Rodriguez has added a lot of great detail to it.
Overall, not an amazing event, but it had enough feel-good moments to rank it as above-average. I don’t think the lack of John Cena made the show any better or worse, either. It did create an opportunity for Primo to be on pay-per-view for once, but it still felt like there was a lot of ‘filler’ on the card. I guess that is to be expected when Big Show & Mark Henry’s match was so short. Word is that Mark Henry was injured during his match with John Cena on Raw, so they took the belt off of him. It makes sense for Big Show to be the last champion before Bryan, because he has claim to a rematch, and a new program is immediately set up. The short reigns take a giant dump on the title’s prestige, but business is business and all that really matters is having a plan in place for “next week’s show.”