The “Well, It’s Another THQ Wrestling Game” Disclaimer for WWE 13

I’ll preface this by saying I’ve been very critical of both WWE 12 and the Attitude Era in general, but I’m going into this with a glass-half-full approach. Every time we as consumers do this, though, we are let down. That being said, you’ve been warned. I could tell you this will be the greatest game ever made, just to get you to buy it through my affiliate link, but I won’t do that.

Instead, like any other game that hasn’t had a 100% solid track record, I’d suggest renting/redboxing WWE 13 FIRST before dropping $60 on it (hopefully you’ll come back here and use my link).

Also, at the time of writing, I do not OWN this game. Consider this a speculative preview, based on the information that is out there.

Stone Cold Steve Austin in WWE 13

WWE 13: Features

WWE Live.

Apparently, the crowd ‘dynamically reacts’ to the action in the ring. I’m surprised they didn’t do this years ago. A crowd popping for a finisher or kickout seems like a no-brainer. Yet, WWE games haven’t really had this. Until now.

WWE 13 will feature two commentary teams, as well, to provide an authentic Attitude Era environment. More on that later. Commentary has always been a rough spot in these games, but if I have the option to specify whether I hear Michael Cole’s voice or not, I’m happy.

Relive the WWE Attitude Era

For many, this is a major selling point. I don’t blame them. While it may not have been my favorite time period, there’s still a nostalgic attachment. After all, the best part about the roster reveals for these games–year after year–is their selection of WWE Legends. We’re using the term Legends a bit more loosely this year as we include X-Pac, The Godfather, and multiple incarnations of Triple H, but it’s certainly not something to complain about. Would you rather it take three hours to try to download a created Godfather from Community Creations?

“Attitude Era Mode” will let you relive actual story-lines you may remember having seen on TV. Sounds good to me. More after the jump.

WWE Universe 3.0

For WWE 12, We were promised full customization for 2.0, and they didn’t really deliver. You can’t add/remove shows, you can’t make Superstars a single brand show, and you were forced to have a Divas division. Perhaps this is a bit of nitpicking on my part, but I don’t think it’s asking a lot. The computer booking AI was terrible, there were no statistics, and there was no sense or feeling of one year being different from another. The perils of having arena designs based on specific events, I suppose.

This year, we’re promised the ability to ‘dynamically shape your schedules, television shows, and rosters.’ Frankly, I’m surprised that this is pretty much the only information available for this mode, given that it’s a major draw for the series. I think they’re banking on the Attitude Era mode selling the game, but I hope they didn’t slack on improving Universe. My expectations are low, however, and I’ll probably stick to GDS’s Total Extreme Wrestling 2010 (or 2013, when it comes out).

Predator Technology 2.0

Predator Technology: “We have this revolutionary new system that’s so revolutionary and everything’s revolutionary and revolutionary.”

Predator Technology 2.0: “Sorry for all the clipping last year. We’re back with more revolutionary revolutions and it’s revolutionary Predator Technology buzzword buzzword.”

Consumer: “That sounds awesome! I MUST OWN THIS!”

Consumer, post-purchase: “What the hell is with all these glitches?”

Create and share your WWE

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WWE 13: The Roster

Now for the good stuff. I’ll stop being snarky and get back to the facts. First thing’s first, here’s the normal roster for the game.

WWE 13 Superstar Roster

CM Punk hits the elbow on Chris Jericho in WWE 13.

Big Show
Booker T
Brock Lesnar
Brodus Clay
Chris Jericho
Christian
CM Punk
Cody Rhodes
Daniel Bryan
David Otunga
Dolph Ziggler
Edge
Heath Slater
Hunico
Jack Swagger
JBL
Jinder Mahal
John Cena
Justin Gabriel
Kane
Kofi Kingston
Primo
R-Truth
Randy Orton
Rey Mysterio
Santino Marella
Sheamus
Sin Cara
The Great Khali
The Miz
The Rock
Triple H
Undertaker
Wade Barrett
Zack Ryder

Looks pretty standard. Primo, but no Epico. Jinder Mahal, but no former tag champ Epico? Damien Sandow is announced as DLC. Not sure I like the idea of paying extra for a guy who should already be in the game, but I understand there are time constraints with new debuts in the ever-changing pro wrestling world, and translating it to the video game world. DLC has never been WWE Games’ strong point, though. They’re flat-out terrible at it. If Rock Band can put out like 2,000 songs that work with numerous PAST Rock Band games, I’d rather WWE Games didn’t try to reinvent the wheel (every year, by breaking spokes, usually) and instead find a way to have reverse-compatible DLC. I paid for Randy Savage. What do you MEAN I can’t use him in this game?

WWE 13 Diva Roster

Divas in this game include Eve, Beth Phoenix, Lita, The Bella Twins, Kharma, and Alicia Fox. AJ Lee is DLC. I never thought I’d say this, but where the hell is Kelly Kelly? The Bellas are part of the main roster? Layla is not? Natalya is not? Imagine the fun we could have had with “WWE Live: Dynamic Revolution Predator Farting Diva Technology 3.0.”

WWE 13 Attitude Era Roster

Animal
Big Bossman
Billy Gunn
Bradshaw
Bret Hart
British Bulldog
Cactus Jack
Chris Jericho
Christian
Dude Love
Eddie Guerrero
Edge
Faarooq
H H Hemlsley
Hawk
Kane
Ken Shamrock
Lita
Manking
Mark Henry
Mike Tyson
Mr McMahon
Paul Wight
Road Dogg
Shane McMahon
Shawn Michaels
Steph McMahon
Stone Cold
The Godfather
The Rock
Triple H
Trish Stratus
Undertaker
X-Pac
Vader

Not too shabby, I suppose. Though, it is kind of a cop-out when you have multiples of the same wrestler, taking up separate slots, rather than having alternate attires. The good thing about this, though, is their movesets may reflect their characters’ personality/style differences throughout the years.

Final thoughts on WWE 13

Rent it first. Seriously, be safe about it. The economy sucks and there are better things to spend your cash on. I’m not saying “don’t buy it,” but I strongly suggest a “try before you buy” method. But, if you insist, go ahead and pre-order it on Amazon:

What are your thoughts on the roster and features announced for WWE 13?

Let’s face it, everyone’s got an opinion of Jerry Lawler. For the most part, I think he’s a revered legend in the WWE realm, at least in average fan’s eyes.  However–and I’m going to try to avoid sounding snarky here, although it may be an impossible feat–the average fan doesn’t have a clue.

Now I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with cheering for the goodies and booing the baddies, but the average fan doesn’t recognize crap when they see it. Perhaps I’m jealous. The average fan doesn’t care about faces doing villainous things, and they don’t care about chain wrestling. They don’t care about John Cena main eventing at the ‘expense’ of CM Punk (that’s debatable and another argument entirely) because they are stuck in a rut and LOVE John Cena.

The average fan hates Michael Cole ONLY when he’s ‘beeing a heel,’ loves Jerry Lawler, loves Jim Ross, hates Johnny Ace, and loves Triple H unconditionally. I don’t consider myself better than these people and in many ways I envy them. I envy them for enjoying wrestling through pure eyes just like I did 15 years ago. I cheered for the good guys and booed the bad guys. There comes a time where you may learn more and begin to respect the people you grew up hating. This time came for me, but will it come for everyone? Maybe, maybe not. If it does, that’s fine. If it doesn’t, that’s fine too. But I do think that if you feel passionate about a topic you should learn and respect its history. And by history, I don’t mean whatever retrospective WWE DVD release came out that month. I mean tape/DVD trading, a staple of wrestling fandom for decades. If not that, there’s YouTube. There’s no excuse, with everything so accessible. Perhaps because everything is TOO accessible, the joy of getting that rare show in your hands is completely nonexistent.

Back on topic. Jerry Lawler as a performer and character is one of the most polarized examples in wrestling for me. I find myself dreading hearing his voice or mention, but put him in the ring and I’ve never been happier. Here’s why.

Jerry Lawler as an announcer

Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole

We’ll start with what everyone’s the most familiar with: Jerry Lawler’s days as an announcer. Currently, he’s 100% a babyface (good guy) persona, and Michael Cole is rather neutral. A heel play-by-play and face color commentator is a territory WWE has ventured into recently and I can’t say it worked at all. Before this, Jerry Lawler was paired with Jim Ross, with Jim Ross being a normal play-by-play guy and Jerry Lawler being a face color commentator. That really didn’t work either.

Many revere Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler for being the soundtrack of the beloved ‘Attitude Era.’ I do not. I think Jim Ross is one of the greatest announcers of all-time, but Jerry Lawler was always pretty terrible. There’s nothing  entertaining about a grown man shouting “PUPPIES!” at adult women half his age. It’s clear they were trying to market to the male, young-adult crowd, but and I was that demographic, but I still felt my intelligence was insulted on every week. As a result, I stuck to WCW, and had my intelligence insulted in other ways. What WAS good about Jerry Lawler as a heel, though, is he added ‘color’ to the broadcast. You know, like a color commentator is supposed to. He was a heel you could hate, because he was legitimately a piece of trash. We live in bizzaro-world, though, and pieces of trash get all the respect in the world.

Jerry Lawler as a promo man

Jerry Lawler used to be one of the top promo men in the business. I think he got bored–that’s the only explanation I have. TV. The truth is, the majority of the roster could learn a lot from Jerry Lawler on the microphone. He doesn’t have to be a heel, he just has to care. Lately, it seems like he’s been phoning it in, which is a shame, because he’s one of the greatest. See for yourself:

Bret Hart & Jerry Lawler Feud: Lawler Loud-Mouths Stu & Helen (Part 5)

ECW Jerry Lawler – Anti ECW Promo

Jerry Lawler promo: USWA vs GWF 9

Jerry Lawler promo for USA Championship wrestling

Eddie Gilbert & Jerry Lawler Promise Fireball Duel Tonight (3-28-88) Memphis Wrestling

Jerry Lawler as a wrestler

Jerry Lawler accentuated the basics in the ring.

Jerry Lawler is as old-school as it gets. That’s not a bad thing, that’s a good thing. Jerry Lawler’s style accentuated the basics and told a story. The truth is, the majority of the roster today could learn a LOT from working with Jerry Lawler on a regular basis. If he’s up to it, I’d say it’d be a very good thing for him to ‘compete’ more often. In a major storyline? Not necessarily. If you gave him a reason to care about what he’s cutting a promo about, though, it might be great. Jerry Lawler leading a stable and competing in tag matches–four man or six man–could quite possibly be the smartest option here. It would have made a hell of a lot more sense than having him wrestle a non-wrestler announcer at WrestleMania in a pretty dreadful match. Jerry Lawler’s most famous moments involved working with someone who wasn’t a wrestler, but that doesn’t mean it’s a plan that should be replicated. Michael Cole is no Andy Kaufman.

Some may say Jerry Lawler is overrated and only won what he won because he was a promoter. While there’s some weight to that argument, there’s a counter argument that everyone conveniently forgets: you can’t book a crowd to pop. You can’t book an arena to sell-out night after night. You can’t ‘decide’ to do good business just because you’re your own company’s champion. It happens. It happens based on the quality of content. If you’re the champion, and the seats are full, does it not say that you’re earning the right to book yourself that way?

I’m not an expert on Memphis wrestling. Honestly, I’ve barely seen any of it. Every second of it I’ve seen, though, has been some of the best wrestling footage I’ve ever seen. Why do I keep watching Raw instead of watching something I know is good? I don’t know. Like many, I’m a glutton for punishment. I can’t speak in great detail of Jerry Lawler’s ring work as I’m not an authority. If you want to learn more, I suggest checking out Scott Bowden’s “Kentucky Fried Rasslin’. He’ll tell you what I’m telling you, but with a lot more experience to back it up!

What are your thoughts on Jerry Lawler?

The Rock vs CM Punk?

CM Punk vs The Rock: Money, but not necessarily a safe, sure thing

Yesterday I mused that The Rock vs CM Punk might be a realistic possibility at WrestleMania 29. I’m not going back on that; I think it’s completely possible. However, there’s a difference between possible and likely. Money talks, and at the end of the day, the final result is what’s good for business. Scoff all you want, but WWE does know how to do good business. The Rock’s return to WrestleMania this year proved that. How do you make it break even THOSE records? How do you get people to buy the same match a second time? Easy. You up the ante.

Note: this post is partially inspired by John Canton’s article about Cena vs Rock II. Be sure to check that out.

The Rock + John Cena = $$$, an already-proven equation

It pains me to admit this, but I’d be a fool if I didn’t. CM Punk is still in the ‘building’ stages, and I think they have something else planned that may even be better. Who knows, other than Vince McMahon and possibly CM Punk. CM Punk is money, but John Cena is more money. CM Punk will have his chance, don’t worry. It just won’t be at WrestleMania 29. Just like anyone else, I hope I’m wrong by saying this, but I don’t think I am, and here’s why.

The Rock = Ratings?

Maybe, maybe not. One thing’s for sure, his Hollywood-caused-absences can be used to WWE’s advantage. The less Rocky you see, the more you want to see him. The more you either want him to be there, or begin to resent him. Hell, The Rock ‘not being there’ nearly turned me into a John Cena fan, if only for just that one event. It doesn’t matter if you like the Rock, hate the Rock, like John Cena, or hate John Cena. If you have an opinion in one way or another, you’re going to want to see this match. Unless, of course, you hate them both, which is something WWE needs to work hard to avoid. This time around, they need to make at least one of the two seem appealing. There’s a pretty easy way to do that.

The Rock must win the WWE Championship at the Royal Rumble

This is a tough one for me to suggest. In no way, shape, or form do I want to see a part-timer become the WWE Champion, and especially not over someone who busts his ass, like CM Punk does. However, in a sadly ironic way, this just might be a necessity. If the Rock takes the WWE Championship and goes back to Hollywood, your entire company has lost their top title. This could actually be a good thing. If your eventual plan is to put John Cena over, you keep the title away from WWE. You have The Rock flaunt it at media appearances, generating massive publicity for WWE from the mainstream, while building resentment from the WWE faithfuls for stealing the title away. It’s really a quite similar idea to CM Punk running off with the title last summer (even though he really didn’t) except it’d actually benefit the company a great deal.

Of course, if you go with this, The Rock becomes somewhat of a heel through resentment, without needing to actually turn. John Cena miraculously gets backed by the WWE crowd and goes over. One might think that this would set up a rubber match at WrestleMania 30, which might actually make sense. Every tie needs a tiebreaker, and The Rock vs John Cena–even if for a third time–would be the biggest match possible for the biggest WrestleMania event to date, aside from maybe CM Punk vs “Stone Cold” Steve Austin (which is a stretch).

Or… The Rock loses.

This is far less likely, unless The Rock loses through some sort of asinine interference. I really don’t see it happening, because you’re not going to have your blockbuster main event guy lose to begin the hype of his eventual WrestleMania match. Unless, of course, it’s his opponent who costs him the match. This of course would get The Rock out of the title picture with his eyes on a different prize, leaving CM Punk to feud with another opponent. Again, it’s entirely possible that they could build towards a CM Punk rematch against WWE Champion The Rock at WrestleMania 29, but it’s far more likely that they’ll take the safe route with a proven track record (of breaking sales records).

I’m not the biggest Rock fan at all and was a bit disappointed that he went over at WrestleMania 28, but the clear plan (in order for that to make sense) would be to work towards John Cena going over in a rematch.

What do you think the plan is for The Rock in WWE heading towards the Royal Rumble and WrestleMania?

CM Punk may or may not be the best in the world. That’s up for debate, sure, but at the end of the day, it hardly matters. What does matter is that CM Punk is on his way to becoming a mega-star.

If he’s not already achieved that status.

CM Punk in WWE 13

Every young wrestler’s dream or fantasy is to ‘make it’ to the ‘big league’ of WWE. Fame and fortune. Not everyone gets there, but once a wrestler makes it to that point, their dreams evolve. Maybe they want to have a match at WrestleMania. Maybe they want to be WWE Champion. Maybe they want to be in a video game. CM Punk has done all of this, numerous times. Now, he’s had the fortune of becoming the sole focus of the COVER of WWE’s latest video game: WWE ’13. This game will be purchased by millions, across multiple platforms, and WWE has chosen CM Punk to be the main focus. On a game that is all about ‘the Attitude Era,’ a ‘current guy’ is on the cover, because he represents tradition and history. The point here is to make CM Punk appeal to the ‘attitude’ fans, which was the plan from day one, and it is working.

WWE 13 will be released on Xbox 360, Playstation 3, and Nintendo Wii.

CM Punk – The Best on DVD & Blu-Ray

Another dream a wrestler might have is to have a DVD set made dedicated to their career. CM Punk isn’t anywhere near finished with his career and he’s already got a DVD set coming out. (Also available on Blu-Ray) It’s no ordinary DVD set, either. CM Punk had full control over every aspect of the DVD, from the footage used to the music selected. Punk set a precedent by convincing WWE to allow him to use music from bands HE wanted, rather than stock music or Jim Johnston standards.

In addition to the music, footage from independent promotions will be used for this CM Punk DVD set, potentially making this the best “WWE Home Video” release ever. WWE giving other companies attention is unheard of, especially since Ring of Honor has a TV deal and isn’t really struggling. It was enough of a shock to hear CM Punk mention New Japan Pro Wrestling and Ring of Honor in his ‘pipe bomb’ promo, but to see Ring of Honor make an appearance on a WWE DVD is mind-boggling, in a very good way. Check out the trailer for the DVD set:

CM Punk didn’t turn–he sidestepped

On the 1000th episode of WWE Raw, the WWE Universe was shocked by CM Punk once more as he took out The Rock, standing tall to close the show. Amidst a time where his primary fanbase (teh internets, lolz) has either turned on him or is whining that he’s being ‘buried,’ CM Punk was put over on the most important episode of WWE Raw to date. This happened on international TV on a highly publicized episode. Why? Because WWE is 100% behind CM Punk. They wanted eyes to be on him when he did this. This is one of the reasons a lot of ‘important’ stuff happens on TV–more people will see it.

Everyone initially thought it was a heel turn, but it wasn’t. It was an extension of his semi-babyface persona and a revisiting of 2011 CM Punk, standing up to take what he deserves: the spotlight. CM Punk isn’t a heel, and he might not even be a babyface. He’s just himself–CM Punk. This rejuvenation of his character’s direction tells us that he’s holding on to the WWE Championship for a bit longer. I have no doubt in my mind: he’ll be defending it at the Royal Rumble in 2013 against The Rock. The question is: will he win?

I am starting to think that he will, believe it or not. The ‘news’ sites claim that Triple H likes long title reigns. How long is long? The longer they keep the belt on CM Punk, the longer they get a champion who puts on 4 star title matches (on a BAD day), a champion who can actually get the crowd to react. Now, I’m not a fool, and I’m happy to give John Cena his due. He can get a reaction; there’s no denying this. But I think the reason they are so behind CM Punk is that they’ve already banked on John Cena for so long, often at the expense of others. The difference between CM Punk and John Cena is that a CM Punk usually gets elevated when he loses. John Cena is talented, but I don’t quite think he has ever really had the ability to make someone into a star while still beating them.

CM Punk at WrestleMania

I’m honestly hoping that WWE will give CM Punk a chance to truly become a mega-star by challenging The Rock at WrestleMania rather than John Cena. We saw the latter happen already at WrestleMania 28, and I’m not so sure we need to see it again. Sure, it’d make sense in a storyline; John Cena wants to beat the Rock. Then they’re tied and have to face off again. Frankly, their match wasn’t that great. I’d like to see someone else get that chance, and CM Punk is easily the most likely right now. If it were up to me, I might have CM Punk hold the WWE Championship going into the Royal Rumble. If he retains, fine. The Rock then says, “but can you beat the Rock at WrestleMania?” If Punk loses at the Rumble, that’s fine too. CM Punk is entitled to a rematch, naturally. The Rock won’t wrestle again until WrestleMania, however, so it works. The real interesting thing is whether WWE holds Elimination Chamber or not. If the Rock is WWE Champion, there’s no way he’s defending it there. So either CM Punk retains at the Rumble, or there’s a #1 Contender Elimination Chamber match. This is why gimmick match PPVs are horrible for booking, especially right before WrestleMania.

Either way, it’s an exciting time for wrestling fans. Dolph Ziggler is on the rise, CM Punk is on top, and Daniel Bryan might be one of the most popular wrestlers on the roster.

What do you think the future holds for WWE and CM Punk?

Last week I talked about Five Possibilities in Part 1 of my list of ‘Ten Ideal Brock Lesnar Opponents.’ This week, I’ve got the second half, with five long-shots. Possible? Of course. Nothing in WWE is ever out of the realm of possibility, though I don’t see these being likely. A few might have true potential to be not only watchable but downright entertaining.

First off, let me say that I’m tempted to put the The Rock on this list. Sure, he’s the eventual blockbuster name to face Brock Lesnar, but do we really picture The Rock getting physical with Lesnar? I mean…. Extreme Rules physical? For that reason, I’m hesitant to even put this first choice on this list:

Brock Lesnar vs Randy Orton

Let’s face it: when it comes down to it, Randy Orton isn’t a brawler. He gives off that pretty-boy vibe and doesn’t strike me as someone who’d get his hands dirty. Then again, it’s been a while, and I’m referring to the 2012 Orton. 2004 Orton was a different story, as he took Mick Foley to the limit. However, didn’t Foley take the majority of the punishment in their feud? Oops, I’m mistaken. Check this one out:

That’s from WWE Backlash 2004. I’m not saying wrestling needs blood and thumbtacks…in fact I’m pretty much against it. While you’re at it, check out T Holzerman’s recent article that pretty much offers the same sentiments; I’m glad I’m not the only one to realize this. However, it’s easy to see that in order to work with the 2012 Brock Lesnar ‘character,’ there’s a minimum level of physicality expected that we haven’t seen in years. Randy Orton desperately needs a reboot and this could be a great opportunity. More after the jump.

Brock Lesnar vs Kane

A feud with Brock Lesnar could give Kane a much-needed reboot.

When’s the last time anyone truly cared about Kane? Well, in 2010-2011 he won Smackdown’s Money in the Bank ladder match and cashed in to become a World Champion. That was exciting for about five minutes because he deserved it. Once he had the title, though, you realized–and maybe it’s just me–that there’s a reason he wasn’t usually around the title scene. 2012 rolled around, and Kane was back with his mask. That was exciting, too, but got stale extremely fast. Ironically, he’s been placed in fairly high-profile feuds to help elevate (I guess?) Zack Ryder and prepare John Cena for WWE WrestleMania 28. He’s recently feuded with Randy Orton, and it’s been a whole-lotta-boring. If you like it, great, but I haven’t been able to get into it. I’m looking for a reason to love Kane and a brawl with Brock Lesnar could be the answer.

Kane’s a comic-book-wrestling persona, and Brock Lesnar is a ‘legitimate’ force to be reckoned with. Lately WWE’s been trying to make its fans become impressed with its more “overrated” names by thrusting them into a completely different scenario. We saw it work with Cena, and we even saw it with Sheamus at the end of the 2012 Royal Rumble, and the arguably-four-star two-out-of-three-falls match with Daniel Bryan at Extreme Rules. I mean, we saw the Big Show do a top rope dropkick. They’re all trying to give us something completely different, whether you realize it or not. Kane versus Lesnar would potentially show people a brand new side of Kane. Note: I have all the respect in the world for Kane. It’s got to be tough being such a ‘company man’ while knowing you’re stuck in the #2 spot behind your storyline ‘brother.’ Kane deserves plenty of respect in his own right; I just don’t care for that type of character/wrestling personality/gimmick.

Brock Lesnar vs The Undertaker

Brock Lesnar challenging The Undertaker for ‘the streak’ is about as legitimate as pro-wrestling gets. But unlikely.

Speaking of Kane, there’s The Undertaker, which is the obvious ‘other’ blockbuster option. Who is more brutal and ‘legitimate’ (despite the hokey persona) than the Undertaker? I won’t touch on this one that much because it’s an obvious choice and probably should be on the ‘possible’ list, but given Undertaker’s physical condition, I can’t see him facing Brock Lesnar, and I also do NOT see them having Brock Lesnar end the streak, either. Brock Lesnar doesn’t have a problem with losing, and has made it clear, so a lot of that semi-legitimate-intrigue is gone from the equation. Although, there were rumors of legitimate heat between the two, so who knows. Then again, that may be dirtsheet nonsense, too. Who knows?

Brock Lesnar vs Mr McMahon

Ten years ago, a Brock Lesnar vs Mr McMahon feud would have been pretty interesting. Now? Sad. Technically possible, though.

One who WOULD know is Mr McMahon himself. If I recall correctly, this match has never happened*, and would be quite a spectacle in a gruesome train wreck sort of way. However, this only would have made sense in 2002-2003, and ten years later, McMahon isn’t in any state to endure that type of punishment. Even if he is, it wouldn’t make sense from a storyline perspective, as he’s been absent for months. If he comes back on a ‘save my company’ crusade, it’s possible, but not likely. Ten years ago, it would have been great.

*I’m not too well-educated on 2003-2005 WWE, period. I had no idea that McMahon vs Brock Lesnar DID happen.

Brock Lesnar vs CM Punk

Current WWE Champion CM Punk will eventually lose…but when? Not against Brock Lesnar.

I just don’t see it happening. I nearly put Daniel Bryan on this list despite also being on the ‘possibilities’ list, but I think this is just as unlikely. I’m not complaining, either. CM Punk has been treated pretty well in recent months despite all of the whining on Twitter and the rest of the internet.

Has he lost a lot? Sure. You know it’s ‘fake,’ right? The losses don’t matter. Especially when it’s a loss after 3 people interfering, or it’s non-title. CM Punk has been getting clean pinfall victories when it counts: on pay-per-view, and every time he does it, it not only elevates himself, but his opponent, too. This is why CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and Chris Jericho are the best in the game right now.

Brock Lesnar brings an interesting dynamic with the MMA influence, and CM Punk’s a striker, but I still don’t see it happening. Maybe it’s the mark in me that doesn’t want to see CM Punk lose, hypocritically, but it’s just not a match that makes sense to me. Time will tell, too, if CM Punk still has the belt when Survivor Series 2012 or the 2013 Royal Rumble rolls around. I see Daniel Bryan as WWE Champion at SummerSlam 2012, retaining in a rematch, and losing to Lesnar at Survivor Series.

Who would YOU like to see Brock Lesnar face?

Brock Lesnar’s return to WWE is a big deal, but who will he face?

Let’s face it: Whenever a big return happens, it’s a fantasy-booker’s dream. We all have an idea of how we could ‘do it better,’ and what happens on the screen isn’t always what we imagined in advance, for better or worse. When Brock Lesnar made his impactful re-debut in WWE, the wheels started turning in everyone’s minds.

Here are some hopeful (and completely possible) opponents for Brock Lesnar to plow through as he works through his $5 million deal.

Brock Lesnar vs The Rock

We’ll start with the painfully obvious. These two have a history, and if done carefully, Brock Lesnar vs The Rock can (and probably will) be the big-money-match for WrestleMania 29. The Miami Raw after ‘Mania told us two things: The Rock wants the WWE Championship one more time, and Brock Lesnar is back, and pissed at the world. My prediction was that Brock Lesnar would snag a title shot versus CM Punk at SummerSlam, and hold the belt straight through to WrestleMania, and drop it to the Royal Rumble winner, The Rock. It looks like they’re really behind ‘those internet guys,’ so my prediction’s a bit off, but I still think we’ll see Rock versus Brock Lesnar at Mania. More after the jump.

Brock Lesnar vs Sheamus

Sheamus is quickly becoming the Irish John Cena, starting with his 18-second win over Daniel Bryan at WrestleMania, and continuing with his squeaky-clean babyface run as champion, against a red-hot heel, Daniel Bryan, who, ironically, is even more of a fan-favorite. That aside, they’re still desperate to push “The Great White” to the moon, and I can’t say I blame them. He’s talented. Not only can he pull off decent technical matches, but he fills that roughneck void that guys like “Stone Cold” Steve Austin & JBL left. Sounds like a good match for Brock Lesnar, right?

If they want to get the fans to turn back to Sheamus, why not feed him to Brock Lesnar? Brock Lesnar’s merciless beating of John Cena at Extreme Rules 2012 was reminiscent of Tommy Dreamer’s “Thank You Sir, May I Have Another” moment, and it won a LOT of people over. It’s a bit silly to say that people need to see a wrestler beaten up ‘for real’ in order to respect them, but in this warped day and age, it might be necessary.

Brock Lesnar vs Daniel Bryan

While we’re on the topic, we might as well throw Daniel Bryan’s name into the hat. If he beats CM Punk at Over the Limit, he just might be the guy that drops it to Brock Lesnar, at Survivor Series or the Royal Rumble. I know the size difference is ridiculous, and it’d be about as believable as Dean Malenko vs Hulk Hogan or Goldberg. However, the fans are behind Daniel Bryan, and if they want to have a face-turn-through-brutal-sympathy, he’d be the guy. Daniel Bryan is that underdog type, who’d have the snot beat out of him puro-style and come back asking for more. Benoit’s gone, and Kurt Angle’s in wrestling-legacy-limbo, but Daniel Bryan vs Brock Lesnar just might work, reviving the classics of Brock Lesnar’s first run. Hard-hitting, furious technical supremacy. And Daniel Bryan’s not afraid to get his hands dirty, either.

Brock Lesnar vs Lord Tensai

If there happens to be some sort of kayfabe communication breakdown in Team Johnny [Ace], or they give up on Lord Tensai’s gimmick, I could see this happening. It won’t be anything mind-blowing due to the WWE environment, but it would technically have potential, given their past and their experience in hard-hitting combat-sport environments. Brock Lesnar faced Lord Tensai (then billed as “Giant Bernard”) in New Japan Pro Wrestling (2006) and in WWE (2003? Then billed as “Albert”). Brock Lesnar and Albert were also teammates at Survivor Series 2003. No one will care or remember that except ‘us nerds,’ so I doubt they’d build a feud referencing that, but they could just as easily play off of their Japan backgrounds and have a freight-train collision of a ‘hoss fight.’ This would only happen if they pull the plug on the Lord Tensai gimmick and run with a babyface turn to feud with a monster-heel Brock Lesnar.

Brock Lesnar vs Dolph Ziggler

I know, this is hardly fair. These two will cross paths, I’m sure. Dolph Ziggler’s a heel, but he’s a ‘cool heel,’ and Brock Lesnar is a monstrous ‘super heel.’ If they have a match, Dolph Ziggler will get destroyed, but I guarantee that Dolph Ziggler’s selling is what you will remember from that match. He makes every single one of his opponents look like a million bucks (even Brodus Clay) and is not only a guaranteed future world champion, but I’d even go as far as saying he’s a future Hall of Famer. He’s not the next Shawn Michaels–screw that. He’s the current Dolph Ziggler. And while everyone will whine about him ‘getting buried,’ you can’t deny that seeing him take an F-5 from Brock Lesnar would be extremely entertaining and memorable.

Honorable mention: Brock Lesnar vs The Miz

This one will probably happen, if they decide to turn The Miz face. I’ll not explain my idea for this because it’d be lifted/inspired from T Holzerman’s blog, so check it out for yourself. I think it’d be perfect for both.

There we have it, my top five ‘possible’ opponents for Brock Lesnar. Stay tuned for five complete long shots that COULD happen, but let’s face it; they won’t!

Who do YOU think Brock Lesnar should face in WWE?

Everyone that doesn’t live in North Carolina was pretty excited to see Paul Heyman come back to WWE on Monday. Hold your horses, though. Many fans love Heyman as an on-screen managerial-mouthpiece, but a lot of fans respect him for his ‘creative’ side behind the scenes. I hate to break it to you all, but Heyman is back ONLY as an on-screen persona. He is not involved with creative decisions or writing. I’m hoping that will change, but for now, it doesn’t seem to be the case.

Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar?

Brock Lesnar signed for a limited quantity of dates across 2012-2013, so Heyman was finally decided to be a good option as someone they can use to continue Lesnar’s storylines on dates where Lesnar isn’t booked. It’s genius, really. You pay $5 million to Lesnar for limited dates, but in a way, you still get him to be ‘represented’ on every single show, via Paul Heyman.

Paul Heyman and CM Punk?

While CM Punk is a ‘Paul Heyman Guy,’ it appears Paul Heyman is a ‘CM Punk Guy,’ according to PWinsider: “While one of the reasons Heyman has returned is to work with close friend Lesnar, word is that he also returned to potentially work with CM Punk down the line. Heyman has much respect for Punk and will work with him on the upcoming Punk DVD release.” Cheap plug: order saidDVD or Blu-Ray and help me out, eh?

Given that the working relationship is strong, MAYBE we’ll see him write again, but unless he is given free-range, don’t hold your breath. I’m content with him being an on-screen figure since he can talk his ass off. As long as they don’t try to revive ECW again, we’re fine and [El] dandy.

What’s your favorite Paul Heyman memory?

It’s that time of year, again, kids. Backlash!

Oh, wait, no. That’s right; Backlash is gone and the dying remnants of ECW are thrown at us in the form of a monthly gimmick pay-per-view. WWE Extreme Rules 2012. I hate to get all negative right off the bat, but you know it’s true. Gimmicks for the sake of having a gimmick don’t make much sense to me. However, somehow, the booking for this year’s Extreme Rules event WORKS for nearly all of the gimmick matches involved.

WWE Extreme Rules 2012: Brock Lesnar vs John Cena

First up, we’ve got Brock Lesnar returning for his first wrestling match in around seven years. …At Extreme Rules 2012. Odd, no? Don’t worry, he’ll be sticking around for a bit. A month after The Rock makes his big return to WrestleMania, Brock Lesnar’s back in the ring, too. (Speaking of which, I never wrote a WrestleMania article, and probably won’t. The whole show was forgettable. If you want me to complain about it, tell me to, and I’ll write up an article just for you.) Not only his match at Extreme Rules 2012 a return match, but Brock Lesnar’s hot off the trails of UFC.

So how does a ‘real’ fighter transition back to ‘fake fighting?’ Well, you make your return and pop the face of the company in the mouth, busting his lip open. Whether this was intentional or accidental isn’t the point. The point is that something that LOOKED real happened. In a worked-shoot sort of way, Brock Lesnar just may be correct in his claims of bringing ‘legitimacy’ back to WWE. So, his match with John Cena will be an ‘Extreme Rules’ match. I expect this to be brutal in a good way, but I do hope they don’t go too overboard. The hardcore gimmick will allow this match to be a brawl rather than a wrestling match, which will fit nicely for Lesnar, given his evolved ‘fighting’ background. My pick: Brock Lesnar wins.

Additional note: I still can’t believe he’s back. I knew it’d eventually happen, but he just seems so out of place. The Rock fit in really well, with his slick hashtags and phony, corporate marketing techniques, but Brock Lesnar is, was, and always will be Brock Lesnar. He’s not polished, he’s not HD, he’s not here to trend. He’s here to be a war machine.

WWE Extreme Rules 2012: Chris Jericho vs CM Punk – WWE Championship

Next up, we’ve got Chris Jericho challenging CM Punk for the WWE Title in a Chicago Street Fight at Extreme Rules 2012. There’s a whole lot wrong with this feud, and I could write an entire article about it. Everything’s right, and it’s great, but the fact that they went the ‘alcoholic father’ route so EARLY in the feud frustrates me. WrestleMania should have been about wrestling, and the low-blow escalation should have been a last-ditch effort for Jericho to get ONE MORE SHOT at the gold. Either way, it’s still good TV, and good wrestling. Now, the two best WRESTLERS collide in a street fight, which should be very interesting. These two are not only two of the most technically-proficient wrestlers, but two of the best minds among active wrestlers today, so even if brawling isn’t their forte, we’ll still see them pull off something extremely memorable. My pick: CM Punk wins at Extreme Rules 2012, and will keep winning until facing Brock Lesnar at SummerSlam 2012.

WWE Extreme Rules 2012: Daniel Bryan vs Sheamus – World Heavyweight Championship

That takes care of Raw’s title scene. On the Smackdown end of things, Daniel Bryan gets his rematch after the most rewarding loss in WWE history. When he lost the title after a mere 18 seconds, I admit I was pretty pissed, as were most of the fans in attendance. However, I realized it’d probably mean the second match (hi there, rematch clause) would not only be lengthy, but would probably steal the show. Daniel Bryan benefited more from losing the title than Sheamus did by winning it. Sure enough, we’ve got a 2/3 falls match at Extreme Rules 2012. Bryan will be determined to win by submission, and it will cost him the match. It’ll be brutal, fast, and furious, and lengthy. If they do a DOUBLE flash fall, it’ll be aggravating, but who knows: it may put Bryan over even more! My pick: Sheamus, and I’m completely fine with that. Bryan is OVER.

WWE Extreme Rules 2012: Beth Phoenix vs Generic Brunette #1 (or 2?) – Divas Championship

Beth Phoenix, putting the ‘hot’ in image hot-linking.

And now for something completely different: The Divas title. Beth Phoenix has gotten this site quite a bit of traffic due to a high-res image people like to hotlink to and steal my bandwidth. So for that… to those people: thank you, and you’re welcome. For some reason, Nikki Bella has the belt. I assure you, no one cares. Everyone’s saying Beth Phoenix vs Kharma is the ‘money match’ they’re holding out on. Let’s face it, there is not a SINGLE MONEY MATCH involving women’s wrestlers (celebrities aside) unless they book them better. Beth Phoenix isn’t going to draw a dime because you booked her like a joke as a champion. I mean didn’t Lita/Trish main event Raw ‘back in the day?’ Give them the ball! To call that a money match is impossible when you haven’t backed them at all. My pick: Who cares? Give me a reason to care, I’m begging you.

WWE Extreme Rules 2012: The Miz vs Santino Marella – Intercontinental Championship

A lot of people are absolutely WHINING about The Miz vs Santino Marella being dropped down to pre-show status. Those people would be complete idiots. The reason these two have a match on the live YouTube stream of the pre-show is a COMPLIMENT. They were selected because they’ll draw traffic. Traffic = AD REVENUE for the WWE YouTube account. They’re putting effort into the pre-show for once because they actually want EYES on it. Why? Because even if people don’t buy the pay-per-view as a result of it, they’ll be viewing advertisements. If this is successful, expect to see a decent match-up on every pre-show. Hell, you’ll eventually be more likely to see an (unannounced) lesser-drawing match (Primo & Not-Carlito) on the actual pay-per-view, because people will have already paid to see the event. Be glad that these guys get a spot that puts them under a completely unique spotlight. My pick: Santino Marella. He excites the crowd regularly, so I see no reason for him to drop the belt. However, he may not need it. The Miz might!

WWE Extreme Rules 2012: Other Nonsense

Beth Phoenix, thanks for the traffic.

Other matches I really have nothing to say about are Cody Rhodes & Big Show battling over the Intercontinental Title. Big Show wins. A lot of people despise the Big Show, and I can’t say I’m entertained every single time, but I still say he’s one of the best true ‘giants’ of all-time. Watch this match. Orton vs Kane in another WrestleMania rematch. Orton will win, and I couldn’t possibly care any less than I do right now.

For the most part I’m pretty interested in seeing this show. There’s some filler and some glaring omissions, but the big matches seem big enough to more than competently sell the show.

Note from the future: This turned out to be the 2nd best card of the year (just a hair under SummerSlam) so be sure to pick it up on DVD.

What were your thoughts on WWE Extreme Rules 2012?

Flashback: WWE No Mercy 2005 featuring Eddie Guerrero’s final PPV appearance

Thinking of killing some time while waiting for some video editing work to finish processing, I popped in a random WWE DVD. I can’t recall having seen this one before as I wasn’t following wrestling from 2003-2005 and just hadn’t gotten around to watching the actual DVD, even years later.

A very eery intro to an Eddie Guerrero-headlined event

The show starts off with a now-chilling introduction video package featuring two feuds: Eddie Guerrero vs Batista & Undertaker vs Randy Orton. Eddie Guerrero. Now, before I get into this, let me say that the one 2005 pay-per-view I have watched (other thanWrestleMania 21 & Royal Rumble 2005, of course) was ECW One Night Stand 2005. I always thought that Eddie Guerrero had a bit of a ‘vacant’ look about him, like he wasn’t himself and never would be again. Hindsight’s 20/20, and perhaps it was just the character he was trying to play. A few months later, though, this same look was present in this video package that turned out to serve as hype for what would be his final pay-per-view match. Coincidentally, this event was on Eddie Guerrero’s birthday.

In this video, a promo was referenced where Eddie Guerrero talked about his addictions and problems, which was probably as off-putting then as the Kevin Nash/Scott Hall match at Halloween Havoc was in 1998. Now, it’s even more uncomfortable to see. Shortly after this, the hype for the Undertaker/Randy Orton angle begins. Their match for this event was a casket match. Now WWE had no idea they’d be losing an active member of their roster within less than a month, and even if they did, I can’t say I’d expect them to not still hold a casket match. Afterall, they held THREE in 2008, less than a year after the Benoit Family died.

Anywho… Wrestling. Where was I?

WWE No Mercy 2005: The Undercard

The first match is a 6-person match between Legion of Doom & MNM. It’s ironic that I enjoyed this match because I turned off TNA Impact earlier in the night because I couldn’t take Christy Hemme’s annoying, terrible ring announcing work. I’d like to add, too, that I’ve always liked MNM, even if I’ve strayed far away from the proverbial John Morrison & Melina fan club in the past year or so. They were a great team in a time when WWE appeared to have a good tag division. Also, I don’t have a problem with Heidenreich calling himself a member of L.O.D., but he should have ditched that stupid, robotic arm gesture. Hemme gets the pinfall after heading to the top for a Doomsday Device in this completely solid opener. Road Warrior Animal will always get a pop.

Up next is Bobby Lashley’s pay-per-view debut against Simon Dean. See, this is what was great about the brand split being enforced. You aren’t overrun with title matches and you get to see some pretty useless matches. Wait, that’s a good thing? Yup. Just like squash matches are good on TV, PPV matches for comedic value help break up the monotony and prevent the viewer from getting too burnt out. The freakishly strong Lashley gets the win, as Rick “Sign Guy” Achberger shows various signs in the front row: “Can someone lend Simon a Hand,” and “Simon, Do 10 Sets of Pushups!” I think I saw another that said “Bobby Lashley is BIG.”

Up next is a fatal-four-way match for the United States title. Sharmell comes out to give the introduction for Houston’s own Booker T. Booker is joined by Christian & Orlando Jordan in challenging Chris Benoit for his title. Great match that could have been a solid main event title match without changing a single thing other than the title up for grabs. They made it a point to make Booker & Benoit’s eventual confrontation within the match a big deal, and even the announcers commented on their history in WCW, which I thought was a great touch. The Best of 7 series between Booker T & Chris Benoit was one of the reasons I got hooked on wrestling as a kid in the first place. Benoit wins and Sharmell & Booker T tease a heel turn, likely setting up the path for the eventual ‘King Booker’ gimmick.

Another pay-per-view debut is up next as Mr Kennedy takes on Bob ‘Hardcore’ Holly. This is another match you wouldn’t expect people to pay for but it’s a nice buffer after an intense, show-stealing United States Championship match. Pretty good match that had a lot of questionable moments. At one point, Holly picked up Kennedy and dropped him, and I’m not sure if it was due to frustration of Kennedy not doing something correctly, or if it was just a drop that was part of the match. After Kennedy hit a Green Bay Plunge from the 2nd rope for the pinfall, Holly sold a rib injury. I really couldn’t tell if it was legitimate or not, even after viewing the match a second time. The Green Bay Plunge looks like it’d hurt pretty badly if screwed up, but it looked like Kennedy pulled it off just fine. This was a surprisingly decent match that broke in a green Mr Kennedy.

…Kennedy.

I spoke too soon–Sylvain Grenier jumped Holly after the match, so the injury was a work. If you didn’t want Sylvain on your screen, you’d be relieved to see Simon Dean once again as he works on a platter of hamburgers throughout the night. If you’re sick of him already, like I was, don’t worry. Mr Kennedy’s back for another segment already. That’s right, three of the most boring and/or obnoxious members of the roster all within 5 minutes of each other. And what’s next? Jillian Hall.

It’s unreal how over Rey Mysterio is, was, and probably always will be, despite playing a face for basically his entire career. (WCW doesn’t count, because did anyone really care about Rey after he lost his mask? Did anyone even know who was a heel around then in WCW? It changed weekly. Sounds familar…) This was an excellent match from two always-solid performers who will undoubtedly have a place in the WWE Hall of Fame one day. Rey Mysterio can have a four-star match with virtually anyone, and John Layfield’s performances as both Bradshaw and his reinvention as JBL are each Hall of Fame worthy separately! Wrestlers get inducted, though, not gimmicks, so he’ll only go in once. Just saying, though, he had a great career. He’s always reminded me of Stan Hansen, who should realistically go in before him, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Hansen didn’t go in at all.

Anyway, the modern Stan Hansen wins with the Lariat from Hell. Up next is the Casket Match between Undertaker and Randy Orton. …And Bob Orton. Who would pay to see this? Well, I guess it has its old-school appeal to it. I will admit that it appears they did a great job building towards it, using mannequins (or look-alikes?) in caskets as part of the back-and-forth ‘mind games.’

The actual match was exactly what you might expect: a brawl-based gimmick match that the ‘dainty’ Randy Orton didn’t quite ‘fit’ in. Bob Orton, in his street clothes, actually did a pretty good job with the basics, like elbows, back bumps, and helping set the Undertaker up for a slow comeback to wake up the otherwise dead crowd. From a wrestling standpoint, this match was terrible, but from a storytelling standpoint, it was completely effective. I’d imagine this sold pay-per-view buys just as much (if not more) than Batista vs Eddie Guerrero did, so I’d call it a success (taking the entire storyline into consideration). The spot of the match might have been the superplex on Undertaker from the Ortons. Bob Orton played up the old-school mentality by going for a pinfall, not understanding these ‘new-fangled gimmick matches. The Ortons got the win in a match that was longer than it needed to be, but given that it was a main event match, the people who paid to see it got what they paid for.

Naturally, the fun wasn’t over, as the casket was pushed up the ramp and onto a trapdoor so it could be doused with ‘gasoline’ and lit in fire. Cole and Taz sell the gas fumes and cough while the kid in the audience directly behind them looks perfectly fine, and waves his arms at the camera. Why write such ridiculous horse shit that you can’t truly back up? Only the dumbest people in the audience could believe that the Undertaker was actually set on fire.

Up next is a demonstration of World Wrestling Entertainment’s pride and joy: racial stereotyping. The Mexicools (Juventud Guerrera, Psicosis, & Super Crazy) come out on their ride-on lawnmowers as Juventud challenges Nunzio for the Crusierweight Championship. Nunzio, of course, of the F.B.I., the Full-Blooded Italians. Nothing to report here other than the obvious. The Cruiserweight Championship matches stole the show nearly every time they were on pay-per-view, yet they felt the need to phase it out. They really need to bring it back, especially if Sin Cara sticks around. He’s the key to popularizing the division again, just like Rey Mysterio had done. Juvi wins the title here in a great match, and cuts a promo in Spanish afterwards. Love it. Meanwhile, Simon Dean is working on his last burger, and I’m sure everyone viewing at home truly gave a shit.

It’s main event time, meaning the Cruiserweight Title was a buffer match comparable to the Women’s or Divas’ title in recent years. The match was solid, as one might expect. I know it was always a popular thing in the internet circles to claim that so-and-so ‘carried’ their opponent, but let’s face it: that’s just sour grapes and the reluctance to give someone credit when they finally have a good match with someone. Can working with someone uber-talented improve the match? Of course. But despite what anyone thinks, Batista’s best matches weren’t good because he was ‘carried,’ they were good because he’s not THAT bad, first of all, and because he worked with people who were complimentary to his style. That’s quite different from being ‘carried.’

What we saw in this match was a great blend of Eddie Guerrero’s technical prowess meshed with Batista’s raw power. One spot saw Batista lift Guerrero into a bear hug from a mount position, which was pretty impressive. Eddie Guerrero worked this match as a heel who wasn’t a heel. Not quite a tweener, not quite a face, not quite a heel. His character going into this match was that of a heel who was having a change of heart (or was he?) and was having conflicts with his conscience and whether to screw over one of his best friends (Batista) or not. After his defeat a the hands of Batista, in a post-match handshake Eddie Guerrero seemingly turns face, but… …doesn’t. Batista turns his back and Eddie Guerrero smirks. Batista turns back, and the smirk is gone. This match told this story more than effectively and I have to wonder if Eddie Guerrero worked a bad match or told a single bad story in the ring in his whole career, because I can’t recall one.

What’s your favorite Eddie Guerrero moment?

My thoughts before the 2012 WWE Royal Rumble

It’s finally every wrestling fan’s favorite time of the year, the beginning of the ‘Road to WrestleMania.’ I for one am especially looking forward to this year’s Royal Rumble for a few reasons. This year, WWE has announced that ‘every’ WWE wrestler is eligible for the Royal Rumble. Will this include existing champions? Could the WWE Champion hypothetically win a shot against the World Heavyweight Champion?

A lot of things seem to be revisited in some way this year. In the 2011 Royal Rumble, CM Punk and Daniel Bryan kicked things off right, exciting the crowd, one stiff move after another. William Regal added to the excitement, taking brutal kicks to the chest from Bryan, showing as always that Regal’s British balls are bigger than yours. Fast forward to 2012: CM Punk and Daniel Bryan are WWE’s main event titleholders and are in high-profile storylines, as they should be. The Miz, who was defending WWE Champion at the 2011 event, is now the #1 entrant. Dolph Ziggler reprises his role as a main event title contender, but this time for the WWE Championship.

I expect to see the rebuilding process start on Sunday for The Miz. Believe me, he’ll have a strong showing. He won’t win it, but I expect a good 20-25 minutes for him. His heat has fizzled out but there’s no way they won’t have a plan in mind for last year’s WrestleMania headliner at this year’s big show.

 It’s rumored that some sort of big swerve will happen. Will Punk lose his title and then win the Rumble? Will Bryan do the same? Will they BOTH lose their titles and be the final two duking it out for their WrestleMania rematch? Not likely. I’d love it, and I wouldn’t even be surprised if we saw a brief champion vs champion encounter WITHIN the match, but I don’t see either of them winning it. I don’t see either champion losing their title, either. The swerve we’ll see just might involve ‘The Streak’ as a substitute for a title shot. Whether that means Triple H will finagle his way into the Rumble or that Chris Jericho will win it I do not know.

Hypothetical thought: what if The Rock won it? I mean, he’s eligible, if they’re still technically considering him a ‘WWE Superstar.’ It’d be a terrible idea, and won’t happen, but it’s an interesting thought. Bad for business, though, because they’ll already sell the event fine as it is.

Expect surprises as always. Who to expect? I don’t know. Many are saying Rikishi, Ernest Miller, or others. I’m happy with whatever WWE throws our way. I think some sort of spot with Rikishi & his sons (The Usos) would be great, but that would mean the Usos would be in the Royal Rumble.

You know who I’d like to see? Road Warrior Animal. Maybe this is a bit of a cliché, but if John Laurinaitis pulled some sort of managerial bullshit that un-banned Swagger and Vickie Guerrero from ringside, how fitting would it be for CM Punk to cut a quick promo, remind us that he’s here to ‘make things interesting again,’ and bring in Johnny Ace’s brother as a special outside enforcer? Cheap pop, and it’d be a nice ‘sequel’ to Punk bringing in The Fink as his personal ring announcer.

I predict that I will not even bother watching the Kane vs John Cena match. Don’t care. Don’t care about the match, don’t care about the storyline, don’t care about Kane, and I don’t care about John Cena. In fact, give me another 20-second Divas title match instead, even (I’m talking to you, Royal Rumble 2010).

Aside from this, the card looks great. The Royal Rumble is like pizza. When it’s bad, it’s still good. You can’t screw up a 30-man battle royal no matter how hard you try, WWE. Give us Punk, give us the Funk, and we’ll forget that Kane/Cena has stunk.

When I first watched this, my jaw dropped, because I didn’t think Brodus said “Funky” Chicken. Sounded like something else!

WWE TLC 2011: Zack Ryder, Daniel Bryan, & CM Punk Make Teh Internetz Explode

I’ll start off by saying that TLC was pretty damn good. It wasn’t anything spectacular, but it continued the recent trend of WWE putting out surprisingly good pay-per-view shows. The internet’s buzzing and gloating thinking that WWE is ‘booking for them,’ leaving John Cena off of the card and putting belts on the independent stars of yesterday. Wrong. Sources say that the million-time world champion was backstage but was not used because they are saving him for Raw so his program with Kane can start/continue. They used the opportunity to focus on other stars and remind WWE fans that Primo is still with the company.

They say the opening match is the 2nd-most important match of the night, and Zack Ryder’s title hunt came to an end to excite a hot crowd. The ‘internet sensation’ captured his first singles title and celebrated with his father, who was sitting in the front row, covered in ‘Broski’ gear, and couldn’t have looked happier if he tried. It was truly a great moment, whether you like Ryder or not. His ‘story’ is a remarkable one.

Up next, Air Boom retained the tag team titles. This match sort of threw the night off for me. Granted, I am NOT a fan of Air Boom at all, but there was something ‘off’ about this match, regardless.

After some awkward PG racism/sexual references between a black Santa Clause and a midget dressed as an elf, Randy Orton took on Wade Barrett in a tables match. I admit, I don’t remember a single thing about this match. Why? Well for starters, Randy Orton hasn’t been memorable since… well, I can’t remember. He was probably the Intercontinental Champion or feuding with legends. Secondly, where are the TAG TEAM gimmick matches? I couldn’t help but think of 3 Minute Warning versus the Dudleys (& Matt Hardy, I think). I don’t particularly like tables matches but I think an elimination-style tag match of any sort has the potential to tell a great story. Instead, we get another Randy Orton match that ends predictably: creative RKO through a table.

After such a great opener, this show headed downhill fast. What was next? Beth Phoenix versus Kelly Kelly. Rock bottom. That’s not a Dwayne Johnson reference, by the way. Forgettable match for a now-forgettable angle. I had high hopes for it a while back but they dropped the ball. Beth retained her title, thankfully.

Triple H and Kevin Nash’s match was up next, and I’ll admit I was intrigued by this. However, can’t say I paid attention to it, because once I saw Kevin Nash’s s l o w walk to the ring, I had to fight the urge to fall asleep. The idea of him wrestle Triple H was just not that appealing to me, I realized. I would have liked to have seen him face CM Punk, but that didn’t happen. Watch it yourself, though, and form your own opinion. A lot of people don’t like Kevin Nash, but a lot of people also don’t have a clue what they’re talking about.

[Sidenote: John Cena's 5 moves of doom are actually 17 signature moves/finishers. Counting never was a strong suit of internet fans.]

Word is, however, that that was Kevin Nash’s retirement match, at least in his own eyes. If that is the case, I’d imagine he gave it 115%, and I will give it a try later. Triple H won and kayfabe-injured Nash to shelf him for at least six weeks (indefinitely).

Another match I can’t say I cared much about was the unannounced Sheamus vs Jack Swagger match. Who won? Who cares? Not I. Sheamus wins, but I can’t in good conscience give a damn about a Jack Thwagger match.

Big Show’s feud with Mark Henry came to an abrupt end after a crappy 5-minute ‘chair match.’ What the hell is a chair match? I ask that every year. Big Show wins, and gets taken out by Mark Henry. Your NEW WORLD CHA-

I would have preferred WrestleMania but I’m relieved that he actually won it.

Your NEW WORLD CHAMPION, Daniel Bryan. That’s right, in a completely shocking moment that no one expected or saw coming a mile away, Daniel Bryan cashed in his Money in the Bank title shot opportunity and ended Big Show’s title reign. Earlier in the night, Big Show claimed he’d win the belt and win his 9-year drought (that long? wow!). That drought was restarted after his two-minute-and-twelve-second reign ended. I was disappointed he didn’t turn heel on Bryan. He looked ‘uncomfortable,’ but barely agitated by the fact that he was robbed. He might as well have been John Cena, goofily shrugging off his 10th Rock Bottom (actually a Dwayne Johnson reference). We’ll see what happens on Raw, though.

Next up was Cody Rhodes versus Booker T. Enjoyable match, to be honest, and it was great to see Booker T in action again, putting over one of WWE’s hottest young heels. Cody Rhodes retains and is still on fire with his run as the [Classic] Intercontinental Champion.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about the main event other than that I am a fan of all three participants. It was a great match, and there were a few interesting spots. Punk was handcuffed to the turnbuckle at one point and he removed the turnbuckle with his bare hands, which was completely unrealistic, but I’m willing to let it slide, WWE. It was a solid match and all three should be commended, but Ricardo Rodriguez was the MVP of the night. Rodriguez took a Bubba Ray / Jeff Hardy bump (pushed off the top of a ladder from the ring, onto tables at ringside) and he’s only a ‘ring announcer!’ I mean, I realize he’s a wrestler, and a more-than-competent one, but considering he wasn’t even IN the match, he has my absolute respect for taking that bump. He did his part to contribute in trying to make that match better than it was, taking a big risk, even though he personally didn’t stand to gain anything from doing it. I think we’ll see the end of the Punk-Del Rio feud very soon, but it’s been great, to be honest, and Rodriguez has added a lot of great detail to it.

Overall, not an amazing event, but it had enough feel-good moments to rank it as above-average. I don’t think the lack of John Cena made the show any better or worse, either. It did create an opportunity for Primo to be on pay-per-view for once, but it still felt like there was a lot of ‘filler’ on the card. I guess that is to be expected when Big Show & Mark Henry’s match was so short. Word is that Mark Henry was injured during his match with John Cena on Raw, so they took the belt off of him. It makes sense for Big Show to be the last champion before Bryan, because he has claim to a rematch, and a new program is immediately set up. The short reigns take a giant dump on the title’s prestige, but business is business and all that really matters is having a plan in place for “next week’s show.”

WWE Hall of Famer Bobby Heenan turns 67 today.

Included after the jump are some memorable Bobby Heenan clips.

What’s YOUR favorite Bobby Heenan moment?

It’s Halloween, woop-dee-doo. I don’t usually buy into holiday nonsense, but a post over at Feminine Smark inspired me. I didn’t realize it until now, but Halloween Havoc 1998 showcased a few of my absolute FAVORITE wrestling moments as a kid. Sting vs Bret Hart was a dream match for me (Sharpshooter vs Scorpion Deathlock?!) and the thought of it still gives me wrestling-mark-goosebumps. I recall Diamond Dallas Page vs Bill Goldberg being a huge deal as well. Face vs face, the people’s champ vs the unbeaten Goldberg. Diamond Dallas Page was the type to never quit or give up at any cost, and Goldberg was an unstoppable force. This match pretty much sold itself.

The real reason to buy Halloween Havoc 1998, but not the reason they wanted you to

As if these two  marquee match-ups didn’t sell the event on their own, we also had “Hollywood” Hulk Hogan versus old rival The Ultimate Warrior. This match has since become a punchline and it’s the first thing people think of when Halloween Havoc 1998 is mentioned, sadly. This is what they built the event around. It’s on the cover of the VHS and was trusted to sell copies.

This completely overlooks the real reason to have ordered Halloween Havoc 1998 or buy it on VHS: Bret Hart vs Sting and Diamond Dallas Page vs Goldberg. I didn’t even realize they were on the same event, either! It’s hard to say who is to blame for that but it’s not really necessary to blame anyone. With Ultimate Warrior vs Hulk Hogan, it was an attempt to cash in on something well-known, even if many years had passed. We all know Bischoff is known to do that from time to time. It’s hard to blame him for trying, and I don’t think it would be treated with such disregard had the flash-paper incident not happened. It was all a questionable storyline at best but I’m sure plenty of people bought the pay-per-view to see Warrior in action. I for one have never been a fan of Ultimate Warrior, and probably never will be. However, as much as I’d like to pin this train wreck on him, I just can’t. But it’s important to remember that hindsight is 20/20.

Oh, BROTHER…

Halloween Havoc 1998 and more of the greatest ideas ever concocted.

Speaking of questionable storylines, the card also showcased Scott Hall versus Kevin Nash. WCW exploited Scott Hall’s alcoholism and turned it into a storyline. Brilliant! I remember having a really uncomfortable feeling about this as a kid, thinking it was real, all while knowing that 99% of things in wrestling are part of the show. Kudos for them for the realism, I guess, but shame on them for that kind of realism. This might have been the beginning of a long line of bad ideas from WCW. Alcoholism aside, Nash vs Hall had a great deal of history, and it was a big deal.

Earlier in the card, we saw Disco Inferno vs Juventud Guerrera and Disco Inferno vs Billy Kidman. Disco defeated Juventud to get a title shot. Why not Juvi…? Disco Inferno, wrestling twice on pay-per-view? Really? Perry Saturn vs LODI? Really? The pay-per-view ran late, probably because there was a ton of filler. WCW was always stellar at booking & promoting their main event feuds, but their midcard storylines were a jumbled, second-rate mess. It’s a shame, too, because this is where all of ‘tomorrow’s’ talent was. Had they paid more attention to these guys, WCW might have lasted and still been around today.

Halloween Havoc 1998′s inadvertent let-down

I think the main reason I remember Halloween Havoc 1998 was Goldberg vs DDP, though. Because of the show running so late, several thousand people lost the live feed at 11 pm, and missed the title match. WCW aired it for free on Nitro the next night. Honestly, I believe this was intentional. Bischoff is still doing these terrible bait-and-switch tactics today in TNA, and I strongly feel that this was intentional. Otherwise, you can’t honestly expect to show 11 matches on one show, with entrances and corny post-match shenanigans, when most of the headliners would be at least 12-15 minutes long.

I don’t have much else to say without getting even more frustrated about the way this show was pieced together, but it’s worth checking out for the nostalgia-fest and one or two of the midcard features like Raven vs Chris Jericho.

This event isn’t on DVD, but if you want to buy an overpriced VHS as a collector’s item, clickhere.

What did you think of Halloween Havoc 1998 as a kid versus now?

I hate to give one of those cliché 1998-geocities “this site under construction” messages, so I won’t. Consider this a warning and a helpful suggestion to any fellow bloggers out there: back up your websites’ databases, because you never know when you’re going to get hit. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

In the meantime, check out RudoReels.com for some Lucha Libre and international wrestling DVDs. That would be one of my other websites, which also got hit, so I have a lot on my plate as that is being rebuilt as well. RudoReels is accepting orders, though, regardless, so check it out.

Click ‘continued’ for a few samples of what RudoReels has to offer:

More samples

Let the speculation and fantasy-booking begin.

One night after Night of Champions, and we’re already speculating about Survivor Series. Well, I am, at least. The rest of the wrestling world is probably drooling over Hell in a Cell 2011 and how that will go down, however illogical a gimmick pay-per view may be.

Last night we saw John Cena capture his hundredth WWE Championship (or something like that) and Triple H pin CM Punk after a barrage of run-ins on both participants of the match. Peter Gabriel would be proud, as we saw a return of the sledgehammer, as Kevin Nash was laid out by Triple H. It’s sad that I have to stop and think who had something to do with wrestling most recently, Peter Gabriel or a sledgehammer, but I do assume Triple H utilized the weapon more recently than “Big Time” WrestleMania 22.

Anywho, back to business. I don’t see Alberto Del Rio in a Hell in a Cell match. It would make absolutely zero sense and he’d be out of his element. I really don’t know what they’re going to do with Cena, unless they go the tag match route, but that wouldn’t make much sense either. I just don’t logically see a WWE Championship Hell in a Cell match this year.

Triple H and CM Punk WILL however do battle in the massive cage, mark my words. The point of a cage is no escape, and protection from interference, which would make perfect sense for Punk & Triple H. “Awesome Truth” and Kevin Nash can’t interfere if the match takes place in the confines of a Hell in a Cell cage. Given the number of Hell in a Cell matches that have spilled outside of the cage, though, (I mean hell, it’s an annual feature in WWE video games) I think it defeats the purpose and we’d see interference anyway. As far as booking the match, goes, it would work, though.

Alberto Del Rio in Hell in a Cell makes no sense. But you already knew that. But...does WWE?

For Del Rio, though, it’d make little sense. Sure, he’ll be getting a rematch. But for a Hell in a Cell match to take place between him and John Cena, it wouldn’t make sense.  Unless…

Now, truthfully I have no idea how close to Rey Mysterio is to returning. For all I know, he could miss WrestleMania, so take this as a hypothetical fantasy-booking concept. These two have done battle many times since Del Rio has debuted. Usually, it involves interference from Ricardo Rodriguez. Rey’s had some great feuds in recent years and this is certainly one of them. The next logical step would be Hell in a Cell–a first for both wrestlers.

Mysterio returned in 2009 AT Hell in a Cell to team up with Batista to face Jerishow for the tag titles. It wasn’t a Hell in a Cell match, but this year, this situation’s return could warrant one.

On the Smackdown end of things, new world champion Mark Henry will undoubtedly face Randy Orton in a Hell in a Cell match. It would make sense. Will it be good? Maybe, maybe not. I for one am very happy to see Henry win a world championship. Had he not won it last night, he would have won it at Hell in a Cell.

Regarding the Rock, I doubt he’ll be back on TV anytime soon unless it’s via satellite. Him being booked to wrestle is enough alone to probably sell Survivor Series, and they’ll hold off on appearances to ensure that more people will buy it. I really think Punk & Triple H will be worked into the match, but I’m not sure how. Personally I’d love to see the pay-per-view not even have a world title match:

Cena, The Rock, CM Punk, Sheamus, and Randy Orton vs R-Truth, The Miz, Kevin Nash, Mark Henry, and Christian. The Big Show returns to rekindle his feud with Mark Henry, with the Big Show probably going over for the title at Royal Rumble 2012. The faces would probably dominate but Mark Henry would be protected and eliminated by count-out as he walks off to brawl with Big Show. This would be one hell of a main event and it would leave the rest of the card open for a US title or Intercontinental title match, or the tag titles.

Hell, put the tag belts back onto Otunga & McGillicutty, and do another Survivor Series match with champions versus challengers, where if a champion gets pinned, he loses his title: McGillicutty, Otunga, Ziggler, Rhodes, & Beth Phoenix vs Air Boom, [Morrison, Swagger, or Alex Riley]  Dibiase, and Kelly Kelly. Elimination style, and you’d probably have the heel team win but have a title or two change hands. By then, I’d hope Beth Phoenix would be a champion, so it could work.

There's dos Caras there, Junior. See what I did there?

Sin Cara vs Sin Cara could also be properly built to be a PPV-worthy match on its own by then, too.

The trouble with having a card that traditionally consists of 5 on 5 matches is it requires far more wrestlers than a company might be used to using. With Big Show, Kane, and Mysterio all M.I.A., there are even less options available.

A lot of things could change before Survivor Series. John Cena could lose the WWE title on Raw. Not likely, but entirely possible. This is all speculation, but that’s what makes wrestling fun.

What’s your ideal Survivor Series card?

September 21 edit: WWE has defied all logic by including CM Punk in the Del Rio / Cena Hell in a Cell match. Punk vs Triple H would be a far better draw, don’t you think? If they have the cell, why not use it for more matches? It wouldn’t cost anything extra, other than the electricity. Hell, they could always just leave the cell down for the entire card. Who wants to see Kelly Kelly get pummeled in a Hell in a Cell match? Anyone? No? OK, well we can at least agree that the other midcard matches would be great in the cell. 

I’d been planning for the longest time to give ECW a shot. I missed it the first time around, for many reasons. For one, I was a WCW fan and was glued to the TV thanks to a lot of their storylines. Feel free to laugh; looking back, some of those storylines weren’t so great. I understand why I liked them. I liked WCW, but that didn’t mean I was anti-ECW. I just didn’t see a need to seek out ‘more,’ because I was content with what I was seeing. Another reason was that I didn’t like the extreme realism presented in some matches. I was never a fan of hardcore wrestling.

Years have passed, and I have become the modern equivalent of a tape-trader. After getting ahold of the entire run of ECW’s Hardcore TV, I decided to give it a go. If you’re thinking of giving ECW a try, be on the lookout for more posts like this one. Or, if you’re a longtime fan, feel free to comment as I go through the years.

Eddie Gilbert (August 14, 1961 – February 18, 1995)

1993: ”Hot Stuff” Eddie Gilbert

What may strike first-time viewers as odd is the realization that Paul Heyman was not present in ECW for most of 1993. In fact, ECW was lead by a completely different loud-mouthed heel: Eddie Gilbert.

Billed as being from ‘Every Girl’s Dream’ or ‘Every Woman’s Fantasy,’ Eddie Gilbert’s arrogant persona perfectly wove itself into the fabric of Eastern Championship Wrestling. Before the barbed wire and flaming tables, ECW was a family-friendly indy promotion. This wasn’t an overnight change, but it was a gradual progression as directions started to change. In early 1993, Eddie Gilbert served as one of the top heels in the company as well as the booker.

On the first episode of Hardcore TV, Gilbert is immediately thrust into a storyline with Terry Funk. Terry Funk and Eddie Gilbert would face off in the main event of Summer Sizzler, a supercard held at the ECW Arena on June 19, 1993. At first glance, viewers might write Eddie Gilbert off as ‘Jerry Lawler Lite,’ and Eddie Gilbert would probably take that as a compliment, being that Jerry Lawler was his idol. Eddie Gilbert’s pro-wrestling resume had included Mid-South, CWA, and Jim Crockett Promotions, and he learned how to be an old-school heel from the best in the business.

As great as Terry Funk is or was, the real star throughout this entire angle was Eddie Gilbert. Gilbert had a persona that had viewers shaking their heads in annoyance yet still wanting to see more. Coming out to Donna Summer’s “Hot Stuff,” Eddie Gilbert was victorious versus Terry Funk in their Summer Sizzler “Texas Chain Massacre” match. This match was your standard strap match, but the strap was a chain, instead. Critics may have been annoyed that Gilbert won the high-profile match that he himself booked, but what was great about it was that Terry Funk was booked very strongly, and Eddie Gilbert still won by underhanded tactics, like a true heel should, while keeping the babyface strong.

After this, Eddie Gilbert (along with manager Paul Heyman) would film skits in public places in Philadelphia, with Gilbert flaunting his newly-crowned title of “King of Philadelphia.” This to me was the highlight of 1993, and I noticed a change when Eddie Gilbert left. Apparently there was a falling out between Gilbert and ECW owner Todd Gordon, and Paul Heyman took over as booker in September. Paul Heyman was very rusty, at first, and it took him a while to find his rhythm, so to speak.

Eddie Gilbert would go on to work for Smoky Mountain Wrestling for the remaining months of his career, which would be cut short due to a heart attack. Eddie Gilbert died on February 18, 1995, in Puerto Rico; he was 33.

More to come in Volume 2. Click “continue reading” for some classic Eddie Gilbert clips, and be sure to check out this DVD of Eddie Gilbert’s ECW moments.

A look at Eddie Gilbert’s feud with Terry Funk

Eddie Gilbert in World Championship Wrestling  video game (NES)

Eddie Gilbert’s final United States match

What’s YOUR favorite Eddie Gilbert memory?

CM Punk with Triple H at WWE Survivor Series 2006: “Are You Ready?”

WWE Night of Champions 2011: CM Punk, Triple H, John Cena, Alberto Del Rio…Fresh?

CM Punk

I haven’t been following WWE that closely in recent weeks. I probably could have capitalized on the CM Punk craze by blogging about his classic-of-tomorrow feud with John Cena. However, life happens, and blogging did not happen, so there is some catching up to be done.

Even the most casual fans had to have heard about this red-hot feud. CM Punk wins the WWE Championship at WWE Money in the Bank 2011 at the peak of the hottest feud of the year. He then ‘leaves’ with the title, leaving WWE belt-less. Cue Mr McMahon. John Cena wins a new championship from tournament winner Rey Mysterio, in more of ‘the same’ nonsense. That same night, CM Punk returns, with new entrance music in tow. Somewhere along the way, Triple H returns to inform Mr. McMahon that he is reliving him of his duties, and that Helmsley would be the new acting COO. McHunter books CM Punk vs John Cena at WWE SummerSlam 2011, Kevin Nash returns, and Alberto Del Rio cashes in. Punk is angry, but not at Del Rio; CM Punk doesn’t trust Triple H or old crony Kevin Nash, which brings us to today.

At WWE Night of Champions 2011, CM Punk faces Triple H. If Triple H loses, he steps down from his position. Now, for me, this is a little disappointing, as I think it gives away the ending of the match. Triple H wins after interference from Kevin Nash. At least we’d have an inkling of hope or chance that Triple H would lay down for CM Punk if that stipulation wasn’t present. That aside, this match-up is fresh. Triple H hasn’t wrestled since April, so it could be hit-or-miss.  Regardless, it’s a match that should generate a decent amount of buzz, despite Triple H’s bland rambling promo work.

Naturally, we have John Cena back in the title hunt for the thousandth time. However, this one might be good. John Cena features Alberto Del Rio for the WWE Championship because apparently he gets a rematch for losing to CM Punk. CM Punk lost to Alberto Del Rio at WWE SummerSlam 2011, so the rematch still happens, but with Alberto Del Rio playing the role of WWE champ.

On purely an in-ring standpoint, this could be entertaining but won’t make anyone jump out of their seats. It’s playing second-fiddle to CM Punk and Triple H, mostly because Triple H returns are generally done really well. After all, he’s had a lot of practice, be it quad injuries or getting desk jobs. I don’t have a prediction for this match because it’s a 50/50 split, but I’d have to go with Cena. WWE’s going full-force with the hype for John Cena vs The Rock at WrestleMania 28, and they may not want to have John Cena walk into WWE Survivor Series 2011 to team with The Rock without the WWE Championship around his waist. However, it could fuel the feud if he can’t get the job done and show up with the belt.

The rest of the WWE Night of Champions 2011 card

Enough about the guys, though. Last month, I posted some commentary on the WWE’s Divas division. I incorrectly predicted a victory for Beth Phoenix, but I will remake that same prediction for Night of Champions, as Phoenix challenges WWE Divas Champion Kelly Kelly one more time. WWE’s Divas still have nothing on TNA’s Knockouts Division, but I do have hope that they are trying to improve things. We’ll see.

Riley & Miz have split, but this won’t be the last time you see EITHER of them near the WWE Championship. Guaranteed.

One match that got left off of SummerSlam was the United States Championship match that I thought was a lock: Dolph Ziggler vs Alex Riley. Alex Riley’s on his way to becoming a mega-star, and I thought SummerSlam 2011 would be the time time and place. Now, the match has evolved into a fatal four-way featuring John Morrison and Jack Swagger. I really don’t see anyone winning other than Alex Riley.

The WWE Tag Team Championship finally gets some star-power now that ‘Air Boom’ (Kofi Kingston & Evan Bourne) are the champions. They’ll be facing the new(ish) duo of R-Truth and The Miz. Out of these four, I really only care for The Miz, and he’s been on a low patch ever since ‘making’ Alex Riley. I see Air Boom retaining, but I wanted to point out that I’m glad that these guys are all in tag teams because it allows them all to get onto the card in a logical, watchable manner. I’ve got zero interest in ever seeing a Kofi Kingston or R-Truth singles match ever again.

Last but not least, Randy Orton defends the World Heavyweight Championship against Mark Henry. I’m admittedly a mark for Mark Henry and I’m rooting for him in this one. Do I think they’ll actually go through with it? I don’t know, but I hope so. Mark Henry took the ball and ran with it (as fast as a 400-pounder can, at least) when he was given the opportunity to represent the ECW brand as their champion, and he earned my respect. You may not see him do moonsaults or arm drags but if used properly he’s still an asset to WWE, and he deserves to be rewarded for being with them for so long.

Just over two days until the big show (not Paul Wight…he’s injured) and about 15 minutes until Smackdown’s go-home broadcast starts.

What are your picks for WWE Night of Champions 2011–will CM Punk pull off a win against the “unjobbable” Triple H?

TNA's Brooke Tessmacher

With so much attention generally directed towards WWE these days, it’s only fair to take a look at TNA’s take on women’s wrestling: The Knockouts’ Division.

I haven’t really been following the Impact Wrestling broadcasts, for obvious reasons:  generally, puncturing both ear drums with an ice pick is a preferable activity by comparison. That being said, I didn’t have very high hopes of HardCORE Justice 2011. I’m not completely done with the show, as I’m watching Beer Money defend the TNA World Tag Team Championship against Mexican America. However, so far, the Knockouts have had some of the most entertaining–to me at least–matches of the night.

I’m not sure if this is speaking highly of the Knockouts or lowly of the male wrestlers, and I suppose that’s a matter of a glass half-full or half-empty. To give TNA the benefit of the doubt, I’ll go with half-full.

Earlier in the night, we saw Mexican America unsuccessfully challenge Tara and Misss Tessmacher for the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championship. It was a solid match and Tessmacher really surprised me. Tessmacher countered a running powerslam into a small package. It was my first time seeing a Rosita match and my first time seeing a Miss Tessmacher match and they both made a great impression. It’s worth being noted Brooke Tessmacher was a member of “Extreme Expose” with Kelly Kelly in WWE. I don’t even remember her wrestling back then, yet she progressed to be miles ahead of Kelly in terms of talent.

TNA’s still playing the ‘sex sells’ card, naturally, and all four of these Knockouts deserve to be called knockouts in that sense, but it’s nice to see an emphasis on the in-ring action rather than emphasis on the knockouts getting INTO the ring.

The second Knockouts match of the night featured two former WWE ‘Divas’ facing off for the TNA Knockouts’ Championship. Katie Lea Burchill, now billed as ‘Winter,’ took on Mickie James. Now, there’s a lot I don’t like and have never liked about Mickie James. Her entrance music is one thing, and her clumsiness in the ring is reminiscent of John Cena. There’s just something ‘off’ about how she executes most of her strikes.I’d never noticed anything special about Burchill, quite possibly because WWE never allowed her to do much.

While it wasn’t an amazing match, it still blew WWE’s Divas matches out of the water, easily. It felt like a pay-per-view match with actual thought put into it. Burchill worked on Mickie’s back as she bent her over her knee, and it’s the type of planning that you rarely see in womens’ wrestling in the United States. The match ended with Mickie James getting Great Muta’d in the face by Winter. James then writhes in pain as it burns her (supposedly). If it was in Winter’s mouth, how is it burning her? Well, it’s TNA. Baby steps, I suppose.

One great move TNA DID make, however, is constructing the Mexican America stable. Rosita & Sarita accompanied Hernandez & Anarquia to the ring for their title shot against Beer Money, and it reminded me of another missed opportunity for WWE. WWE never uses its Divas in stables. If they do, it is at the expense of their in-ring careers, because WWE’s writers ‘don’t know how’ to write angles for stables with female in-ring competitors. TNA is doing a great thing with Mexican America, because Rosita and Sarita are getting additional exposure by being associated with them in major angles with Beer Money.

WWE could benefit from a similar situation, but unless someone clues the McMahons in on the need for improvement, things will never change. TNA, however, is finally returning to two of their strong points: the X-Division and the Knockouts. For that, I applaud them.

WWE’s Kelly Kelly, Roddy Piper, and Eve Torres at WrestleMania press conference in NYC

Kelly Kelly vs Beth Phoenix: Hope for WWE’s Diva Division

Fortunately, there’s hope; light at the end of the tunnel in the form of Beth Phoenix and Natalya Neidhart. One of WWE’s biggest mistakes for the women’s division was to get rid of the actual WWE Women’s Championship in favor of a new WWE Divas Championship. Originally having two womens’ divisions, they decided to merge than and unify the titles. It’s disappointing to see women’s wrestling represented by that. It’s very tacky, and in my eyes it’s even worse than the ‘Spinner Belt.’ However, I have to keep reminding myself that it’s a merchandising ploy, good for business, and at the end of the day, ‘it’s just wrestling.’

What would be good for business is a greater emphasis on quality wrestling, however. Good, compelling writing and characters are just as much a draw to fans as visual appeal. It’s the same logic applicable to male wrestlers. A wrestler doesn’t have to be jacked to sell tickets. A ‘Diva’ doesn’t have to be a one-hundred-pound blonde bombshell to be a success, either. Japan proved in the 1980s and 90s that women wrestling can even out-draw men’s wrestling.

Kelly Kelly

With Beth Phoenix, it’s clear that sexuality is a powerful marketing detail here, too, but at least Beth can back it up in-ring and on the mic in WWE compared to other Divas.

I’m not knocking Kelly Kelly, as she’s improved so much since her ‘Extreme Exposé’ days. It’s clear, though, that Kelly Kelly is no Trish Stratus, and she’s not even a Sable. I wouldn’t dare compare Kelly Kelly to Sunny, either. Sunny may not have been a wrestler, but she could TALK. I can’t say the same for Kelly Kelly, though. Everyone defends Kelly Kelly by saying she’s ‘improved so much,’ and I will too, because it’s the best I can come up with to play devil’s advocate here. But does improvement matter all that much when you go from horrible to less-horrible? In the realm of bikini-models-turned-wrestlers, though, she’s good for what she is and is relatively over. It’s pretty clear to me, though, that Sunday marks the end of her run as Divas Champion.

Beth Phoenix

On to Beth Phoenix. Beth Phoenix turned heel on Kelly Kelly after winning a #1 Contender’s Battle Royal on Raw. Kelly hugged Phoenix, which made very little sense. Phoenix clubbed her like the She-Bear she is and told her her days as the ‘perky Barbie champion are over,’ or something like that. Basically, the ‘model’ is getting her butt handed to her by a powerhouse female wrestler. Finally.

TNA Knockouts

TNA is currently running a similar angle which hasKnockouts ODB & Jackie as the tough-as-nails wrestling components versus the eye-candy team of Tracy and Velvet Sky. For a while, TNA’s best thing going was their women’s division, but they fell into the ‘sex-sells’ habit as well. Hopefully this marks the beginning of a departure from that, and hopefully WWE will be on a similar course.

SummerSlam

Not only do I predict that Beth Phoenix will win at WWE SummerSlam 2011, but I see her holding the title for a while as part of a monster push. WrestleMania will be potentially ‘wrestler-heavy’ this year (finally) and we may finally get to see one of my WrestleMania dream matches: Natalya Neidhart versus Beth Phoenix. Yes, I said ‘dream match.’ My theory is that Beth Phoenix is the quick replacement for Kharma, who had to leave due her pregnancy. Whether she will return or not only she knows, but I think that they may use some ideas meant for her in Beth Phoenix’s title run.

What are YOUR thoughts on Beth Phoenix, Kelly Kelly, and the state of the Diva Division in WWE?

TNA's Jeremy Borash

Cue the Eric Bischoff theme… “I’m Back!”

Wait, wrong company. But FINALLY, I’ve come back to… wait, wrong company again.

Anyway, I gave TNA yet another chance recently. Or should I say ‘Impact Wrestling.’ This dastardly deed came about after an exchange between myself and TNA’s Jeremy Borash. I insulted TNA, and he responded jokingly, so I felt bad and appreciated him taking the time to respond to a critic, which should probably be a no-no in the pro-wrestling realm of the internet.

You couldn’t pay me to. RT @JeremyBorash: About to watch @IMPACTWRESTLING Who’s watching?
@LIBERT4D

@LIBERT4D really? Ease up homeslice. How about a pint and a curry instead?
@JeremyBorash

@JeremyBorash I want to like it, I really do. They need just as much change as WWE does, to be fair. They should try a borash/taz combo
@LIBERT4D

@LIBERT4D last nights show was very good. Check out the replay
@JeremyBorash

So I told him I would give it a chance, because, to be fair, I hadn’t seen it in a while. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said it was painful to watch. If WWE could come full circle to convert me once again, though, why not TNA?

It turns out I came up with just as many things that I liked about the show as I did things that I didn’t like. In the optimistic sense, that’s quite an improvement.

The show wasn’t bad at all, but given the whole ‘wrestling matters’ shtick, one would think they’d hide the microphones a little better and focus on the wrestling. This particular episode of Impact Featured a TON of talking. It wasn’t all bad, either. The segments were a lot better than I last remembered seeing on a TNA show.

They’re running a tournament that is part of a long-running storyline for a title shot at Bound for Glory, which seems to be in some effect TNA’s version of King of the Ring. I approve, although I don’t know who this Crimson guy is and why he’s getting pushed so hard. I figure though, they’ve destroyed every other persona in the company in some way, so they have another chance to build up a fresh one, and probably destroy it.

TNA’s desperate for ratings, so what do they do? They put TWO gimmick matches on the same FREE television broadcast (which is pre-taped, might I remind, to add insult to injury). That’s all well and good, but as far as I know, they were unannounced (if you don’t count taping spoilers as announcements), meaning they had no real potential of a conversion to a ratings gain.

The Ultimate X match with Abyss and Brian Kendrick was as good as it could be, considering Abyss in that type of match is a fish-out-of-water type of situation. They did a great job, and I’ll add, too, that their match at Destination X was one of the only ones I could actually get into, as it told an old-school underdog story. Unfortunately, this marked the last comment of the night in the ‘pros’ column for me.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSYaDGbZFTY

Where do I start? Well, keep Christy Hemme backstage, or show her some Michael Buffer, Howard Finkel, Gary Capetta, or Lilian Garcia clips. Hell, even Ricardo Rodriguez does a better job. She is a terrible ring announcer.

Along with the ‘save the X-Division’ angle, TNA is also having a wrestler vs sexpot angle in the Knockouts division. The common ground between each, though, is that they spend more time talking about each division rather than SHOWING how much each division matters. I’m fully aware that proper build is essential for any match, but when there’s too much build (or poor build) and not enough match, does the wrestling really ‘matter?’

I admit, I didn’t pay much attention to the cage match, because I was burned out with frustration by then. I do recall Sting and Angle standing nose to nose to close the show, however. If you’re not watching TNA these days, Sting is currently doing a Heath Ledger Joker gimmick. One has to wonder if Bischoff or Russo saw the WrestleMania 27 fan-made poster featuring a mash-up of The Joker & the Sting/Undertaker fantasy-feud/result of speculation and thought, “hmm… WHAT IF?”

It’s not bad, but it’s not great. Ripping off something from a comic universe makes little sense to me, but not much in TNA ever did. On the other hand, Sting plays the character (relatively) well and it’s something different. I do think ‘Crow’ Sting would have made a lot more sense shortly after his time teaming with Nash, ‘fighting the system’ and kidnapping Samoa Joe. Given that you can toss a pebble at the ceiling of the Impact Zone and TNA refuses to take the show on the road, I don’t think Sting would be too convincing in the rafters, which would probably just be balcony seats or the last row of the bottom section.

Bottom line: If TNA continues to talk the talk without walking the walk, they’ll never gain footing. If they deliver on what they promise, they may stand a chance. WWE is on the verge of exploding, and Ring of Honor may potentially be creeping up again. It’s time for TNA to lower their sights and worry about maintaining a foothold on the number two spot rather than swinging for the fences with a little league team in a major league stadium with an all-star opposition.

When I graduated from high school in 2006, I couldn’t help but think of Randy Savage as I walked down the aisle. The same thoughts went through my mind when I walked to get my degree from Westfield State College in May of last year. Attending this year’s ceremonies is no different; as a long-time wrestling fan, upon hearing “Pomp and Circumstance” I immediately am reminded of the Macho Man shilling Slim Jims and dropping elbows. The one thing that will be different about hearing the song tomorrow, however, is it will not be a happy reminder.

This morning around 10 AM, Ralph Poffo suffered a heart attack while driving his Jeep with his wife. After crashing into a median, the retired wrestler was killed. Poffo’s wife suffered minor injuries, thankfully, but wrestling fans around the world now must mourn the lost of another hero: “Macho Man” Randy Savage has been added to the ‘list.’

Unfortunately, he has not been yet added to WWE’s Hall of Fame list, and fans have been pretty much dying for that to happen. Wrestling has been absolutely crazy in recent years: we’ve seen Bret Hart make amends with Shawn Michaels, a concept that even a year later gives me goosebumps just thinking about. We even saw Bret Hart come back to become United States Champion in a triumphant victory for a stroke survivor, even if it was a bad match. We’ve seen Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, Sean Waltman, Scott Hall, and Kevin Nash reunite for another angle. In fact, that was head-to-head with the Bret & Shawn moment. We’ve seen The Rock come back after eight years to a thunderous ovation, and announce a blockbuster match one year in advance. After all of this, we all thought we’d finally see Randy Savage in a WWE ring again, even for one interview. With a DVD set and action figure out, it had to happen, right? I mean if the proverbial hell can freeze over with Bret Hart in the ring again, Savage could happen.

may still happen, but it won’t be the same. Savage was one of the most deserving candidates for the Hall of Fame, and many will agree that Savage, along with Bruno Sammartino & Bob Backlund, are necessary inclusions in order for the Hall to be considered legitimate in any way or form. If his surviving family agrees that it was his wishes to go in, then he will, but if they know something we don’t, and he really was against it, then he may not go in.

Savage was before my time for the most part, and I regret growing up on the WCW era of Savage’s career, because eventually in life I was fortunate enough to learn about his career in WWF, and it was all great stuff. Savage was a true pioneer for high-flyers and was the perfect blend of the heavyweight and lightweight styles. It’s safe to say that Shawn Michaels owes a lot of his success to someone like Randy Savage, with the flashy, flamboyant attire and Elbow Drop finisher. Shawn Michaels also shared a manager in common with Savage: the late ‘Sensational’ Sherri Martel, a 2006 Hall of Fame inductee who passed a year later.

fans will be even more likely to remember Savage’s original manager and former wife, Miss Elizabeth [Hulette.] Elizabeth and Savage were pioneers in the ‘sports entertainment’ aspect of pro-wrestling, and Elizabeth paved the way for women as personalities in WWE. Sadly, Elizabeth passed in 2003. In an interview with Highspots.com, Ric Flair speculated that part of the reason for Savage’s absence from the wrestling business was that he had ‘never really gotten over Liz’s death.’

Savage’s work in WWF is what he will most likely be remembered for, he also had great moments before then, including runs in Continental Wrestling Association, feuding with owner Jerry “The King” Lawler over the AWA Southern Heavyweight Championship. Savage also teamed with his brother, ‘Leaping’ Lanny Poffo, to feud with The Rock N’ Roll Express. Before wrestling, Savage was a minor league baseball outfielder. Savage went on to become a WWF Intercontinental & World Heavyweight Champion, WWF King of the Ring winner, a WCW Champion, a WWF colour commentator & company ambassador, and an iconic figurehead for Slim Jim. Whether Ralph Poffo is known as Ralph Poffo, “Macho Man,” “Macho King,” a “Mega Power,” or a “Hall-of-Famer,” his contributions and influence to the wrestling world  will never be forgotten.

NASH!!!111oneoneone

After 24 years of pretty much the same thing, WWE did something not too drastic, although they would like you to think it’s a drastic change: adding ten men to the traditional thirty-man match. To compensate, the increments between timed entrances were reduced from two minutes to ninety seconds. This resulted in roughly the same total minimum match length, but helped showcase ten more aspiring stars and offering ten more pay-per-view payout bonuses.

This year’s extravaganza had something for everyone. The ‘smarky’ Boston crowd really ate up the opening sequences, as it featured WWE’s best pure wrestlers in the ring together: CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and William Regal, with Zack Ryder & Justin Gabriel as ‘buffers’ serving as elimination fodder for the three. The three traded stiff shots and showed the crowd a thing or two: Punk & Bryan will one day tear the house down if given the chance, and William Regal is one tough man.

An interesting spot would follow, as not too far into the match, John Morrison teased elimination by catching himself on the edge of the barricade and avoiding touching the floor. Using his ‘parkour’ skills, he managed to jump back onto the ring steps and re-enter the ring–a first in Rumble history.

The New Nexus dominated, and the match slowly ramped up towards bigger and badder opponents. After trampling Tyler Reks, Vladimir Kozlov tried his luck, to no avail. He did however get in a solid kick on CM Punk, who was sent flying backwards in a great spot. R-Truth was next, who didn’t stand a chance against Punk’s group. Punk did the knee/bulldog corner spot, with a hilarious ‘What’s Up’ to the crowd. Another fan favorite dominated by the Nexus, building towards the (not-so) surprising return of Booker T, to roaring ovation. Booker did all of his spots, including the Axe Kick, Book End, and Spinnarooni. This return was short-lived, as Booker was thrown out after losing to the numbers game. Unfortunately for the Nexus, though, the next participant was John Cena.

When Cena arrived, he pretty much trampled through the entire Nexus stable. Hornswaggle came out next, and the two teamed up for some comedic work that  involved Hornswaggle doing ‘Royal Rumble throwback moves’ like the Stunner, Sweet ‘Shin’ Music, the Attitude Adjustment, and even shaking the ropes like Warrior or Batista. It was entertaining, and the crowd ate it up. ‘Swaggle was eventually eliminated by Sheamus, so it was a good plan for easy heel heat on Sheamus.

The pop of the night came for number 32, Kevin Nash, in Diesel attire, including jet-black hair. WWE was not expecting Diesel’s return to get such an ovation, and called an ‘audible’ for Nash to stop and have words with Big Show, potentially setting up a feud (or team). Nash looked to be in great shape, despite being a few years over fifty.

With Michaels getting a Hall of Fame nod and Triple H waiting behind closed doors, expect to see a Kliq reunion in the upcoming months. I’d be shocked if it didn’t happen. Despite numerous ‘Diesel’ chants, Nash’s return didn’t last for long, and he was eliminated by Wade Barrett after a ’619′ from Rey Mysterio. Recent reports indicate that Nash is with WWE for the remainder of his career, wanting to retire as a member of the ‘Yankees of pro-wrestling.’

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zn1dmxoIGiw

The eventual winner was Alberto Del Rio, and I was completely shocked that they gave the win to someone in his debut year. They’ve been pushing him hard lately, but I’m still surprised. Del Rio has the most potential out of anyone on the roster, with looks, star quality, mic skills, ring skills, and experience, so it’s nice to see WWE capitalize on that.

The undercard of the pay-per-view included Dolph Ziggler and Randy Orton challenging for the World Heavyweight and WWE Championships, respectively, against champions Edge and The Miz. Miz-Orton was really nothing to write home about, but involvement from Punk & Nexus gave Miz the win, effectively putting heat on Punk & Miz. Miz would later interfere in the Rumble and eliminate John Cena, gaining more heat. Dolph Ziggler has a great deal of potential for his WWE future, despite lacking experience behind a microphone. His match with Edge was easily better than Miz and Orton’s.

Also that night was a Divas Title match. Originally advertised as a handicap match, the anonymous General Manager added Eve to the match, making it a fatal four-way. Eve is your new Divas Champion, which I am OK with, because I’d rather Awesome Kong comes in to destroy Eve than Natalya, as Natalya will probably be the most likely to be built up to go over Kong to regain the title.

John Cena vs Nexus
The show opens with John Cena cutting a promo on the Nexus. Apparently it’s being led by CM Punk now, which is great news. The Miz and Alex Riley interrupt, to inject the green WWE Champion into different main event situations, and keep the doors open for a Cena-Miz feud.

It's nice to see a champion dress with class instead of wearing jorts.

Pros:

• Punk leading Nexus is more entertaining than Barrett, and it ensures that Punk won’t be buried anytime soon. It makes Nexus seem a lot more ‘sinister.’
• Miz & Riley dress like champions. It’s good to see a heel champion come out in a suit. It’s more likely to bring class to the belt than a pair of jorts.
• Cena: “Cole has about as much street cred as the Jonas Brothers.”
• Cena makes a reference to having to keep it PG, which I thought was a neat comment aimed towards the older fans.

Cons:

• Cena’s comedy comments undermines The Miz as a worthy champion. He does have a point, though, as Miz’s delivery sometimes leaves a bit to be desired. Cena also puts ‘Cena vs Orton’ over as an iconic WrestleMania match-up, implying that Miz doesn’t belong in the main event. I think people would rather see someone new headline the show rather than see Cena vs Orton for the 80th time.
• Cole: “[John Cena] is the Ricky Gervais of WWE.” I’d like to hear an explanation for this one. I fail to see what Ricky Gervais has in common with John Cena. I guess the joke’s on me.
• ‘Poopy’ jokes.

Nexus attacks, and tag champs Nikolai Volkoff & Doink the Clown come to save the day. This serves as their ‘entrance’ for their title defense after the break, and opponents Jimmy & Jey Uso don’t have entrances either. It’s nice to not waste time, but it leaves the match void of any feeling of importance. Both fortunately and unfortunately, Santino Marella & ‘The Cobra’ are completely OVER with the crowd.

Morrison vs Daniel Bryan

Pros:

• One of the most enjoyable matches I’ve seen in a long time, and hopefully they start a program.
• Sheamus: “Turty-nine.”

Cons:

• Daniel Bryan is pretty bland. I hate to say it. He works circles around the entire roster, but his character is bland. So bland, that I shudder to think that the negativity from Michael Cole and the pairing/’trioing’ with the Bellas actually ‘works’ for him.
• Morrison gets the CLEAN victory over the UNITED STATES CHAMPION.
• Excellent match, but extremely short. These two could tear the house down in a longer match setting.
• Sheamus comes out in his Lord of the Rings-looking crap attire, and the US Title seems to take a backseat to the Sheamus/Morrison feud.
• Bellas are competing to be Bryan’s first…. first what? His first ride on public transportation, eh? I thought this was PG.

Dolph Ziggler vs Randy Orton

I groaned when I saw this match announced, but it makes sense from a booking standpoint. Have an open, back and forth match between two title contenders, and they look good for the pay-per-view. I expected a no-contest, but Randy got the clean win here, which works too. It doesn’t hurt Dolph much since he’s on the ‘away team’ of Smackdown.

Pros:

• Guerrero is still over, and hated even more than Cole, but with legitimate heat. But will the heat transfer to Dolph?
• I could see Orton & Ziggler main eventing WrestleMania 28. This was a fantastic match between two wrestlers I generally don’t ever care to see.
• Miz & Riley ultimately are put over, beating down Orton after the match. Standard. Maybe it’s the briefcase, or the suits, but Miz & Riley remind me of Ted DiBiase & I.R.S., and that’s a good thing.
• Consistency. Ziggler worked Orton’s leg over through the whole match, and Orton sold it even up until Miz was through with him. He will probably be selling it at the Rumble, which will make a semi-clean Miz victory more ‘acceptable’ to those who don’t take Miz seriously.

Cons:

• How are your pay-per-view main-eventers NOT main-eventing Raw?

Two crappy ‘matches’ combine to make one bathroom break. First, we have Natalya facing Maryse. I marked out when Natalya said, ‘Yeah, Baby!’ on her way to the ring. She got the quick submission victory, and it’s a relief to see her booked so strongly. After the match, Maryse and Ted DiBiase argued, teasing a possible split. It turned into an Over-the-Top-Rope Challenge, an annual Rumble hype staple. Mark Henry answered, promptly won, and the ring soon filled with Rumble hopelesses.

I call them hopelesses, because they were not hopefuls. They were all of the guys who have zero chance in winning the Rumble. They all tried to throw each other over the top rope, and it doesn’t really make sense to me. I get why they do it, but in an ‘if-it-were-real’ point of view, it’s illogical that anyone would try to go for the top rope dump instead of trying to cripple their opponents.

After this, we are treated to a mock-advertisement for the World’s Strongest Man cologne, full of kiddie humor. Fortunately, this was rectified by an interesting Royal Rumble video that gave us the statistics on the match’s history, another annual tradition.

CM Punk: The extra dose of personality the Nexus needed to stay relevant.

Cena-Punk

You can’t really go wrong with CM Punk, even if it’s with John Cena. It was a decent match, and these guys could really tear it up on pay-per-view when they go that route. The difference between Punk & Barrett is that Punk is more experienced in that type of setting. With obvious respect and credit due to Barrett, as he’s performed beyond expectations for someone so green getting such an extreme push so early in his career.

We saw an Anaconda Vice submission, and I’m not sure if he’s brought that back recently, but I don’t think I’ve seen it in a long time, so I was glad to see it ‘return.’ It was a good match but it dragged a bit, which makes me question Cena’s stamina. I realized that in a lot of his matches, he takes a beating, plays dead, escapes a lengthy rest hold, and makes a comeback. He’s a great, charismatic performer, but his matches follow the same formula a lot of the time, and I have to wonder if he gets winded easily or something.

Speaking of getting winded easily, Batista’s back! And he had all of his tattoos removed. Just kidding, but I did do a double-take when new Nexus member Mason Ryan appeared, dressed just like Batista, sporting a similar haircut & beard. The end result of the match was Ryan’s boot meeting Punk’s face, as Punk ‘sacrificed’ himself to gain the DQ win. Awesome ending. I haven’t seen anything like that in a while.

Overall, this was a pretty decent show, and I’ll be watching last night’s Raw to get myself caught up for the Royal Rumble. I haven’t decided if I’ll be able to endure Smackdown, too, but we’ll see.

Talking points:

• Thoughts on how Bryan is being utilized?
• What do Eve & Melina have to do with the Maryse/Natalya match-up?
• I’d like to see Rikishi come in to back his boys, The Usos. Thoughts?

WWE: Attitude Era

I’ve been trying to hype this site little by little, by taking part in discussions in the comment fields of the posts on popular WWE Facebook pages. It hasn’t been too successful, and I think I may have lost some intelligence as a result. A lot of WWE fans seem to be hell-bent on reliving the so-called glory days of the ‘attitude era,’ a term used to describe the view years of trash-TV many of us grew up on in the late 90s to early 00s. Of course you’ve got the ones who claim to be ‘old school’ fans, but consider D-Generation X to be ‘old school wrestling.’ I’d hardly like to even call Randy Savage old school, and his time was about 7-8 years prior.

Back to “The Attitude Era.” You know, the same era that brought the McMahons $50 million they blew on their failed attempt at a spot in the US Senate. The same era that made them even more than that $50 million, and made them enough money to even be able to be prosperous after failing to get an alternative football league off the ground past a single season. The same era that the McMahons seem to be ashamed of being associated with; an era that bridged the gap between WWF, the pro-wrestling company and WWE the multimedia juggernaut, specializing in ‘sports entertainment.’

Gone are the days of ‘bra and panties matches’ and beer baths on weekly television broadcasts, and the fans are up in arms about it. I for one am glad.

Randy Savage: the perfect example of why TV-14, blood, and T&A are not the ‘solution.’

Now, let me first tell you that I became a fan of professional wrestling in the late 90s. 1998, to be exact. I used to rush home from school every Tuesday to watch taped episodes of WCW Monday Nitro from the night before. Sometimes, I’d be lucky enough to watch it live, and one of my fondest memories to this day, still, is Bill Goldberg pinning Hulk Hogan for the world title, live on Nitro in Atlanta, Georgia. I followed WWF, too, but not as closely. A lot of the programming either bored me or was too off the wall for me to enjoy, and it didn’t have as much appeal as WCW. At least in my opinion at the time.

Slowly, that changed, however. All of my favorites began to ‘jump ship’ and show up on WWF’s programming. This was an exciting time, as a kid, because it truly felt like anything could happen. This was a time of disgruntled employees leaving to hopefully seek better opportunity in the rival promotion, but I didn’t realize that at the time. I loved WCW, but I loved following my favorites even more.

This being said, I’ll also say that I never got a pay-per-view. I can’t recall ever being amped up for a WWF event, but there were a few WCW shows I was really excited to see on VHS, thanks to a friend with a “hotbox.” I do recall seeing WrestleMania 2000 through that method, though, and it did feel like a big deal.

I think the reason WCW appealed to me more was that I liked WRESTLING. I knew from day one it was ‘fake,’ and I was OK with that. If anything, I liked it because I knew these guys could make it believable without really getting hurt–for the most part. I never liked the hardcore stuff, and I was more likely to cringe than cheer when I’d see a hard chairshot to the head. A part of me knew that that was more real than fake. People asked me why I liked ‘that fake stuff,’ and I’d always say, ‘well why would I want to see someone beat someone up for real? That would be pretty sick.’ Given the slang of today, I should point out that I didn’t mean ‘awesome’ when I said ‘sick.’

I followed WWF straight through its transition to WWE, because it was all that was left to watch after WCW closed. Eventually, I got bored. Life happened, high school happened, and I outgrew wrestling without realizing it. A few years later, I felt nostalgic and decided to get back into it. Two thousand bootleg DVDs later (I kid you not) I was a bigger fan than ever before, and a walking tome of wrestling knowledge of past and present.

My interest slowed down again, however, as the ‘PG’ era began. I initially thought that the problem was a lack of middle fingers and profanity, but it isn’t that simple. I recently watched WWE’s Randy Savage collection, and had an epiphany.

Randy Savage & Miss Elizabeth

Rewind to the 1980s. Randy Savage reveals his groundbreaking female manager, Miss Elizabeth. One of wrestling’s greatest long-running storylines begins. A storyline that lived on straight through to the days of the New World Order, where it slowly died and was forgotten. Call it a soap opera, call it corny, call it lame. But I call it the example that proves every fan wrong. The Randy Savage & Miss Elizabeth duo was very family friendly, but was appealing to fans of every age. There was little to no blood in Randy Savage’s matches, no unprotected chair shots, and no middle fingers. There was nothing that would make a parent embarrassed to be watching with their children, and there was nothing that would embarrass children, should an adult walk in.

Scripting, Kayfabe, and why PG Content is NOT Killing Wrestling

Many say that a problem with current wrestling is its scripted nature. Well, Randy Savage’s matches were phenomenal, yet he had a reputation for being very anal about scripting his matches move-for-move. Scripting is OK. What’s not OK is having the scripting done by people who lack a good mind for the wrestling business. Not allowing performers to improvise and perform organically, both in the ring and on the microphone, is killing wrestling. It’s perfectly fine to have a family friendly product, but when your wrestlers are actors reciting lines, it loses its believability, and the so-called suspension of belief required is thrown right out of the window. We are in the Age of the Internet, not the Age of Orton. Kayfabe is dead, and the suspension of belief is more important than ever. The stars need to be good enough to convince the fans–who know it’s fake–that it’s a compelling enough battle to warrant buying a pay-per-view. When you rely on spots rather than words, it has a greater chance of becoming repetitive. There are more different ways to uniquely cut  promos that are all pretty much the same, but different enough to stand out than there are ways to punt someone in the head or execute an ‘RKO.’

The Miss Elizabeth example can also be used to point out that there are barely any managers anymore. Guys like Jim Cornette, Jimmy Hart, and Bobby Heenan were CRUCIAL for utilizing the wrestlers who were solid performers but might not have been the best on the microphone. Savage was the opposite. He was SO GOOD on the microphone that he got himself a manager communicated visually rather than through speech. The look on her face on any given day spoke a thousand words, so she never had to say anything. After all, Savage talked enough for both of them.

Blood is not the answer. T&A is not the answer. Chairs are definitely not the answer.

Basic storytelling and freedom is the answer. If you think otherwise, you’re entitled to that opinion, but you’ve either forgotten or never knew what wrestling truly was meant to be. I’m not saying that anything other than the days of Bruno Sammartino is garbage. What I’m saying is there are basic fundamentals of wrestling that we have strayed way too far from, and we need to gradually return to that. WWE’s emphasis is on production and a bottom line; quantity over quality. It’s a business, and I understand that. But your business will lose its customer base if you don’t return to an emphasis on quality.

It seems now that their emphasis has shifted towards Linda McMahon running for senate, with their livelihood, professional wrestling, pushed aside. What a disgrace. It’s amazing how my opinions can do a 180 overnight after a few actions by World Wrestling Entertainment in their quest for world domination. (Well, a quest for domination of a single seat in the United States Senate.) It’s been said that the switch to PG programming was a public relations move to ready Linda McMahon for politics. In addition, their ‘Stand Up for WWE’ campaign was another way to corral their fans into the polling stations, and it’s sickening. But I will leave that for another article.

Linda McMahon has lost, and many think we will see the return of the ‘attitude era.’ Wrong, and I’m tired of hearing about it. You may think that things are terrible, and I do too. But is it really terrible? Fans from the 80s probably thought the 90s content was horrible. We, as products of the 90s, think the late 00s, early 10s product is horrible. What will current fans think in ten or twenty years? “Man, I miss old school wrestling with John Cena and Randy Orton.”

WWE isn’t in the dire straits you think they are.

WWE is doing great right now. Whether we all like it or not, they get solid ratings, for a show that’s been on for so damn long. Merchandise sales are still pretty high, and their output of old-school DVDs and memorabilia is increasing, leading to even more sales from nostalgic 80s and 90s fans. We may think it’s all garbage, but there’s a generation out there who absolutely LOVES it. However, that being said, the WWE they are growing to love is not really ‘wrestling’ in a traditional sense. It shares the fundamentals of good versus evil, champions, flashy characters, and ‘finishing manuevers,’ but even those are becoming more and more watered down.

Before anyone asks, TNA has tons of problems themselves, so it’s not just WWE. But if WWE doesn’t start trying, real soon, they may have to start defending their spot as the number one sports entertainment promotion in the world, once again. When the “CENAtion” matures and a lot of their favorite stars head to Floridian refuge for a lighter schedule and a safer future, TNA just might start gaining ground.

What are your thoughts on Randy Savage’s PG era versus ours?

Young lion Mick Foley takes on grizzled veteran Ric Flair..... I kid; it was actually pretty awesome.

Well, at least it was live on Thursday night. I’m not sure if you can consider it live if you wait until the next night to watch it.

1:00: Dixie Carter’s notes on running a wrestling promotion: Handguns trump 2x4s covered in nails. Remember to hire better security or police.

1:05: More from Dixie: Remember to pick up bread, milk, and research local acting schools.

2:35: Abyss stands somewhat in the crowd (he’s kind of wandering around, goes to show how ‘packed’ it is) rambling about ‘them.’ Must be boring for the fans who can’t hear him, since he’s not miked, and even worse for those who can.

4:00: “Bob” makes his Impact debut, Murphy and Gunner run down for a staredown against Bob and Janice. Bischoff joins, and apparently he’s more effective than bullets, as Abyss lets Carter go. This isn’t even the slightest bit entertaining or amusing.

7:00 skipping forward, Grumpy Old Men and Pope are in the ring. Calls Bischoff a “no good son-of-a-Bischoff.” Nice.

9:30 Apparently something big is happening at Bound for Glory. Continuing the tradition of being vague in the hope of padding pay-per-view buys.

11:00: Skipping forward… Stink takes the mic, (see what I did there?) More vague hype. 13:00: I stopped paying attention. Hogan hospital footage. Maybe the big news for 10/10/10 will be Hogan coming back. Ugh. To do nothing. What a steamer that’ll be.

19:30: Dudleys have something big planned… unless it’s them going to WWE, I don’t care.

25:00: Four corners match booked for the Knockout title, with MICKEY James debuting as the special referee. Not to be confused with Mickey Rourke, Mickey Rooney, Mickey Avalon, or Mickey Mouse. AWESOME, but put her in the match! Anticlimactic debut, considering referees don’t usually sell pay-per-views. (I know… Jesse Ventura and Muhammad Ali called.. and.. well, you get it.)

29:00 Foley promo. No comment needed.

32:00 Grumpier Old Men hit the ring, and Ric Flair’s last match* is up next, versus Mick Foley! (*-as of this week).

37:00 It’s a bloodbath, and Flair can STILL GO. Pulling out thumbtacks is a bit questionable, and taking a back body drop onto them is even more questionable. As a longtime fan I worry for his health and well-being, but according to Flair, he still feels ‘great.’ And damn it, the 28374 time champ can make his own decisions, I think. They’re going a bit too far, here, though. If you need to rely on blood and shock value to get your match over, it’s time to hang em’ up.

41:50: Flair takes to the top rope and hits a splash on Foley through a table. Old man flop time, and Flair can’t beat the ten count. Weird ending, but it’s TNA, and it was a damn good match. My only complaint is that it serves no real purpose as they aren’t wrestling at Bound for Glory. This was easily a pay-per-view caliber match, and was the reason I decided to watch the show in the first place.

44:30: I stand corrected, there was a point: Foley’s Kiss My Ass club. “The fighting is over; let the kissing begin.” Out of context, that’d be… “one of those out of context wrestling moments.” Fortune/EV2 brawl.

49:50: Eric Bischoff comes out for a promo, and the Foley-Flair debris is still in the ring. Nice touch. I’m hoping for a Dixie thumbtack bump, but it’s doubtful.

51:10: RVD’s music hits, and I couldn’t be less interested. Rob comes out and says, “oh, it’s not the monster, it’s Rob Van Dam!” as if the music didn’t give it away. Perhaps the Impact Zone is a silent disco? Random mention of my friend’s blog. Ain’t it purdy?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HqY9Ie74v8 54:15: Eric Young’s career goal is to get into Pro Wrestling Illustrated? Better chance getting into WrestleCrap alongside Billy & Chuck. Young/Jordan vs Ink Inc. Skip… Eric Young had the same idea, as he forfeits the match and challenges Ink Inc to a match at Bound for Glory. In the words of Tony Schiavonne, “THAT’LL put butts in seats.”

1:03:50: TNA Cribs moment, Jay Lethal shows off his favorite tree and his non-pimped-out mini-van. I wish I was making this up.
I saw maybe a quarter of a second of the “Shore” segment, and I’m not going back to get a timestamp.

1:15:00 Gauntlet-style battle royal (in layman’s terms, a half-assed Royal Rumble) for $100,000 is the main event, featuring all of TNA’s main eventers, right off the bat. Angle wins on the overrun on Reaction.

Flair cuts a backstage promo, Kazarian displays the shocker… Oh, that’s their hand sign thingamabob. I think I’ve got a new theme song for Fortune:

It was worth a download for Flair vs Foley but it doesn’t make me want to see the pay-per-view, as Flair and Foley won’t officially be on it. Reaction is worth downloading for Flair’s promo alone.

Nitro. Not quite old-school, but still lodged in our 'memory banks.'

NOTE: This article no longer has the video caps I originally took. Kindly use your imagination, and offer a friendly one-finger-salute to the people who hacked International Objects in October of 2011. You’re number one!

Live from Asheville, NC, World Championship wrestling brought us another edition of Monday Nitro. Hosted by the announce team of Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbysko, the night showcased some great undercard matches and ongoing development of the New World Order takeover after the fallout of War Games 1996.

The card opened with a classic lucha showdown between two familiar masked stars for the Cruiserweight Championship: Rey Mysterio Jr and Juventud Guerrera. In usual WCW fashion, Tony Schiavone spent most of the match talking about ‘more important things’ rather than the match at hand: Big Bubba and Glacier would be appearing later on. Rey Mysterio Jr wins the match and hangs onto the belt.

Next up was a match between Diamond Dallas Page and Ice Train, who was accompanied to the ring by a younger (and heavier) Theodore Long. Sports entertainment finish here, but something I haven’t seen in recent years. Diamond Dallas Page wins by throwing in Ice Train’s towel, and referee Nick Patrick thought Ice Train was quitting.

More lucha action next, as Super Calo challenges Konnan for the ‘Mexican Championship.’ Oh, WCW. (It’s AAA‘s world title.) Konnan is working both promotions at the time, as a member of Jimmy Hart’s “Dungeon of Doom.” I was always a fan of Konnan’s work growing up, as he soon will/would join the New World Order and eventually split off into the Wolfpac.

Hugh Morrus and Brad Armstrong is up next, but I can’t imagine a single person cared, even in 1996 when Armstrong might have been vaguely relevant. Hour two starts with a Randy Savage interview, and Savage competing against Scott Norton. Norton is one of those guys who, looking back, was booked well and performed well. He came off as a brick wall, and I remember being a little bit worried he’d destroy Rey Jr when they fought. I believe that was in 1998. Norton wins by disqualification, as Savage snaps with a steel chair.

Match of the year 1996: Big Bubba takes on Glacier. I can’t say I ever, ever liked Glacier.

Pre-crow Sting is in the ring for a promo, which is something I missed out on the first time around since I started watching in 1998. Sting is having problems with tag partner Lex Luger, and is considering walking out of WCW in storyline. I think this was around the time they were planting the seeds for the crow gimmick.

Before Chris Jericho was someone, he was Buff Bagwell’s tag team partner. Well, at least on this night. Teaming against Flair and Arn, this was a great new school versus old school match-up. To Bagwell’s credit, Flair said in his shoot interview that he is a great guy, had a great look, and he really liked working with Bagwell. Of course, no matter how good the match was, it was less important than the New World Order, as they cut away to a parking lot skit with the NWO and NWO Sting. Right in the middle of the match! I guess it’s realistic that anything can happen at any time, even during matches, but it takes away from the match in progress. You don’t just cut away from a Ric Flair match.

The main event was Mongo McMichael and Chris Benoit versus Lex Luger and Sting, but Sting was a no-show. The match is thrown out after a Four Horsemen beatdown, and Sting is still a no-show. The NWO announces their sixth member, Syxx.

A lot of this was wrestlecrap-worthy, but it’s still better than anything WWE puts on these days in terms of storylines.

THQ recently announced most of the roster for WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2011. With over 70 stars, it’s one of the largest rosters to date in a wrestling game.

WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2011 Roster by brand:

The game’s official website lists seven open slots for names that have not yet been announced, presumably Daniel Bryan or other last-minute additions. Three legends have been confirmed:

• Bret Hart (Best Buy pre-order)
• Allied Powers: Lex Luger & British Bulldog (downloadable)

Seven slots in the legends section remain open as well, so let the speculation begin.

WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2011 Downloadable Content (DLC)

Downloadable content packs were announced, and it is speculated they will be around 800 MS points or $9.99 on the PlayStation Network. Pack 1 will be free for first-time buyers as part of the current effort of the gaming industry to combat the sales of used games. Buyers of pre-owned copies will have the option of purchasing pack 1.

NXT Arena will be in DLC Pack 2.

Pack 1

• Online access
• Chris Masters
• Rey Mysterio & Kelly Kelly Halloween-themed costumes

Pack 2

• Lex Luger
• Davey Boy Smith
• Wade Barrett
• David Otunga
• Justin Gabriel
• Layla
• NXT Arena
• Alternate attire for Shad Gaspard, Shawn Michaels

WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2011 DLC Pack 3 has not yet been announced. It’s possible that pack 3 may include come combination of the following. If I remember correctly, Stone Cold was a pre-order bonus last year, but was made available as a $1 download. Tidbit from the future: It was a WCW Nitro Arena & more.

WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2011 Pre-Order Bonuses:

I can’t imagine not having the option to obtain all of these add-ons, and the Troops arena would be a nice addition to have, so I’d expect it to be downloadable content later in some form. Some sites are reporting Batista as a member of the roster but this seems to be a false rumor.

WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2011 Features

The box cover for the United States release of WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2011.

Perhaps the biggest feature is “WWE Universe.” Career mode is gone, and merged into exhibition mode. It will make more sense when we have the chance to play it ourselves, but it sounds like THQ is taking a page from 2K Sports’ book by offering fans generated events to play. The difference, however, is 2K Sports games let you play along with a currently happening season. The WWE world is far too complex to ‘play along’ with in a video game, so a new set of unique ‘programming’ is generated on-the-fly for you based on your stables, rivalries, and rankings settings. You don’t have to play these and you can tweak them any way you want, but it’s nice that you have the option of retelling the stories of WWE yourself. You can sim through events and the game will generate allies and enemies, winners and losers, and loads relevant cut scenes. You can play as one superstar or multiple, and guide them through their rise (or decline) through the rankings.

If you don’t like this concept, you can turn it off and have the traditional exhibition options back. Or, you can play the pre-set storylines in Road to WrestleMania, including a ‘versus Undertaker’ storyline that lets you attempt to pin the undefeated Dead Man on the grand stage. Road to WrestleMania has free-roam, allowing you to run into other wrestlers backstage for interactions relevant to the storyline. Your actions affect the direction of your story, but if you make a mistake, it’s OK. There is a new ‘time machine’ feature that allows you to roll back the game.

There are a ton of minor enhancements and features that won’t make or break the game, but will add a little to the overall experience:

• BLOOD. WWE may be PG-friendly, but this game will have blood! It’s just turned off by default. So before you start a brutal Hell in a Cell match, you may want to check the match settings first!
• Item retrieval (briefcase, belt) system revamped
• Finishers from ladders
• All moves can be performed through nearby weapons (ladders, tables)
• Tree of woe position
• Hell in a Cell revamped: break-through cage wall, weapons under the ring, finishing maneuvers from the top of the cage
• Tie-up mini-games
• Key moments are automatically recorded during matches for ‘highlight reel’ viewing post-match
• Community creations can be edited, if the author allows it, meaning you can add entrance music to your downloads.

WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2011: The best one yet?

I’m not going to say yes, because I haven’t played it yet. It’s looking to be a serious contender, however. I’m still playing Smackdown: Here Comes the Pain for Playstation 2 and have had every game since that. I’ve gotten rid of every game since that, too, however. Nothing has had the staying power like Here Comes the Pain, but this game might. The feature I hope to see most is a history of wins and losses for each wrestler throughout the WWE Universe mode, including computer generated match-ups. Surprisingly, Smackdown vs Raw looks to be a must-buy for once.

This is old news now, but how do you think WWE Smackdown vs Raw 2011 compares to WWE 12 or WWE 13?

Styles saw Dreamer drivin' 'round town with a girl he loves, and was like, "fork you."

No Surrender:
First off, No Surrender 2010 was a pretty good pay-per-view. Spoiler alert: here’s a breakdown of the results and my thoughts on each:

1. Motor City Machine Guns def. Generation Me, Tag Team Championship
   Originally this match was supposed to be the Guns versus London Brawling, but they were pulled out due to ‘personal reasons.’ Generation Me subbed in for what would easily be the match of the night, and turned heel afterwards. Max and Jeremy are currently in a program with the Guns, so I wonder if this was the plan from the start?
2. Douglas Williams def. Sabu, X Division Championship
   I was looking forward to this match mostly due to the contrast in styles. Williams retains in a decent match and Sabu can STILL GO. I hope he’s careful and planning to retire soon, though, as I doubt his body can take many more years of his high-risk style.
3. Velvet Sky def. Madison Rayne
   It seems a bit odd to have a Knockouts match on pay-per-view without the title being involved, but given that they have the highest rated angle going on, why not?
4. Abyss def. Rhino, Falls Count Anywhere match
   I didn’t pay much attention to this match as I didn’t have a very high interest level in it, but I did catch the part where they were fighting under the stage and Rhino was thrown through a ‘perforated’ wall in the base of the stage. I wasn’t a fan.
5. Jarrett/Samoa Joe def Sting/Nash
   I’m not a big fan of this angle, though I am vaguely intrigued as far as where they plan to take this. As much as I hate making this comparison, it unfortunately reeks of 2000 WCW ‘worked-shoot’ Russo segments. I guess I don’t like it as much this time around since I’ve become an ‘internet fan,’ so I’m immune to the edginess of that type of angle.
6. AJ Styles def Tommy Dreamer, I Quit match.
   Not too many comments on this one. Physically, AJ Styles is the Shawn Michaels of TNA, and can work a good match with anyone. A good way to get heel heat is to stick a fork in someone’s eye. The 2010 equivalent to breaking Dusty Rhodes’ arm after a parking lot ambush. The lovable, blue-collar fat guy gets beaten down by the Horsemen. I suppose it’s a sad time when the Dusty Rhodes of your era is Tommy Dreamer.
   Sidenote: AJ’s TV Title was not on the line, does this mean it’s literally just a title for television broadcasts?
7. Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy went to a no contest, World Championship tournament semi-final match.
   Great match despite Jeff Hardy botching his spots and Angle attempting spots when he doesn’t need to do moonsaults to be over. Extending the time limit only to extend it a second time defies the logic of just having the match go on until there’s a winner, but it reminds me too that sometimes we shouldn’t ‘over think’ and be so critical. It was well-planned, well-executed, and it went over well with the crowd.
8. Mr Anderson def. D’Angelo Dinero, World Championship tournament semi-final match.
   Great match with a win-win scenario, as either will make a great world champion if and when that day comes. Anderson’s post-match banter was very entertaining too. Anderson posed in all four corners, and dare I say it was reminiscent of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin’s post-match celebrations.

Storylines

• Fortune vs EV 2.0: I’m enjoying it, to a degree. I like how Foley was ‘sidelined’ and replaced with Brian Kendrick, in an effort to put a younger talent in the spotlight. A smart move for sure. I’m a big supporter of the Fortune stable concept overall, although I think AJ Styles and Kazarian should have been switched out for Doug Williams and Desmonde Wolfe, with Wolfe taking the lead role. Beer Money is spot-on and the perfect fit as the Budweiser Wrecking Crew.
• Jarrett vs Nash & Sting: Like I said, I’m not a fan, even with Sting being my favorite wrestler of all-time. It does however give an opportunity to address the issue so many internet fans have been whining about since the late 90s: Nash ‘phoning it in’ and making millions. Samoa Joe seems to be thrown into the mix for no reason other than not having anything else going for him. Jarrett, I think it’s safe to say, has been on our television screens enough to last us the next 20 years.
• Beautiful People: Let’s face it, whether it’s one big group, or two pairs (I’m talking about the Knockouts, not their ‘assets’) feuding against each other, it’s going to be good and will probably continue being TNA’s highest rated program. I’m curious to see what they have planned for Tara, though the suspense is dieing down, as most fans knew the masked Knockout was Tara about a month in advance. That is the problem with reading rumors and spoilers: it takes a lot of enjoyment out it for you as a fan.
• Christopher Abysstopher: I’ve never been a fan of Abyss, really, so I tend to be a little bored whenever he’s on my screen. I’m not a fan of hardcore wrestling or high-risk stuff, so a lot of his work doesn’t interest me. The Black Hole Slam is a good-looking finisher, though, but that’s about it. I am really curious about who “they” are, though.
• Hogan: Sadly, the ‘immortal’ Hulk Hogan has really overstayed his welcome in TNA. He hasn’t really brought much to the brand other than canned promos where he regurgitates the same compliments to the locker room show after show in Hoganspeak: “Well you know something, DUDES, we have the best locker room in the back, BROTHERS, and all you TNA Maniacs, BROTHER, make me feel at home.” That’s nice and all, but we’ve been hearing the same thing week after week. Just substitute ‘locker room’ for EV2.0 or the No Surrender main eventers. And then there’s this:

Breaking out of jail http://twitvid.com/5S0ET
@HulkHogan

• Why TNA would want to associate themselves with someone who’s going to film themselves taking a dump–Hulkster or not–is beyond me. But to Hulk’s credit, he does a lot of shit on Twitter. Pardon the expletive; I saw an opportunity for a pun. While trying to find that tweet, I had to wade through pages and pages of tweets all mentioning specific fans and followers. For someone who seems to be rather inaccessible outside of the ring (I mean, it’s Hulk Hogan, you won’t be seeing him signing autographs for $5 at your local indy show) he seems to be extremely interactive with his fans through Twitter.
• Disclaimer on Hulk Hogan: Through all the ups and downs, however critical some of us may be, it’s still HULK HOGAN we’re talking about here. The Hulk Hogan who gives you goosebumps the second you hear Real American–or even American Made. I like Hogan. I grew up hating him–80s Hogan was way before my time–but over the years I’ve learned like everyone else that there probably wouldn’t have been a “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, a Rock, or a John Cena without Hogan. But Hulkster, BROTHER, your promos lately sure are steamers.

Kevin Nash:

Kevin Nash has been on a tirade on Twitter lately, and while I don’t know all of the details, it’s been interesting:

@helen1509 @WEarly1977 @WE It’s fake dumd fuck put 50 k on the line and see who beats me , now hurry the short bus just pulled up outside
@RealKevinNash

RVD said Jeff hardy and him are rock stars ,in my prime I was selling out 30’000 plus seat domes they can’t draw 1000 on the road .WTF
@RealKevinNash

I will work out my TNA contract anbd see what life brings me ,to my fans I love you and words can never explain what you mean to me.
@RealKevinNash

Nash is another pro-wrestler-turned-tweeter who is very vocal in communicating with his fans (and critics). Despite not liking the current angle he’s working in TNA, I hope he doesn’t go. Granted he’s not being used too much, but he’s good to have around as a familiar face. If TNA were to launch a second broadcast program, Nash would be great for color commentary and occasional matches.

People say Nash ‘phones it in’ and is in it for the paycheck, which is most likely where the current angle came from, but I think it’s a phony claim. Nash is a big-man type worker, and if he’s slow-moving, it’s because he’s supposed to be. Even in his prime, Nash didn’t move that fast, really, because it would have made no sense to do so. Supposedly, Nash didn’t go to WWE because they wanted him to dye his hair. If he was in it for the money, wouldn’t he have dyed his hair and cashed the checks? Kudos to Nash for not selling out.

As far as Nash drawing and filling domes, I can’t really argue or support that because I’m no expert on gate figures. What I do think, though, is we are long past the era of individuals being the draw. Promotions now draw as an entire brand, as opposed to Hulk Hogan or Bruno Sammartino being the major selling point on a card. So while I can’t support or really argue Nash being the sole draw for the 30,000 person dome shows, I can at least offer two points of support.

• Jeff Hardy was part of a drawing brand, and never a sole draw. He never will be. He’s terrible on the microphone and is getting worse and worse in the ring. He’s getting slower compared to 7-8 years ago, which is fine, but he’s still trying to work the exact same matches. Sooner or later he’s going to hurt himself or someone else. Without his sloppy high-risk spots he has nothing to fall back on, so unless he can learn to work a decent match without them, I wouldn’t to see him still going ten years from now.
• Nash and Sting together drew one fan in particular: me. Back in 1998, I became a fan, and would rush home from school on Tuesdays to watch the Nitro tape from Monday night’s broadcast. My first two wrestling t-shirts: Nash and Sting. As I recall, Nash worked pretty much the same style matches back then, too. Twelve years later, he’s still doing it, and ironically will probably outlast Jeff Hardy if he chooses to stay in the business. Nash was also the first shoot interview I watched.

One more thing: Jeff Hardy doesn’t have the charisma to properly sell a finger-poke. If Hardy’s a Rock Star, he’s Warrant, or some other hair band that had a limited shelf life. The old WCW crew, though, they’re the Rolling Stones.

Overrated? Maybe.

Sick of him/them? You could be.

But it’s still the Stones, man.

It’s still Hulk Hogan, it’s still Sting, and it’s still Diesel.

All comments, retweets, and ‘likes,’ are welcome. Don’t forget to Like International Objects on Facebook!

Alberto Del Rio: easily a future world champion. But you already knew that.

I admit, I’ve been slacking like Owen Hart performing piledrivers. I haven’t really been keeping up with current wrestling as well as I normally would (which isn’t that well anyway) so I didn’t really have much to offer as far as articles go. I’ve been paying enough attention, however, to offer at least a little insight, thought, and opinion on the current state of professional soap opera’ing in the squared circle.

WWE
World Wrestling Entertainment is slowly on an upswing. The Nexus angle is slowing down but is still going strong, and ‘internet darlings’ Bryan Danielson and Low Ki are settling in with WWE as their new home. Rumor has it that they are planning to unify the title belts, starting with the Divas’ division’s titles at Night of Champions. There could be a number of reasons behind this that could have to do with booking strategies or simple marketing. New tag team belts means new merchandise, and we can probably expect the same from the other belts.

Daniel Bryan is upset that you haven't bought the Best of American Dragon from RudoReels.com.

Raw:
It’s looking like Daniel Bryan–who returned at SummerSlam–will be getting a decent push as United States Champion. That is, if he beats Miz at Night of Champions. This will take the belt off of the Raw Money in the Bank holder, to free him up for his own mega-push. Miz has been on fire in promos and has been representing the company alongside WWE’s current top face Diva, Eve, doing promotional work for Smackdown vs Raw 2011. Win-win situation all around, and hopefully we’ll get Daniel Bryan into a program with William Regal. It’s likely he will be working with Dolph Ziggler, though, to coincide with the title unification plans.

The main event picture is working out to be a crap-shoot at Night of Champions, with a six-way match planned to determine the fate of Sheamus’s WWE Championship. Son-of-Hellman’s defends against former champions John Cena, Randy Orton, Edge, newcomer and Nexus leader Wade Barrett, and an unnamed 5th opponent. The open spot will probably be revealed on Raw, and my guess is that it will be Triple H, to boost pay-per-view buys. If it is kept a mystery, the open spot will probably an upper midcarder who only main events as a ‘fill-in,’ like R-Truth.

Bret Hart, please go away. Your ‘matches’ are taking airtime away from young stars who could really benefit from the exposure, as the WWE machine desperately attempts to crank out new stars. I’m a longtime fan, and admire your will to make a comeback, but this isn’t TNA.

People still like this?

Smackdown:
It’s 1998 all over again as Kane defends his World Heavyweight Championship against the Undertaker. It was cool when I was in middle school, and I’m sure it’s cool for middle-schoolers right now, but it’s going to be a sad day when the blowoff match is in a bloodless, PG-rated Hell in a Cell match.

I have a hard time caring about Smackdown at all due to the main event picture, but there are two guys that I can’t help but have to watch: CM Punk and Alberto Del Rio. Punk is the verbal King Midas of WWE. Every promo is gold, and his in-ring talent is off the charts. I would have liked to have seen the Straight Edge Society stable last a lot longer, but it looks like it’s slowing down, if not coming to an end. Alberto Del Rio is a runner-up to the Midas crown, even being such a new star (to American audiences). His persona is a JBL and Eddie Guerrero hybrid: The Mexican JBL, with enough charisma to make him worthy of comparison to the former world champions.

Kofi Kingston is still feuding with Dolph Ziggler… and I could care less, so I have no comments on the matter. I thought they were going to pull the trigger with Kofi when he feuded with Randy Orton, but I guess not. He’s back under the proverbial glass ceiling.

NXT:
Kaval wins season two. Fantastic! I didn’t watch any of season two, but I’ve always enjoyed Low Ki’s matches in other promotions. Clips I’ve seen of his pairing with the LayCool duo is pretty entertaining, too. I could not care less about Season 3.

Divas division unification:
Speaking of LayCool, the Womens’ title will be unified with the Divas’ title at Night of Champions, as Melina faces either Layla or Michelle McCool in a ‘lumberjill’ match. It doesn’t really matters who wins, if  they are planning on introducing a brand new belt. If they plan to use the winner’s existing belt, I’m rooting for LayCool. The Womens’ belt may be cut in half but it’s still better than representing the careers of Fabulous Moolah, Trish Stratus, and Alundra Blayze with a freakin’ butterfly. Given that LayCool argues a lot lately, and there are two members, the ‘unification’ could really turn into two belts for LayCool: one for each member, leading to a real unification match between the two.

That’s all I have to say about WWE, for now. Look for my next article with my thoughts on TNA. Comments are welcome and encouraged–I like a good discussion.

ECW: The promotion that just won't die.

The internet is buzzing with TNA’s latest plan: another ECW tribute show. The angle has been brewing for weeks now, starting with Tommy Dreamer appearing in the crowd at the Impact Zone, and returning with ECW alumni at his side. Most recently, the “ECW Originals” jumped the railing and began a brawl against the TNA roster. That broadcast of Impact ended with Dixie Carter telling the roster, “Stop! I invited them.”

The next broadcast ended with an ‘explanation’ segment and Dreamer requesting to have one last shot for the ECW cronies to shine. Carter agreed, under one condition: Dreamer has full control. No TNA, just ECW.

The problem with something like this buzzing through the internet is the tendency of internet wrestling fans to over-analyze and criticize every little thing. Now, to be fair, putting your hard-working roster completely on-hold to have one last grasp on the glory days of a long-defunct promotion isn’t great business.

Let’s be realistic, though: TNA fans won’t forget Samoa Joe. They won’t forget Motor City Machine Guns. They won’t forget the Beautiful People. I’m sure the TNA roster approves, in the first place, as ECW was a source of inspiration for many of today’s wrestling names, current and up-and-coming.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5eENU19p9Y&feature=fvst For those dreading this as a business move: relax. TNA has done far worse in the past as far as business decisions go.

• Bubba the Love Sponge
• Sean Waltman
• Nasty Boys
• Val Venis

If I was to play devil’s advocate and try to give the smarks another reason to ease off, I’d say Hogan and Bischoff, too. TNA is about to deliver a quality pay-per view, and people are complaining. I can tell you one thing: the event will not feature a major wrestling star choking on a magic Hall of Fame ring. Be happy.

So far, two names (other than those who appeared on Impact already) are confirmed: Jerry Lynn and Johnny Swinger. Swinger is the former tag-team partner of TNA agent Simon Diamond, both in ECW and TNA. Jerry Lynn had high-profile feud with Rob Van Dam in ECW, and wrestled in the first match TNA ever put on in a six-man tag team match against The Flying Elvises. Coincidentally, Lynn also wrestled in the first ROH on HDNet match, if you don’t count the pre-show. It’s 2010, but Lynn and planned opponent Rob Van Dam can still perform as well as the best, so it should be great. There has been no news so far if it will be for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.

Al Snow is listed on the HardCORE Justice website, despite his look of shock when Dixie Carter initially announced that she invited the ECW crowd. In a worked backstage shot of Dixie reprimanding the agents for getting involved, Snow was present. This isn’t a big deal at all, but the inconsistency gave me a chuckle.

Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney have recently confirmed their appearance in a tag team match at the pay-per view. It’s worth noting that although neither are confirmed, both Sandman and Sabu appear in the promo for the event. Hopefully the hardcore stuff doesn’t go too far as a lot of these guys are pretty broken down as it is, and it is reported that talent is getting $500-1000 for appearing.

In the end, I don’t think this is a bad thing, but this had better be the actual “last” time they do this. Sure, it’s short-sighted. No, it’s not ‘dragging the ECW name through the mud.’ WWE didn’t do that either. ECW are just letters, and the fans should move on. Allow yourself to enjoy the product for once rather than be so critical. I for one am looking forward to seeing this upcoming week’s Impact broadcast as it should begin to set up the match between Lynn and Van Dam.

The WWE Raw dysfunctional family of ChrisJericho, Sheamus, Edge, Randy Orton, and John Cena teams up to face the Nexus.

I really enjoyed Raw this week. Normally I can’t stand it, but it really was a solid show. I don’t know if it’s because they are beginning to build up hard for their second-biggest show of the year, SummerSlam, but whatever. It’s working.

The picture at the left is from a future Raw. I lost my picture database so future-me re-added pics to the archives. (Just go with it!)

The show started with a high-octane, pay-per-view caliber triple threat match between Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, and Edge to determine Sheamus’s opponent at SummerSlam. For free TV, it was a damn good match, and it was followed up with  a great altercation involving Nexus and the ‘odd couple’ of Edge and Jericho. Jericho called out Edge, and they were either hinting at an all-out feud or the formation of a team. I’m not really sure. Either way, they tried to out-heel eachother by claiming that they could lead Nexus.

Nexus’ music hits, and they deliver a beatdown to Edge. Jericho puts Edge in the Walls of Jericho and realizes Nexus wants him, too. Jericho takes a beatdown of his own. Another great Nexus angle that showcases the young stars. WWE is doing a fantastic job of creating seven menacing young stars, seemingly out of thin air.

Meanwhile, Sheamus calls for a truce with the group, and John Cena teases joining them or calling for a truce of his own. If I hadn’t read the spoilers ahead of time, I would have been on the edge of my seat, wondering it that was the day John Cena finally turned heel.

Eve Torres vs Maryse: A forgettable divas match (there’s a redundant statement if I’ve ever heard one) despite Maryse being pretty hard to forget in general… Ted DiBiase Jr & John Morrison altercation. Rumor has it that Melina will be back soon to re-pair with Morrison against DiBiase and Maryse. I can’t wait. (Seriously!)

Sheamus cuts a promo about his truce with Nexus, and Miz interrupts. Awesome, awesome promo; no pun intended. The anonymous GM books an impromtu match for Sheamus against Evan Bourne, which Sheamus wins with ease, as expected. Miz, at ringside throughout the match, runs in and knocks Sheamus out cold. He ‘cashes in’ for a title shot, but quickly takes the briefcase back when R-Truth runs in for the save.

If you don’t like The Miz, you might as well stop watching WWE, because he is a future main event fixture.

But…damn, I couldn’t possibly hate R-Truth more than I already do.

Right time for me to get bucked! The right time for me to get crunk! The right time for me to step it up,,knuckle up,,and blow the roof up!!
@RonKillings

“@RonKillings: Right time for me to get bucked! The right time for me to get crunk!” right time for you to STFU already.
@LIBERT4D

That was honestly the nicest way I could put that. Why do I follow him, anyway?

I’m assuming a Miz/R-Truth feud will follow. This could be good or bad.

The Good:

• More Miz matches
• If Miz loses the US Title, it could be a sign he will be successful when he cashes in.

The Bad:

• More “What’s Up?”
• If Miz loses the title, it could be a sign he will also lose when he cashes in, as part of an ultimate blowoff to him being such a jackass of a heel. I mean jackass in a really good way.
• I will be very worried if R-Truth challenges Miz for the briefcase
• R-Truth as WWE Champion… on that note, I think I’ll stop talking about this.

Wade Barrett lifts Mark Henry onto his shoulders for a Wasteland. Impressive, no?

Wade Barrett vs World’s Strongest Man on a Mission: Mark “Big Daddy M” Henry as the main event. Props to Barrett for lifting old porky onto his shoulders, but he nearly killed the guy when he dropped him. Barrett get the win over a former Royal Rumble main eventer. Cue the Nexus, and cue Cena. Nexus turns down Cena’s truce and asks him to join. Cena declines, and brings out his team who will face the seven rookies at SummerSlam.

The team is everyone you’d expect; most of them have been ambushed by the rebel group in the past. John Morrison, Edge, Chris Jericho, Great Khali, R-Truth, Cena. The best was saved for last, literally. The best there is, was, and ever will be, Bret Hart, will be number seven in Cena’s team to take on Nexus at SummerSlam.

Part of me is really excited to see Bret Hart, period. Hearing the guitar wail that cues his entrance signifies that greatness is in the making, just because of his history. However, part of me wants to do a good, old-fashioned ‘facepalm,’ because the more they go to the Bret Hart well, the faster it’ll run dry. He shouldn’t be wrestling again, and he probably shouldn’t be doing promos, either. I was content with his final match being a win for the US Title, but now it will (for now) be in a 14-man tag team bout.

This could be good, because Bret can work the whole match without actually getting involved other than punches and kicks, and the rest of the team can take the bumps, setting Hart up to finish with the Sharpshooter. I’m saying “ughhh” but looking forward to it at the same time.

Side note: PWMania.com is reporting that Ricky Steamboat was originally planned to be Cena’s surprise ‘legend.’ Obviously those plans were nixed due to Steamboat’s recent health scare, which is a shame from the fans’ perspective because Steamboat can still work matches.

Ricky Steamboat still hospitalized. Stable, improving, & hopes 2 b out of hospital this week. More good days than bad.
@JRsBBQ

By the end of the broadcast, two big matches were confirmed for SummerSlam:

• Sheamus vs Randy Orton (WWE Title)
• Team Cena vs Nexus (7 on 7)

All in all, I’m looking forward to it. Are you?

be the first to admit being wrong about this event. Well, mostly wrong. It looked bad on paper, and I had no interest in seeing it. The Money in the Bank matches just didn’t look ‘right’ for some reason, and the championship matches had even less appeal. I mean, Randy Orton in a Money in the Bank match? Weird. I don’t approve of ‘gimmick pay-per-views’ and having three Money in the Bank matches in a single year makes a world championship opportunity mean yes. But…anyway…

First of all, the Money in the Bank matches WORKED. They turned out far better than I expected, and by the time the Smackdown match was through, I felt like I was watching WrestleMania. I had that “holy crap, this isn’t even a main event” feeling. Big Show once again showed the WWE Universe why he is hands down the best ‘big-man’ worker in the business. I give applause to WWE Creative for writing a pretty compelling match that could be one of the best of all-time. (Best of the Money in the Bank ladder matches, I mean.)

Smackdown's MITB participants for 2010

While I wasn’t a fan of a few of the individual competitors (Drew McIntyre, Matt Hardy, Christian) it was a good enough mix to get me to enjoy even their performances. Big Show cleared the ring and attempted to climb, but no dice. He was ‘too heavy.’ He pulled a super-sized ladder out from under the ring, and struggled to lift it into the ring, as the announcers described it as ‘reinforced steel, 300 pounds.’ After it was set up anyone could tell that it was anything but, but Big Show did a great job acting and you’d have to be watching with skepticism to notice the ladder’s lack of monstrous weight. Another neat spot involving the World’s Largest Athlete consisted of Big Show being at the bottom of a ladder pig-pile, and other competitors were choke-slammed or thrown onto those ladders. There’s no way to fake that… It’s got to hurt. Kofi Kingston performed another great spot on Drew McIntyre, with a leg drop off of a ladder, through the Spanish announcers’ table. This for me was the match of the night, but opening the card, the night was just getting started.

Raw's 2010 Money in the Bank particpants

The Raw ladder match was a close second, however. Great spots involving John Morrison and Evan Bourne, and The World’s Largest Man on a Mission performing ‘feats of strength’ throughout the match. Like any big worker, Mable Henry eventually got ganged up on by the others, taking an enziguri from John Morrison, a Codebreaker from Chris Jericho, and a Spear from Edge. This was a well-planned, entertaining spot. There was a lot of creative use of ladders, as expected, including Ted DiBiase setting up one of the ladders upside-down, which I still don’t understand. I guess it was so they could climb the rungs where it met the other ladder. Or, it signified Big Daddy V was going to win.

I guess what I’m trying to say is:

Mark Henry is fat.

He can still work, but he looks much larger than he did a few years ago.

The spot of the match for me I think was Maryse climbing the ladder to try to win the match for Ted DiBiase. It gave me old-school flashbacks of Ms Elizabeth getting involved in matches, or heel valets interfering and being gently ‘moved away’ by face wrestlers. I think it would have been great, too, if she had won it and ‘sold it’ to DiBiase. I’m really enjoying that duo, because I’m a sucker for nostalgia. This match was…awesome.

world title matches were average, at best, but I didn’t expect much more from either, anyway. I love Mysterio, but I’m not ‘feeling’ him as world champion, and I’m not really feeling Swagger, either. Cena is Cena, but I’m starting to really like Sheamus. The only reason I really payed any attention to this match was to watch for a Nexus run-in. It happened, it ended, and it sucked. John Cena was as pissed as I was, so he lifted one of those two-ton solid steel ring steps, or so we are led to believe, and THREW it at Michael Tarver. How can you throw something that is supposedly so heavy? Psh… It’s these sorts of things that keep Cena from getting the respect he deserves for some of his matches. These dumb spots with bad acting. Aren’t you supposed to protect the flaws of a worker in the wrestling business? He’s no Big Show. The pay-per-view’s ending was anti-climactic, as it ended like any episode of Raw would. Rubbish.

Undercard matches included Layla vs Kelly Kelly for the Women’s title, Alicia Foxx vs Eve for the Divas’ title, and the Hart Dnyasty defending the Unified Tag titles vs the Usos. Fast forward. Nothing special.

I didn’t include spoilers, but you can find the results here if you need them.

• Did you see the pay-per-view? What did you think?
• Are you bored or disappointed with the Nexus angle yet?

Rivals John Cena & Sheamus teamed up on WWE Raw. This picture isn’t from that show. Sue me.

WWE Raw Review: John Cena & Sheamus team up to close July 12 2010 episode

I did it, I managed to sit through most of another episode of The John Cena Show, more commonly known as WWE Raw. Much to my surprise, it wasn’t all that bad, for once. However, I do believe I deserve a medal, a cookie, the Intercontinental Championship, or a TNA contract for my efforts.

WWE decided to mix things up, and showed the WWE Universe that the anonymous GM has a rather unique vision for certain titles.

As a way of reprimanding Alicia Fox for her shady tactics in a previous match against Eve Torres, Fox was added to the main event, making it a six-on-two intergender handicap match. The icing on the cake: the winner of the pinfall wins the Divas Championship. Smarks around the world grunted in disbelief, knowing John Cena was getting yet another shot at a WWE belt, but the world kept watching.

The match went just as expected, with Super Cena overcoming all odds and gaining the pinfall victory.

Your new WWE Divas champion: John Cena.

Come on, this is pretty awesome. You laughed; admit it.

This obviously didn’t happen, but I saw this picture pop up on a message board and wanted an excuse to use it. I don’t know who made it, so if it’s yours, let me know and I’ll gladly give credit.

This might as well have happened, however, to fit in with the asinine “Santino’s Bunch” segment with guest host Florence Henderson.

Who?

Well, that’s a rhetorical ‘who.’ My point is, the guest host gimmick is bringing us so many outdated and irrelevant ‘celebrities’ that every week can be met with a ‘who?’ response similar to the inquisitive responses to promos late in Stone Cold Steve Austin’s career.

To be fair, the video package was pretty funny, and Henderson getting the punjab-lip-lock from the Great Khali was pretty funny. But.. what am I saying. Get this crap off of my rasslin’ show!

There was some good ‘rasslin’ to be seen, though. I skipped through a lot because I watched it at like 3 AM and quite frankly care about Raw about as much as wrestling fans care about Florence Henderson.

That’s the guest host garbage for ya.

Match results for WWE Raw, July 12 2010:

• Alicia Fox def. Gail Kim
• The Usos & Tamina def. The Hart Dynasty
• John Morrison did yet another crappy promo, ‘scuffled’ with Ted DiBiase
• Edgedef. Randy Orton
• The Miz and Mark Henry fought to a No Contest
• “The Santino Bunch” def. “The Regal Bunch”
• The Nexus def. John Cena (told you I lied.)

My Take on this episode of WWE Raw:

Randy Orton’s match with Edge ended with a few run-ins from other participants of the Money in the Bank Ladder match. After everyone had their turn doing their finishing manuevers, little Evan Bourne tried his, but got PWNED with one of the greatest RKOs of all-time. And yes, in the interest of maintaining a respectable level of professionalism, I made the careful decision that PWNED was an adequate way of describing Bourne’s demise.

I’m not going to say much about the rest of the show because it wasn’t anything to “blog home” about, so if you’re looking for a detailed review, check out the one on WrestleScoop. However, the main event was solid. All things considered. I would really like to see Wade Barrett or another Nexus member in a straight-up one-on-one match, but for now I suppose this will do. After all, the only way Cena loses is versus five or more people.

Surprisingly, DJ Gabriel won this one. Errm, I mean Justin Gabriel. Seriously, every time I look at him I think “DJ Gabriel,” even though I know it’s wrong. Gabriel with the 450 Splash. Nexus tries to jump Cena, Cena ducks out and grabs a chair. Nexus surrounds the ring to corner Cena anyway, and everyone’s favorite chair-swinging jar of mayonnaise runs out.

WWE Money in the Bank 2010:

I’m looking forward to the pay-per-view, which I will fast-forward through just to see the end of the Raw cage match. The entire card looks like garbage to me, and what would normally be the least appealing match to me will become the most appealing, only to see what a gang of rookies will do.

Given that I don’t really care about this pay-per-view, I won’t do an individual post for it. Here are my picks for WWE Money in the Bank 2010.

• Alicia Fox vs Eve Torres (Divas Championship)
  • Fox. Don’t care. It’s for a shiny butterfly.
• Layla vs Kelly Kelly (Women’s Championship)
  • If Michelle McCool is at ringside, I’ll care. And pick Layla.
• Hart Dynasty vs The Usos (Unified Tag Championship)
  • This angle is decent, but The Usos are too new to hold championships. Usos… Ugh.
• Raw Money in the Bank: Edge vs Randy Orton vs Chris Jericho vs Bourne vs DiBiase vs The Miz vs John Morrison vs Mark Henry
  • I’m going to say “Blandy” Orton, but my ‘dark horse’ pick would be The Miz, honorable mention to Evan Bourne.
• Smackdown Money in the Bank: Big Show, Rhodes, Christian, Matt Hardy, Kofi Kingston, Dolph Ziggler, Drew McIntyre
  • McIntyre, whom I loathe. Dark horse pick goes to Christian, honorable mention to Dolph Ziggler.
• Rey Mysterio vs Swagger (World Heavyweight Championship)
  • Mysterio… Is it possible for a finishing manuever to hold a championship? If so, then I pick the Ankle Lock. Afterall, it’s far more over than Jack Swagger is.
• Sheamus vs John Cena: Steel Cage match for WWE Championship
  • Sheamus steals it amidst a Nexus scuffle. Nexus and Cena in the cage, with the rest of the roster trapped outside. Sheamus looks on, grinning, but the cage is raised…by…whoever was the Money in the Bank winner!

What did you think of WWE Raw this week, and what are your picks for WWE Money in the Bank 2010?

The road to WWE WrestleMania 26 begins in March. This year’s offering from World Wrestling Entertainment’s sports-entertainment extravaganza on March 28 includes match-ups that are new and fresh, pulling away from the rather stale we’ve-seen-this-before feeling of seeing the same matches every week on WWE Raw or WWE Smackdown.

It’s that time of year again…

WWE WrestleMania 26 boasts not one but four main events. Fresh off a Royal Rumble victory in January, Edge challenges former tag-team partner Chris Jericho for the World Heavyweight Championship, WWE Smackdown’s main event title.

WWE WrestleMania 26: The Main Events

The main event for the Raw brand’s title at WWE WrestleMania 26 is John Cena challenging ‘the Animal’ Batista for the WWE Championship. In a pay-per-view environment, this match has only happened once before: SummerSlam 2008, not including the 10-second squash match at Elimination Chamber. This time, the WWE Championship is on the line. ‘The Animal’ won their 2008 match-up and stole the WWE Championship in their short match last month. Will John Cena finally gain the upperhand and regain his championship?

McMahon vs Hart: A decade in the making.

The other two match-ups do not involve championships, but are high-profile matches that have enough to offer to not need a world championship on the line. WWE Hall of Famer Bret “the Hitman” Hart will face Mr. McMahon in a match that has been anticipated since the 1997 Survivor Series, the event that featured a legitimate incident where McMahon double-crossed Hart and awarded the WWF Championship to Shawn Michaels. This has has become known as ‘the Montreal Screwjob,’ and 12 years later, Bret Hart makes his return to competitive action in a WWE ring.

The other main event is surrounded by even more anticipation and suspense, as the Undertaker defends his legendary undefeated-at-WrestleMania streak (17-0) against Shawn Michaels. The two met at last year’s WrestleMania in a match that was named match of the year by Pro Wrestling Illustrated. This time around, Michaels has a second choice to end ‘the streak,’ but puts his career on the line. If Shawn Michaels loses, he must retire (or most likely just take a long vacation).

WWE WrestleMania 26: Undercard

The undercard of WWE WrestleMania 26 includes the annual “Money in the Bank” ladder match, where eight superstars compete to retrieve a briefcase hanging high above the center of the ring. The winner and retriever of the briefcase receives a title shot at the time of their choosing. The confirmed participants so far include Christian, Kane, MVP, Shelton Benjamin, Dolph Ziggler, and Jack Swagger. Christian looks to be the favorite out of this group, but there are still two spots open. John Morrison and CM Punk both lost in qualifying matches, which leaves less options. Potential final entrants include William Regal, Ezekiel Jackson, Kofi Kingston, and Evan Bourne.

Undertaker vs Michaels at WrestleMania 25

One unconfirmed-but-speculated match may involve Unified Tag Team Champions The Miz and Big Show defending their titles, possibly against the Hart Dynasty. With no storylines in progress, look for this or a similar tag team match to be the ‘dark match’ (unbroadcasted match) to start the event. Rey Mysterio and Triple H have been teasing separate storylines with CM Punk and Sheamus, respectively, so look for these matches to be added to the undercard of WWE WrestleMania 26 as well.

WWE WrestleMania 26 can be seen on pay-per-view on through most cable providers, and for readers in the western Massachusetts area, will be shown at Maximum Capacity in Chicopee for an $8 entrance fee. Maximum Capacity is also hosting an Elite Wrestling Riot show at 4 p.m. EWR is an independent wrestling promotion and the main event will feature former ECW champion and WWE superstar Justin Credible. For only $25 fans can get a day full of wrestling, including ringside seats to the indie show and entry to the WWE WrestleMania 26 viewing.

What are your thoughts on WWE WrestleMania 26?

AJ Styles is physically one of wrestling's greatest talents, but shouldn't front a stable.

According to Hulk Hogan, AJ Styles ‘needed character,’ and I don’t disagree. I do however disagree with the choice to pair Styles with Ric Flair, rehashing the ‘Nature Boy’ gimmick and essentially passing the torch.

The program has been great so far, but I think someone else could have benefited from it more greatly than Styles, and Styles should have gone in a different direction.

Let’s face it, Styles is rather bland as a babyface, and while he may be over with the IWC and the smarks at the Impact Zone, he never had a chance at becoming a household name without intervention.

Something just isn’t right about Styles adopting the Ric Flair persona. For starters, he’s married. Second, no one can pull off a ‘Wooo’ quite like Flair himself. Styles doesn’t have the right type of charisma needed for that role, and the aftereffect is that it sometimes comes off as comedic, rather than the serious style that the Horsemen used to present.

Speaking of the Four Horsemen, there have been rumors of a new Four Horsemen group being formed. Again, with Styles involved, I can’t see it working. The transition was just too big of a leap for AJ.

One TNA star that it would have worked a lot better with is Robert Roode. Roode has the ‘it’ factor and is a bona fide future main eventer. Perhaps this idea comes to mind due to the fact that Roode has made entrances dressed in robes that draw up memories of Ric Flair.

Perhaps it’s his tough style that could stack him up against Arn Anderson. Perhaps it’s his look, the look of a guy you really wouldn’t want to mess with. The look of a Horseman.

There’s no rule that says there has to be a ‘Flair-type,’ and an ‘Arn-type’ in the new Horsemen group. WWE’s Evolution stable was a pretty darn good modern example of a Horsemen-style stable, but even that wasn’t a mirror image.

Wrestling's most iconic and influential stable is getting revamped one more time.

However, the TNA incarnation of the stable has GOT to have Roode. I would go as far as saying that if you were to try to fill the ‘roles’ to keep it ‘classic,’ Roode would be a good choice for the Arn Anderson spot, and D’Angelo Dinero could have filled the Flair role, and played it to a T. Dinero has the look and the charisma to lead such a stable.

If they wanted to keep Beer Money together, I think it would work. The Beer Money personas could easily evolve into a jet flying, limousine riding, wheeling, dealing sort of persona, if you catch my drift.

The Blanchard role could be filled quite possibly by Ken Anderson, if he dropped his announcer gimmick. Anderson has been getting tremendous heel heat in his current TNA run, and Blanchard was a heat magnet for the Horsemen. If not Anderson, then Desmond Wolfe. Wolfe looked classy in his suit on last week’s Impact and could pull it off, combined with working a heelish technical style in the ring.

We’ll see how it pans out with AJ, but I think this would have been a lot better, and would have especially drawn in the old-school fans.

With blood gushing from the visibly deep wound, Holly showed fans just how ‘Hardcore’ he truly was, working the rest of the match, and becoming one of the few ‘WWE guys’ to truly do the modern ECW banner justice.

Releasing Bob Holly was a bad idea.

While I’m not advocating a bloodbath every week on Tuesday nights in order to earn respect, I think he did deserve some recognition for the small part he played in the short-lived run of ECW’s second time around.

Bob Holly was released from WWE in January 2009, and ECW was finally laid to rest last month, with the new pseudo-reality show “NXT” taking its place. NXT teams up 8 rookies with 8 ‘pros’ in an innovative effort to build eight stars at once. Some of the pros chosen are a little questionable, but they provide a spot for WWE stars that don’t really have anything else going for them.

Carlito and R-Truth might have been future-endeavored if not for NXT. The Miz, Chris Jericho, and CM Punk are on fire on their respective brands, and provide necessary star-power for NXT. William Regal, Matt Hardy, and Christian are all solid workers and have paid their dues, so to speak, but seem to be forever stuck under the proverbial glass ceiling in WWE. Therefore, NXT is a good ‘waiting room’ for these guys.

However, I think they could have gone further than just eight pairs. I know they plan to have future seasons, so it opens up other options, but I don’t doubt that there will be duplicate/recurring pros.

Bob Holly would have been a perfect mentor for a rookie. They could have–and still could, in a future season–played off of Holly’s history as a Tough Enough trainer. The rookie could be intimidated by Holly due to his reputation as a ‘bully,’ and a respect angle could form.

The good thing about NXT is that not only will it build eight stars at once, but it will possibly revitalize slumping WWE Pro careers or at the very least keep the established stars in the spotlight.

I can understand the recent release of Paul Burchill, as Burchill will draw no ratings. However, Holly and other Attitude-Era remnants may be a good choice.

Scotty 2 Hotty: Another good option.

Scotty Too Hotty isn’t doing much these days, right? Scott Taylor might have been one of the most unlikely stars in recent pro-wrestling memory. Despite barely even having the wrestling credentials of a jobber, Taylor managed to get huge crowd reactions with his hokey ‘W.O.R.M.’ routine, and even in his recent months before his release he got good reactions. Scotty Too Hotty might be a great choice for season two of NXT.

Goldust is another Attitude-Era memory that still gets a great reaction. Whether he was teaming with Booker T or Yoshi Tatsu, his segments were humorous and memorable. Pairing Runnels up with a rookie could be compelling, as Golddust would mentor him based on how Goldust thinks is ‘the way’ to become a star. I can’t see Runnels fitting into any segments on Raw or Smackdown, anyway, especially if the guest host gimmick is ending soon.

Marty Jannetty. You may have seen my Marty Jannetty Memorial Battle Royal slide-show on BleacherReport, and all kidding aside (and no, he’s not deceased. Just his career) I think he could be a great addition. Jannetty could tell his mentor that he wants to help him become the next Shawn Michaels. He could claim that Michaels learned everything he knows from him, but that it’s ‘OK’ because he never wanted the spotlight. Potential revitalization of Jannetty, possibly as a heel, but more importantly, it throws a bone to the old-school fans.

These may not be initial ratings draws, but it could work for compelling programming. Right now, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and David Otunga are the reasons to watch the show. However, it’s not going to help if you don’t want to see ‘more’ Punk than you already see on Smackdown. The only ‘exclusives’ to the brand are the rookies, and aside from Bryan, the rookies are unknowns and do not have much appeal as a draw aside from the lure of watching a budding career of a future star unfold.

I’m not knocking NXT; it’s a fantastic idea. However, hopefully they branch out and throw us more curveballs with next season’s pairings.

Here’s the unintentionally gruesome bout between ‘Hardcore’ Bob Holly and Rob Van Dam:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slFnDMj1JLk

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HpcPgXTKSw

Asylum Cage: "Oops."

Impact began with an 8 person Asylum cage match. A lot of people seem to dislike the Asylum cage, and I can understand why, but I don’t mind it. Aside from looking like an Elimination Chamber ripoff, it reminds me of the old blue WWF cage. What they have to remember, though, six sides of anything is going to need extra reinforcement compared to four sides, so this means more obstructed views from the fan’s perspective in the crowd.

The match ended with Homicide taking out the other secen participants, which prompted a ‘no contest’ decision from the referee. Much to no one’s surprise, the decision earned a ‘bullshit’ chant from the crowd, which was bleeped out every time. This got pretty annoying. Overall the point of the finish was to end it without burying any of the X-Division stars by not actually putting anyone over (although no one gets buried if it’s an escape finish).

Homicide failed at escaping the cage (as anyone probably would) and dropped back into the ring. The remaining participants ‘came to their senses’ and attacked Homicide, basically having to improvise. Jeff Hardy jumps the barricade and Homicide attacks him. The attack included an unprotected chair shot, which is really not necessary in this day and age of wrestling. Too many reports of brain tissue analysis are coming out that describe horrific effects of constant head trauma from this profession, so hopefully TNA/Homicide/Hardy don’t make a habit of it.

A lot of people complained and nitpicked on various forums and reports I’ve read, about that debut and everything about it, but I really thought it was pretty good considering a lot had to be improvised. Even Mike Tenay had to make an effort to cover up Homicide’s inability to escape the cage: “Oh, now he’s just showing off.” When I watched it live, I thought Tenay caught something that I missed, so I bought it. Effective emergency control on an announcer’s part. Still, if such a mishap can occur so early in your most important broadcast, maybe they should have gone with a regular WRESTLING match, or Ultimate X.

Nash cut a rather monotone promo emphasizing Hulk’s arrival and that he is NOT ALONE. I wonder who it will be? Knockouts title match up next, ODB wins the belt from Tara in about two minutes. Many say this was a bad idea as well, but I understand why they did it. You have a WWE-familiar come out with a TNA title, versus someone most of the new viewers have never seen before. You want her to look like a threat versus a familiar face. Most probably thought, ‘who is this skank?’ but after the quick win, their tunes change. “Wow, she BEAT VICTORIA?” (Err, Tara.) They also didn’t want to overload the show with Knockouts segments.

Unfortunately, the announcing reeked of late nineties WCW, as Mike Tenay blabbered more about Dixie Carter’s Twitter than the match in the ring. All that was missing was Tony Schiavone. Tara putting a tarantula on ODB was a time waster and unnecessary.

WOOOOOOOO!

Ric Flair arrives in a limo and shakes hands with Beer Money and Eric Young. Great! You can’t go wrong with the ‘Nature Boy.’ However, with this emphasis on change, they need to immediately introduce TNA wrestlers. Couldn’t they have had Beer Money stop and introduce themselves? Eric Young has a damn CHAMPIONSHIP, couldn’t they point that out? British Invasion could have been there instead of Beer Money. They could have told them the Four Horsemen inspired their careers in World Elite. Flair could have nodded and shook their hands, keeping him silent. I do like the idea of keeping the debuts of Flair’s appearance and voice on separate occasions, but they could have done more.

Instead, we have Bobby Lashley come to the ring. Lashley, well known by WWE fans, stood in the middle of the ring in front of new viewers while his wife asked for his TNA release. Not only was it bad, but you’re having a ‘WWE guy’ say “I’m out, I have better things to do,” all while TNA is pitching the idea to potential new fans that their wrestling company is destined to be #1 in the world.

Beautiful People run a strip poker segment that recurs throughout the night. I have mixed feelings on this. It’s probably great for ratings, but in a trashy 90s WWE sort of way. It reminded me of the intentionally bad acting between the Zack and Miri characters in “Zack and Miri Make a Porno.” Unfortunately it was neither entertaining nor funny, but it served as a debut spot for WWE’s Val Venis.

I like Val, I seems like a decent guy behind the scenes, and he’s not a bad wrestler. The Val Venis gimmick is pretty damn stale, however. If it’s ‘time for a change,’ why are you hiring Attitude-era guys AND keeping their gimmicks? Granted, he has to go as Sean Morley, as Val is owned by WWE, but the character is the same. If TNA hired Morley for his gimmick, they are already contradicting what they put forth as ideas for change.

Hogan debuts and takes his sweet time geting down the entrance ramp. Why? Bret Hart is walking down an entrance ramp in Dayton, Ohio. This was very smart. I was watching both shows side-by-side and it’s interesting to see what events synced up.

It's 1999 all over again, on the 11-year anniversary of the 'Finger-Poke of Doom.'

Sidenote:
Looking around the Impact zone, I notice a ton of yellow Hogan shirts on the camera side, but barely any on the other sides. I’m guessing TNA handed them out so it would look like the crowd was crazy for Hogan.

Hogan says he’s been in the back (of his limo?) all day long and the locker room is full of talent.
Scott Hall and Sean Waltman jump the barricade (I forgot to mention they broke into the arena; so much happened on this show, my writing is about as unorganized as Vince Russo’s.) and I want to say I’m glad Hall was involved with this show, because he was instrumental in the success of WCW starting in 1996, when he arrived through the crowd as an ‘Outsider.’

I thought the quasi-shoot promo was interesting, as Hall said he was there for a big paycheck. It addresses the concerns of Hogan bringing in his ‘buddies’ for a fat payday. Hogan shot it down, but time will tell if kayfabe is truly alive or dead, as Hulk will need to put his money where his mouth is and keep TNA’s money out of his cronies’ pockets.

Hall threatens Hogan that he is either with them or against them, and Nash’s music hits. Nash accuses Hogan of telling a different story than he had been told over the phone, and things appear to start to heat up. Bischoff’s music hits, at the same time Shawn Michaels’ music hits on WWE Raw. The original New World Order standing reunited in a TNA ring at the same time as Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart stand in a WWE Ring for the first time since 1997. WOW.

Bischoff cuts an excellent promo saying that everyone must earn their position in the company. Again, this is quasi-shoot and hopefully they follow through on their word. Bischoff claims they have done it before, and they will do it again. Hogan ended the promo with a great touch: “If you can’t talk and you can’t wrestle, pack your bags and head north.”

Sting is shown in the rafters, and of course this was criticized on forums and reports, too. Does it reek of WCW? Yes, yes it does. But when it was done in WCW it was effective; it reeled me in as a fan, and Sting became one of my all-time favorites. It gives viewers another reason to tune in on the following Impact broadcast.

Pretty decent Knockouts match for the Knockouts tag titles. A pretty good spot by Hamada went unnoticed as the match went to picture-in-picture to show the Motor City Machineguns laid out backstage. THAT reeks of WCW, I feel it is disrespectful to the match taking place, but I understand that it will give viewers a reason to stay tuned. Hamada and Awesome Kong win the belts here, and I don’t really get why; maybe it’s to be ‘believable’ as new fans might not buy a loss for Kong given her appearance as a female Andre the Giant.

Sidenote:
For some reason, when Val Ve-I mean Sean Morley–said “you have no idea,” he reminded me of Kevin from ‘The Office.’ This is a creepy sign that Morley needs a new gimmick.

Nasty Boys show up and appear in three segments throughout the whole show. Overkill, I say, given the supposed plan of showcasing the younger guys. It’s all going to lead up to a feud with Team 3D, and assuming the Nastys leave it at that, I’m game. We’ve never seen it before, and it could be a trainwreck in a guilty-pleasure sort of way.

Dr Stevie (Richards) and Raven are in the ring for a match–no entrance–versus Matt Morgan and Hernandez, who look like mega-stars thanks to their entrance. They squash Stevie and Raven like bugs in no time. This is brilliant. Wrestling fans KNOW Stevie and Raven, so no need to waste time with an entrance. And, similar to the loss for Tara earlier, a WWE-familiar getting squashed is going to look good for the home-grown talent.

The former Elijah Burke, “Pope,” gets an interview backstage, and is interrupted by Orlando Jordan. No idea if Jordan has signed or not, but it did its purpose: gives a surprise (Jordan) and demonstrates Pope’s arrogance as a heel. Pope arrives to the ring for his match against Desmond Wolfe. Wolfe’s technical abilities are talked up by Tazz, and while the match wasn’t anything spectacular, it introduced Pope to a new crowd as a showman, and Wolfe as the next Chris Benoit or William Regal.

Rhino is shown laid out backstage. Bischoff and AJ Styles are backstage as well in a separate segment, cancelling the Genesis main event and saying it will take place as the Impact main event. Personally I think the show should have opened with the TNA Champion, but this was effective too.

Jeff Jarrett cut a promo about how proud he was of TNA and claimed that he gave so many–hundreds–of young guys opportunities. Hogan cut him off and cut a somewhat heelish promo, saying that Jeff no longer has any voting power and needs to get in line like everyone else. I am unaware of the politics that lead up to this, other than that Jeff was supposed to say alot more than he actually did, so Hogan’s tone was SUPPOSED to be warranted.

Abyss vs Samoa Joe showcased a man who can really take a beating and a man who can really dish out a beating. Again, the camera cuts away to something backstage–Sting–and the announcers get a bit distracted. Nothing to write home about, but it got Abyss and Joe into the spotlight.

Angle versus AJ Styles as a main event is possibly the smartest move TNA could have done for this show, and both men proved that theory in their match. Angle is well known to the WWE audience, headlining multiple WrestleManias and hundreds of five-star matches on WWE programming. Up until Hogan, Angle was possibly TNA’s greatest acquisition. Not only did the two put on a match-of-the-year candidate, but AJ Styles went over as he retained his title against one of the greatest wrestlers in the world.

Halfway through the match, Ric Flair emerges at the entrance and watches the match. It appears he is leading into a managerial role for Styles, which is a great idea. Flair will get people to tune in, and if eyes are on Flair, the eyes will be on AJ, too. After the match, Hogan applauds the two as the greatest wrestlers in the world today. The celebration is cut short as Hogan runs to the back after word of an altercation.

NWO 2010 beat down Foley in Bischoff’s office, and Impact went off the air as Hogan looked on, but it is unclear if it was a look of disbelief, confusion, or satisfaction. This is reminiscent of WCW, but WCW was effective with its cliffhanger episodes. In recent years, I’ve never seen an episode of Raw that made the following week seem like a ‘must-see’ in order to explain a cliffhanger ending. I think this is effective, but they should slow it down a bit.

All things considered, TNA had the better show. I’ve hated TNA for years, out of disappointment in their missed opportunities by bad booking and writing. Despite this, I root for them, because competition is good for everyone. I have a feeling Hogan will try to kick the Nasty Boys out, but Team 3-D will tell Hogan, “let them stay, we want them at Genesis.” It’s a feud we’ve never seen before, and I welcome it, as long as Team 3D go over, and the Nasty Boys leave TNA afterwards.

The Outsiders will face Beer Money at Genesis, as well. I think this is also great. People will want to see an Outsiders reunion, and Beer Money will go over. Hogan’s buddies are welcome, as long as they put over the younger stars, and I have a feeling that will be the explanation for their presence.

We’ll see how it all turns out. Hopefully the NWO’s next target is the six-sided ring.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCvpowW8Frg

Check your calendars all you want, but it IS 2010, not 1997, and hell HAS frozen over.

Raw started with a classy introduction with video package, and Justin Roberts announced Bret’s championships and 12 year absence. The Hitman’s music plays, and Bret’s entrance is a little delayed–I half expect HBK or Hornswaggle, but instead, a scraggly old-man-looking Bret is on stage in denim shorts and a leather jacket.

There is a huge pyro display, but it seems sort of out of place for Bret. He did not have his pink shades, which was disappointing. I think it would have been good to have him give them to a kid in the audience because it could offer an opportunity for him to begin to connect with a younger generation. That would be a good plan, as far as merchandising goes, as Bret was sporting a new Hitman t-shirt. All things considered, Bret doesn’t look like someone who had a stroke–Bret looks like someone who needs a comb and a hairbrush.

“A lot of people are wondering why I’m here tonight,” Bret began his speech. Kids were probably wondering, “ya, who are you?”

Sidenote:
Ironically, a fan is shown in the audience with a NWO B&W shirt, while NWO is reuniting on TNA Impact.

For a while, I wondered, Why Ohio? Bret would be in front of quite a hot crowd anywhere in Canada, specifically Montreal. However, they risk HBK getting heel heat during a face run.
But still, why Ohio? Bret reminds us he won King of the Ring in same arena. Bret claims he was the ‘first king of the ring.’ This is semi-false. He was crowned King of the Ring AT the first King of the Ring PPV but Bret was not the first King of the Ring, Don Muraco was.

At KoTR in ’93, Bret Pinned the late Bam Bam Bigelow, the late Curt Hennig, and Razor Ramon, who coincidentally was standing in a TNA ring in Orlando, FL during Bret’s return speech.

Michaels & Hart: NOT PHOTOSHOPPED. And it's still 2010.

Bret calls out HBK, HBK says Hart deserved what happened in Montreal, but things have changed. After some soap opera mumbo jumbo, “I respect you but you don’t respect me,” and references to their epic 60 minute ‘Iron match’ (it’s an Iron Man Match), the two decide to ‘bury the hatchet.’

Bret offers handshake, HBK shakes, walks away, and somewhat teases sweet chin music, turns to hug Bret. The hug looked fake, even for wrestling. Bret calls out Vince, but gets no response.

Vince is shown backstage: “I was in a meeting, I have no idea what Bret is saying.” Nothing like insulting the intelligence of your fans. Do you expect people to buy the idea that someone so hands-on and involved with their programming doesn’t have a front row seat (well, backstage) for one of the biggest returns to a WWE ring? Come on. That’s almost as bad as Hulk Hogan claiming he’d been ‘in the back all day’ after arriving in his stretch limo.

Maryse vs Brie Bella is up against a knockouts tag title match. The eye candy quantity is equal, since both Bellas come to ringside, and TNA’s tag match involves Awesome Kong. But, the wrestling is of course better on Impact. Maryse wins this match, which is the first match of a Divas tournament, meaning we are guaranteed at least a half dozen more crappy divas matches.

Miz joins the announce team after a short-but-sweet promo. MVP vs Swagger vs Carlito vs Mark Henry, #1 contenders match for US title. Funny thing is, when TNA debuted Jeff Hardy, I said, “Well, what’s your answer to Hardy? MVP vs Miz for the 83rd time?” We didn’t see this tonight but will soon, as MVP became #1 contender. I’d like to think there is logic behind this: WWE tried to put their younger mid-card stars on display for any ‘new’ (old) viewers tuning in to see Hart. Mark Henry was thrown in for nostalgia value, as his Nation of Domination days overlapped the end of Hart’s WWE run. A very large, familiar face, and a giant, red spandex-covered gut that is only missing eyes and a grin before becoming the Kool-Aid Man. OH YEAAAH!

MVP’s gimmick is a modern Mr Perfect, and his talent is comparable, too. However, like the late great Hennig, I don’t think MVP will break the glass ceiling. Not everyone is meant to.

So-so Bret/Jericho segment followed by Hornswaggle and action figures. Merchandise plugs for kids–christmas already passed. Santino comes in as Jericho,but for once, Santino is not funny at all. Triple H is somewhat humorous in a so-bad-it’s-funny sort of way, treating Hornswaggle like a child or a pet, whistling and saying ‘here boy.’ I suppose the purpose of this was to plug the upcoming tag title match, but with DX not taking their opponents seriously, it doesn’t make for compelling TV. TNA had some bad segments too, but they were compelling and served a purpose.

I really wish for once a heel would win back their titles via their ‘rematch clause’ match. Fortunately, fans over the age of 13 got what they wanted, finally, when Jericho delivered a pretty stiff kick to the helmeted-head of Hornswaggle, thwarting  his half-pint attempt at a ‘Sweet Shin Music.’ Where’s Randy Orton when you need him?

Jericho is now off Raw, giving fans one less reason to tune in. With DX able to appear three brands, older fans can all be tortured, and younger fans can be shilled more merchandise. It’s smart from a business standpoint.

Randy Orton is shown backstage with Vince, suggesting he should kick Bret in the head in exchange for #30 in the Rumble. Compelling idea, but Bret Hart needs another kick to the head about as much as he needs to stand in the same ring with Bill Goldberg again. Or with Jeff Jarrett, whose finisher at one point was ‘the Stroke.’ Ok, done.

WWE plugs Mike Tyson, their choice for next week’s guest host, going head-to-head with UFC for the first time. WWE gets Tyson because The Rock wasn’t interested. Baddest man in the planet?  Maybe ten years ago. These days, Tyson is about as bad as Bea Arthur in a set of Legion of Doom shoulder pads. (Note to Vince: If Arthur guest hosts, I’m suing.)

WWE’s whiter-than-Whitney-Houston’s-nostrils champion is in the ring, and his pasty body blinds viewers around the world. Evan Bourne interrupts the champ and asks for an opportunity to challenge for his title. This is a nice change and I give WWE credit for booking this match. If Bourne wins, he gets a rematch versus Sheamus for the title at the Royal Rumble. Unfortunately, WWE didn’t have the balls to give Bourne the win. It made for exciting TV, however. I would go as far as saying that this match was TNA-influenced. Vince wouldn’t admit it, I’m sure, but if TNA wasn’t putting up such a stink in Orlando with that ‘Hulkster’ guy promoting the X-Division and young talent, we wouldn’t be seeing Sheamus vs Bourne on the same night. If I am correct, we are already seeing the effects of competition resulting in better programming. But don’t adjust your TVs; Sheamus really IS that pale.

Ultimately, Sheamus vs Bourne was effective. It put the champ over, but it showcased Bourne as a lightning-quick high-flyer. The ‘little engine that could in a different company.’

"Dr Death" Steve Williams

WWE gave a short tribute to ‘Dr. Death’ Steve Williams, which was a nice gesture, but it’s disappointing how ‘selective’ WWE is with to whom they pay tribute. It’s sad that they ignored Umaga’s death, but I am glad that they took a moment to give respect to Williams.

Another video package aired rehashing the Montreal Screwjob, in an effort to educate the fans in the audience who are probably unaware and bored of Bret Hart and his history.

Orton pinned Kofi in a decent match. The stipulation was that if Orton loses, Rhodes and Dibiase would beat him down and kick him out of Legacy. Storyline continues with this win, and will probably continue right through until WrestleMania, where I predict Dibiase will pin Orton to end the streak. The question is, will anyone care?

Probably not, and no one will care about Mike Tyson, who they plugged yet again as guest host. Get out your “Tyson screwed HBK” signs, kids! This will be huge! Afterall, Tyson and HBK haven’t been in a ring together in over 11 years since the infamous ‘Boston Screwjob’ at WrestleMania 14 at the FleetCenter, where Tyson turned on DX to join forces with ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin.

I don’t really have a lot to say about the Hart-McMahon confrontation other than that it was a predictable ending. One nice surprise however was the announcement of Stu Hart’s induction to the Hall of Fame. He will likely be inducted by Bret, which will also serve as a last-minute promotion to get buys for WrestlMania 26, which will likely feature Bret vs Vince in some sort of face-palm-inducing gimmick match. Bret’s possible final match will be vs Vince McMahon?

McMahon shows Hart off like a trophy.

I know the angle and programming leading up to it will be excellent, as WWE always pulls out the ‘big guns’ leading into WrestleMania, but I really am not liking the idea of Bret wrestling again. My assumptions could be wrong, and a second swerve with Shawn Michaels could be coming up, setting up a Hart Dynasty vs DX match instead, but I don’t think so.

The Hart Dynasty was called to fly to Dayton but did not appear until after Raw went off the air, in a post-match celebration in respect to Hart, which consisted of most of the faces of the locker room (minus DX) and a few heels breaking character. I will give credit where it’s due: I WANT to see where this angle is going, despite how predictable it may be. That is a successful key to ratings. However, the initial shock of Bret standing in a WWE ring is over, and TNA has a lot more compelling surprises and unknown directions to reveal on their product. Buckle up, kids, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

With the help of Hulk Hogan, TNA looks to be a Monday-Night-Throne Hopeful.

I remember it like it was yesterday. Sitting on the floor at the foot of my father’s bed on a Monday night in July. With no school in session, there was no reason I couldn’t stay up to watch WCW Monday Nitro rather than tape it and watch it the next day. Of course, my Dad didn’t have the same luxury of a summer vacation, so I had to try to contain my excitement as I watched then-undefeated United States Champion Bill Goldberg challenge the ‘immortal’ Hollywood Hulk Hogan in the Georgia Dome. That’s right, I even remember the arena. I also remember it being the peak of entertainment in my young-adult days. Never before (and I don’t think I was ever again) was I that engrossed and drawn into a TV show (perhaps my childhood favorite ‘Power Rangers’ would be the only exception) in my life.

Fast-forwarding over ten years later, a lot has changed. If you’ve been reading this blog, you might have gotten the impression that I am still a wrestling fan. That assumption is correct, but it’s not a statement that can be written without asterisks at hand. A lot has changed. The lines of real and scripted are no longer as blurred as they once were to me, and many names have come and gone since. Even that said company has gone; gone into the clutches of Vince McMahon. Wrestling has not been the same since World Championship Wrestling closed, because there is no competition for World Wrestling Entertainment, the ‘number one’ in the business.

That may change over time, as the ‘number two’ in the business, Total Non-stop Action Wrestling, has signed the most well-known and popular star in the history of professional wrestling: Hulk Hogan. Love him or hate him, everyone and their uncle knows the Hulkster. Not everyone knows TNA, however, and while one man can’t automatically make TNA a contender, it sure will help a lot.

News of this signing brought a lot of worries to wrestling fans, many of which assumed Hogan would litter TNA’s rings with his old cronies, like Brian Knobbs and Ed Leslie (Brutus Beefcake). Fortunately, Hogan seems to have TNA’s best interests as his priority. He is not joining in an in-ring role (at least at first) and plans to be running the show with a more modern mind for pro-wrestling programming. One crony he is bringing with him is Eric Bischoff. I applaud this move and it nearly has me on the edge of my seat in 1998-fashion. Bischoff was the brains behind WCW’s side of the monday night wars. With Bischoff and Hogan at the helm of an already relatively successful wrestling promotion, look for TNA to be running wild on the wrestling business in 2010.

Hogan’s on-screen debut is on January 4, LIVE. This is head-to-head with WWE’s Raw program, and a first for TNA. It really brings back memories of WCW. Hogan has high hopes of a 3.0 rating, and while I would love to see that, I don’t think it will happen. This sort of change does not happen overnight, and they need to not get ahead of themselves. Afterall, WWE has an ace-in-the-hole: Bret ‘the Hitman’ Hart.

Hart isn’t and wasn’t quite a star of a comparable caliber to Hogan, but it’s proof that WWE can put on a show when they want or need to. Despite being off WWE programming for twelve years, he will still deliver a more compelling appearance than Al Sharpton or Timbaland. Hell, anyone with a shred of wrestling history knowledge should be more intrigued by a mention of Bret Hart than 90% of WWE’s current roster.

I have very high hopes for TNA, a company I couldn’t stand watching until they moved loudmouth Don West away from the announce booth. I may not approve of their booking or storylines, but Bischoff’s influence will be nothing but a good thing and will create a desire for WWE to finally compete and bring something to the table. After January 4, I think Bischoff and McMahon should each be asking themselves one thing: “Paul Heyman, wanna get back into the game?”

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TQsuKmIkDM

On December 4th, wrestling fans learned  of the passing of yet another talented individual: Eddie Fatu, also known as former two-time WWE Intercontinental Champion Umaga. Umaga suffered two heart attacks and not many more details are available at this time and it is uncofirmed if they were related to steroids or drugs.

Umaga performed for various professional wrestling promotions since his true debut to the mainstream in 2002, including Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, All Japan Pro Wrestling, and most notably, World Wrestling Entertainment, where he gained his fame as “Umaga,” based on a painful Samoan tattooing process. His gimmick was that of a ‘savage,’ and alongside ‘handler’ (manager) Armando Alejandro Estrada, he went undefeated from April 2006 to January 2007, culminating with a loss to WWE Champion John Cena, in arguably Umaga’s best match.

While it’s easy to recognize talent after a performer is deceased, I became a fan of Umaga’s work when I saw his match against John Cena. It also marked the first time I respected and enjoyed a John Cena match, because I realized that the two could really put on a great show. Fatu took an 80’s style gimmick reminiscent of the Ugandan giant, Kamala, and made it work in the modern era. Sure, no one believed he was truly a ‘savage,’ but his character made for compelling television. He was a modern-day Vader or Bam Bam Bigelow—a ‘big man’ category wrestler, but with the rare combination of agility, able to jump high to sell moves from opponents, like ‘choke-slams.’

“Umaga” was released from WWE in June of 2009 after refusing to receive rehabilitation after a ‘wellness policy’ violation. Fatu resurfaced on Hulk Hogan’s successful “Hulkamania” wrestling tour, a four night string of events that featured Fatu billed as “RUmaga,” facing fellow former WWE star Ken Kennedy in the undercard.

Fatu was a member of the Anoa’i wrestling family, related to 7-time WWE Champion Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, “Soulman” Rocky Johnson, the Wild Samoans Afa and Sika, the late Rodney “Yokozuna” Anoa’i, also a former WWE Champion (two times), and Matt “Rosey” Anoa’i, with whom he debuted in 2002. He was the brother of Solafa Fatu, the former Intercontinental Champion known as “Rikishi.” Edward himself was a two-time Intercontinental Champion in WWE and was 36 years old.

1. John Cena vs Umaga – WWE Royal Rumble 2007 main event for the WWE Championship.

For me as a fan, this match was a turning point for the careers of both men. While the undefeated push of the Umaga character had already ended at WWE New Year’s Revolution 2007, Fatu seemingly cemented his position on the roster as a main eventer, with key moments like running across the announce tables and needing to be choked out by the ring ropes in order to lose the match. A bloodied Cena did just that at WWE’s 2007 Royal Rumble to beat Umaga, but WWE didn’t seem to know where to take his character next.

2. Umaga vs Triple H – WWE No Mercy 2007 match for WWE Championship.

I was not a fan of how this event was booked, at all. In an effort to mix things up and try to deliver a fresh product, WWE gave its fans an event with not one, not two, but three matches for the WWE Championship. At WWE No Mercy 2007, Randy Orton was awarded the vacant title at the start of the show, and immediately defended it (and lost) against Triple H. Why they didn’t have the match be for the vacant title is beyond me. In the middle of the card, Triple H defended it in a quick match against Umaga. This wasn’t the greatest match for Fatu’s career at this point as the former Samoan bulldozer got dismantled in less than seven minutes. However, his skill at putting over his opponent was his true talent, as Triple H looked like a powerhouse, being able to topple Umaga in his second match of the night. Triple H then went on to lose the WWE Championship to Randy Orton in the main event of the evening.

3. Umaga vs Jeff Hardy – January 7, 2008 steel cage match on WWE RAW

I was pretty critical of WWE’s booking tactics around this time, as the Umaga character seemed to have lost all direction and purpose and had basically become Jeff Hardy’s personal ‘jobber.’ However, that didn’t mean they didn’t deliver excellent matches, and I think Fatu was a key player in building up the hype for Jeff Hardy’s 2008-2009 main event run. This pay-per-view-caliber match on free television was won by Jeff Hardy after a high-risk spot from the top of the cage and helped elevate Hardy in his feud with WWE Champion Randy Orton, who was at ringside for most of the match.

4. Umaga vs John Cena – WWE New Year’s Revolution 2007 match for the WWE Championship.

New Year’s Revolution 2007 marked the end of the undefeated streak for the Umaga character with a surprise finish: a pinfall via a roll-up. After numerous failed finisher attempts by Cena, he stole the win with speed instead of power. A good example of wrestling psychology worthy of appreciation.

5. 3-Minute Warning (Umaga, as Jamal, and Rosey) and Rico vs Jeff Hardy, Bubba Ray Dudley, and Spike Dudley – WWE Survivor Series 2002 elimination-style tables match.

Long before the Umaga character, Fatu debuted as Jamal, as one half of ‘Three Minute Warning.’ Three Minute Warning lost a very enjoyable match to open WWE Survivor Series 2002, and help build up the return of D-Von Dudley and a “Dudley Boyz” reunion. You can’t expect a technical classic from a tables match, but this hard hitting match was a personal favorite of mine from the short run of 3MW.

Honorable mention: WWE WrestleMania 23′s Battle of the Billionaires: Umaga (representing Mr McMahon) vs Bobby Lashley (representing Donald Trump).

This was one of my least favorite angles of all-time, but it got a lot of mainstream media coverage due to involvement by Donald Trump. It got so much coverage that I was sick of hearing about it after a while and was glad when it was over. In an effort to try to build Bobby Lashley into a modern-day Hulk Hogan, they needed a monster ‘heel’ character (a bad guy). That heel was Umaga. The match was the main attraction of the event and helped WWE WrestleMania 23 become the biggest selling pay-per-view wrestling event in history. From a business standpoint in the wrestling world, you can’t get any more successful than that.

What was your favorite Umaga match in WWE?

UFC's head honcho Dana White

Eager MMA fans in the Boston area can rejoice: Governer Deval Patrick has signed a new bill that allows regulation for mixed martial arts in Massachusetts.

The number one mixed martial arts promotion, Ultimate Fighting Championship, will benefit greatly from this signing as it breaks into new territories as more and more states sign legislation to sanction fighting events.

UFC President Dana White, born in Connecticut, considers Boston his ‘home’ and is excited to have the opportunity to debut Ultimate Fighting Championship in the state.

White wants to hold an event at Fenway Park, but TD Bank Garden is the likely option. This is a big step for the sport as it allows it to expand into markets that may have only previously been reached by pay-per-view.

UFC is on the rise as the next big thing, replacing WWE’s ‘attidude era’ for in-your-face sports, reality, and entertainment.

Brock Lesnar

The bill has been passed, but no official dates have been planned, but with a political step this big for the sport, it will be no surprise if UFC announces their debut as soon as 2010.

UFC is still on the heels of the success of their 100th event where one of their top stars, Brock Lesnar, gave a controversial post-match interview that insulted their biggest sponsor, Bud Light.

That success has been on rocky waters as of late, as Lesnar has been hospitalized with a severe stomach illness that may possibly jeopardize the future of his career.

The end of Lesnar’s career could be a major blow to UFC and the sport of MMA in general as a box office draw, but expanding to new markets is an essential step towards the continuous uphill climb to success.

Finally, TNA is worth some attention!

For the first time in I can’t possibly determine how long, I sat through an entire Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling (TNA) event. This time it was a pay-per-view—Turning Point 2009. Turning Point featured a back-to-basics main event that finally got the backbone of TNA into the spotlight once again—X-Division veterans AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, and Christopher Daniels. The triple threat match was a rematch of the Unbreakable 2005 main event, the only time the X-Division title has ever been the main event focus of a pay-per-view, but this time, four years later, AJ Styles defends the TNA World championship against Joe and Daniels.

In a rematch of what many fans consider to be the best main event in TNA history, AJ Styles retained the World title. If the 2005 main event was the best ever, then this was an easy contender for the number two spot, as it was simply phenomenal. Several near-falls and creative spots kept me on the edge of my seat, and I would have to say that these three men are the heart of that company—not Kurt Angle or any former WWE stars. It’s been a while since we’ve seen a ‘TNA Original’ (to steal a term from WWE) main event and it was refreshing to see such a good one again. One key moment saw an incredible chain of reversals between Daniels and Styles consisting of a Last Rites by Daniels, reversed into an Angel’s Wings by Styles, reversed into a bridge pin by Daniels, which Daniels flipped back out of into a standing position to lift Styles into his own finisher, the Styles Clash. The Clash attempt was not successful, however, due to a super-kick to Daniels by Samoa Joe. This is the type of excitement that is needed in professional wrestling today.

In a nearly-equal contender for match-of-the-night, Kurt Angle defeated newcomer Desmond Wolfe in a modern technical classic paralleled in American wrestling only by William Regal and the late Chris Benoit. Known on the indie-wrestling scene as Nigel McGuinness, Wolfe made his debut in the six-sided ring at Turning Point against the perfect opponent, Kurt Angle, arguably the world’s best wrestler at the moment, and 1996 Olympic Gold Medalist for amateur wrestling. While McGuinness’s career did not involve the Olympic Games, he did play a game of keep-away with Ring of Honor’s top championships, holding the Pure Championship for 350 days and the World Championship for 545 days, thanks to his expertise as an in-ring technician. His debut as Wolfe was no different, as he went toe-to-toe and counter-for-counter with Angle at Turning Point.

Other great matches include Tara (former WWE diva Victoria) vs Awesome Kong in a female David vs Goliath story in the ‘six sides of steel’ cage match, and a 3-way match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship involving champions The British Invasion defending against Beer Money, Inc. and the Motor City Machine Guns. There wasn’t really a bad match on the card; even Scott Steiner’s match with Bobby Lashley was entertaining. I expected it to be a train wreck, but Scott Steiner can still ‘go.’ With the recent acquisition of the biggest star in the history of professional wrestling, Hulk Hogan, upcoming feuds including the continuation of Wolfe vs Angle, Lashley vs Steiner, and the upcoming feud between ECW Icon Raven and hardcore legend Mick Foley, TNA is starting to really pick up steam. An increase in ratings is the injection of adrenaline that the industry needs to spark creativity once more and wake the sleeping giant that is WWE. Ratings don’t happen overnight, but with the involvement of Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff, the mountain just got a little bit less steep.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIrNu8Zbxr4

You can catch the stars of TNA live at the Mullins Center in Amherst, Massachusetts on December 5. Despite not being a television taping, this event will not disappoint, as most favorites are scheduled to appear, including “the Phenomenal” AJ Styles, Beer Money, Inc, Amazing Red, Abyss, and Desmond Wolfe. If you are going to the show, be sure to ‘follow’ TNA ring announcer Jeremy Borash on Twitter, as he will be hiding a backstage pass somewhere in the arena, and will announce its location before the show begins.

Last night at UFC 100, former WWE Undisputed Champion and current UFC Champion Brock Lesnar defeated UFC Interim Champion Frank Mir by TKO in the second round.  After trash-talking by Frank Mir directed towards Brock Lesnar’s previous profession (professional wrestler in WWE), Brock Lesnar gets the last laugh.

Brock Lesnar’s battle with Frank Mir

A bloodied Frank Mir was humbled by the 265 lb beast, stating very quietly in his post-match interview that Lesnar had done a good job and he underestimated him.  Lesnar was not as humble, and basked in the limelight of his revenge win and the unification of the two UFC titles.

This limelight, however, was a very unique one, because although Brock Lesnar was celebrating his win, UFC fans in attendance were not sharing his joy.

Brock Lesnar’s post-match tirade

“Keep doing it, I love it,” Brock Lesnar egged the crowd on during booing and jeerin.  They continued to boo him as he laughed and cut a promo better than any he had done before in WWE.

“He had a horseshoe up his ass and I pulled it out and beat him over the head with it,” Brock Lesnar said of Frank Mir.”Talk all the shit you want now!”

Brock Lesnar had harsh words for sponsors, too. “I’m going to go home and drink a coors light, that’s Coors Light, because Bud Light won’t pay me nothing. I want to say hi to my friends and family, and hell, I might even get on top of my wife tonight.  See ya!”

Upon returning to the locker room, Brock Lesnar was reprimanded by UFC President Dana White.

During the post-fight press conference, Lesnar apologized to UFC and Bud Light, and offered an explanation for his actions:

“You guys ask me all the time, ‘Is there anything I can drag over from WWE,’ and I guess you’ve seen a little but tonight. I’m used to selling pay-per-view tickets. I come from a business that is purely entertainment and my coach is the guy that’s the best in the business [referring to McMahon].”

My take on Brock Lesnar’s actions

I can understand that Dana White is working hard to get mainstream sponsors like Bud Light or Burger King.  I do think however that these sponsors may want to realize that if UFC is to overtake WWE, they might want to pull a few of their own tricks.  WWE fans getting bored with the current PG programming might be interested to tune in to UFC fights and see the the former “Next Big Thing” cutting legitimate heel promos as the current “big thing.” It is a classic format that has been used in wrestling throughout the ages and might draw new viewers for UFC.

I’m not a UFC fan at all, and I won’t claim to really know anything about it. However, as a wrestling fan, I can offer the perspective of someone who was finally intrigued by UFC due to a former wrestler having a career in UFC. This is definitely a way to gain viewers while the McMahon giant is sleeping.

In a wrestling fan’s perfect world, Lesnar would start coming to the Octagon to his WWE entrance music, not Enter Sandman. I guess we can dream. Hopefully Brock Lesnar vs Bobby Lashley is a more realistic dream.

Still champ after the Bash: CM Punk

Here’s a quick rundown of the results of tonight’s Bash pay-per-view event.

World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff Hardy wins by disqualification, Punk retains title.

WWE Champion Randy Orton vs. Triple H

Orton wins first fall by disqualification, Triple H quickly wins second fall with a ton of chair shots and a pedigree.  Orton wins third fall and retains championship after interference by Legacy.

ECW Championship Scramble Match

Tommy Dreamer wins the scramble by pinning Christian with about one minute left on the clock. NEW ECW CHAMPION: Tommy Dreamer.

Women’s Champion Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool becomes the first diva to have held both WWE Womens’ divisions’ championships.

Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio

Rey Mysterio becomes a two-time Intercontinental Champion in what was said to have been one of the best matches of the year.

The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler gets the win after Khali was assaulted by Kane with a steel chair.  Kane vs Khali?  We’ve seen it before, and it wasn’t pretty.

John Cena vs. The Miz

John Cena wins by submission after an Attitude Adjustment and an STFU.  No one can really be surprised here.

Unified Tag Team Champions Carlito & Primo vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase

NEW Unified Tag champs crowned: Edge and Chris Jericho.  …What?  Teddy Long added the egotistical duo to the match in an effort to impress Vince McMahon.

This will be my last prediction/results combo as there are too many variables involved with predicting a wrestling event’s results.  That fact, combined with the disappointment of the actual results, makes it increasingly difficult to write predictions.

Jeff Hardy challenges CM Punk for the World Heavyweight Championship.

WWE cleans up the remnants of one of WCW’s most historical annual events, The Great American Bash, as they rename the event to “The Bash.” Here are my last-minute prediction’s for tonight’s end and beginning of eras.

World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy
WWE Champion Randy Orton vs. Triple H
ECW Championship Scramble Match
Women’s Champion Melina vs. Michelle McCool
Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio
The Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler
John Cena vs. The Miz
Unified Tag Team Champions Carlito & Primo vs. Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase

CM Punk will retain his title tonight.  After working yet another supposedly great match with John Morrison on Smackdown, I think (and hope) that a feud with Morrison will be around the corner.  Punk has only had the World Heavyweight Championship since Extreme Rules, so there is no reason for him to drop it tonight.

Orton also has only held his WWE Championship for about the same length of time as Punk’s World Heavyweight title reign, and unfortunately the sleep-inducing, mind-numbing feud with Triple H will continue until SummerSlam.  This should have ended at WrestleMania, but unfortunately fans are subjected to even more Orton/Triple H matches, and the torture will continue through tonights Three Stages of Hell match.  Unfortunately the hell is for the fans, not the competitors.

Orton will retain and Triple H will regain the title at SummerSlam, most likely in a Hell in a Cell match.  There isn’t much else they can do that hasn’t already been given away on free live TV, aside from an inferno match or a straight-out literal fight to the death, and we can safely assume that that neither will happen.

The ECW Scramble match is pretty intriguing and it would honestly be pretty nice to see Finlay get a chance to take the ball and run with it as the top guy on a brand.  At this stage in his career though, I don’t think that will happen.  I really think Swagger will win this one, but I will go with what I want to see.  No one on the corner will have Swagger like Finlay as he wins the ECW title tonight.

The Women’s Championship match will be M.I.A.-lyric-free but will feature two women who are equally entertaining in their own profession:  WWE Women’s champ Melina defends versus Michelle McCool.  I haven’t been following the Women’s division too closely, but if memory serves me correct, Melina has held her belt for a while.  I think McCool will snag herself a Women’s title reign to offset the retaining of the two World Championships later in the program.

In what I already can predict will be the match of the night, Rey Mysterio will keep his mask and earn a win against Chris Jericho.  He will not earn a second Intercontinental Championship reign, however, as his win will come by disqualification, count-out, or any other result that will not switch the title over to Rey’s grasp.

It’s too soon for Mysterio to regain the title, and losing his mask would be a terrible merchandising move.  Much like that tacky spinner belt around Randy Orton’s waist, Rey’s mask is a cash-cow in the merchandising department.

If Great Kahli pins Dolph Ziggler but the entire world is taking a bathroom break or beer run, does does the bell make a sound?  We’ll never know.

John Cena will gain a DQ win over the Miz.  The Miz is a red-hot heel right now and while a 1-2-3 wouldn’t hurt his career that much, I just don’t see it happening tonight.

If Cena pins Miz I’m still saying I called it, however.  I can’t in any way see the Miz earning a win, unfortunately.  The question here is how much Miz will be protected since he is a major prospect.

The Colons will hopefully retain their Unified Tag Team Championship tonight against the tag-team-formerly-known-as “Priceless.”  Carlito seems to finally be in his element and is having a good run as “the” tag-team in the WWE alongside his brother Pimo.  And that’s cool.

Jeff Hardy retained his title...

Judgment Day 2009: 2/7: .286
All-Time: 13/24: 0.542

Well, I was somewhat correct in my predictions for the title changes, but they still didn’t turn out the way I expected.  If you are looking for unpredictability in modern wrestling, WWE has been delivering quite well lately—unless it’s a John Cena match.  Extreme Rules featured four title switches and some surprise moments.

I’m not going to go into too much depth on these matches as I have not yet gotten a chance to watch the pay-per-view, but here are some rough results compared with my picks.

CM Punk def Umaga (Samoan strap match)
My pick:  Umaga
Extreme Rules 2009: 0/1: .000
All-Time: 13/25: 0.520

John Cena def Big Show (submission match)
My pick:  John Cena
Extreme Rules 2009: 1/2: .500
All-Time: 14/26: 0.538

Kofi Kingston def MVP, William Regal, Matt Hardy (US Title)
My pick:  Kofi Kingston
Extreme Rules 2009: 2/3: .666
All-Time: 15/27: 0.556

Tommy Dreamer def Christian & Jack Swagger (Hardcore rules, ECW title) NEW CHAMPION
My pick:  Jack Swagger
Extreme Rules 2009: 2/4: .500
All-Time: 15/28: 0.538

Santina Marella def Vickie Guerrero (hog pen match for ‘Miss WrestleMania’) NEW ‘CHAMPION’
My pick:  Vickie Guerrero
Extreme Rules 2009: 2/5: .600
All-Time: 15/29: 0.517

Chris Jericho def Rey Mysterio (no holds barred, Intercontinental title) NEW CHAMPION
My pick:  Chris Jericho
Extreme Rules 2009: 3/6: .500
All-Time: 16/30: 0.533

Jeff Hardy def Edge (ladder match, World Heavyweight title) NEW CHAMPION
My pick:  Jeff Hardy
Extreme Rules 2009: 4/7: .571
All-Time: 17/31: 0.548

...but not in his second. CM Punk defeated Jeff Hardy to become the new champion.

“Bonus Match”
CM Punk def Jeff Hardy (World Heavyweight title) NEW CHAMPION
My pick: Unadvertised, doesn’t count.

Batista def Randy Orton (steel cage match, WWE title) NEW CHAMPION
My pick: Batista
Extreme Rules 2009: 5/8: .625
All-Time: 18/32: 0.563

If you read my prediction article, you know my stances and opinions on these matches.  Overall, these results look pretty good and I wish I could have seen the pay-per-view without knowing the results first, but that never happens.

Punk’s title win is a nice swerve, even if it seemed like it would happen sooner or later (no one knew when, though).

Dreamer’s title win was a total shocker, and is bittersweet.  Obviously he is staying on the show now, as their champion, which is great to see.  The only problem is, he can’t perform anywhere near the standards that guys like Christian or Swagger have set (or met), yet he’s the show’s champion. It’s a reason to watch ECW, I guess—to see where the angle goes.

Similarly, I am eager to tune into Smackdown to see if Punk is turning heel, how he is accepted by the crowd, or if Jeff Hardy will get a rematch.  Now if I can only find a reason to watch Raw…

Final standings:
Extreme Rules 2009: 5/8: .625
All-Time: 18/32: 0.563

AGAIN?!

It’s June, and time once again for the now-annual all-gimmick WWE pay-per-view event, Extreme Rules.  Last month’s pay-per-view event, Judgment Day, resulted in a shattering blow to my prediction percentages, but hopefully I can boost it back up again with some good calls on this month’s event’s match-ups.

Judgment Day 2009: 2/7: .286
All-Time: 13/24: 0.542

The matches:

CM Punk vs Umaga (Samoan strap match)
John Cena vs Big Show (submission match)
Kofi Kingston vs MVP vs William Regal vs Matt Hardy (US Title)
Christian vs Jack Swagger vs Tommy Dreamer (Hardcore rules, ECW title)
Vickie Guerrero vs Santina Marella (hog pen match for ‘Miss WrestleMania’)
Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho (no holds barred, Intercontinental title)
Edge vs Jeff Hardy (ladder match, World Heavyweight title)
Randy Orton vs Batista (steel cage match, WWE title)

CM Punk vs Umaga
This isn’t a bad feud; but I can’t say I understand where they are going with it, and I have a difficult time caring.  Unless there is interference, I can’t see CM Punk winning this one legitimately.  I mean, Umaga is 350 pounds, so I don’t see Punk dragging him around the ring to touch all four corners.  The weight difference makes this a perfect match type for this feud, however.  I don’t think we will see a Sting/Vader classic, but we will be pleasantly surprised, and Umaga will pick up the win here (I hope).

John Cena vs Big Show
This is sort of intriguing.  In the wrestling equivalent to ‘two bulls in a china shop,’ two not-so-technical-savvy-brawlers face off in a submission match.  The intrigue stops, however, when the realization occurs that Cena will probably win this and further damage any credibility Big Show has as a 7-foot-tall 500-pound monster heel.

Kofi Kingston vs MVP vs William Regal vs Matt Hardy (US Title)
This is probably the best match Raw can offer viewers.  That isn’t a knock at these four guys at all; in fact, they are a breath of fresh air after dealing with the torture of Vickie Guerrero promos.  No matter who wins this match, all four wrestlers and every fan will win because it is likely to be a great match.  I will however pick Kofi to retain, however, because it would be a travesty for him to lose the belt after winning it less than a week ago.  I will point out that it’s humorous that WWE considers ‘fatal-four-way’ to be a gimmick.

Christian vs Jack Swagger vs Tommy Dreamer (ECW title)
As much as I’d love to see it happen, I can’t see Tommy Dreamer winning here.  He will take the fall and jump over to Raw or Smackdown, where he will be jobbed out and eventually released.  Even though he has the heart and the name recognition, he’s just too damn slow and sloppy to be kept around for much longer.  Swagger pins Dreamer and gets the heel heat for pushing Dreamer out of his ‘home.’  Christian and Swagger continue feuding.

Vickie Guerrero vs Santina Marella (Miss WrestleMania)
Should I even bother for a pick on this?  This sounds like how a Kayfabe Commentaries “Guest Booker: Vince Russo” DVD would pan out.  Not pretty.  Not in any way.

I rest my case

Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho (Intercontinental title)
If the fatal-four-way doesn’t steal the show, this match will.  Jericho already holds the record for most Intercontinental championship reigns—eight—and will further that record with a win over Mysterio.  Not that WWE really cares about preserving the history and dignity of World Championship Wrestling, but a rematch at next month’s pay-per-view, “The Bash,” would be a nice throwback to the old WCW days.  (The Great American Bash, now just known as The Bash, was an annual WCW event dating as far back as 1985.)

Edge vs Jeff Hardy (World Heavyweight title)
Jeff Hardy re-signed with WWE, so he’ll be around for a while longer.  He’s ‘over like rover,’ as they say, and it’s his turn for a second reign.  This will be a great match, but a spot-fest; after all, it’s a Jeff Hardy match.  It’s also a ladder match, and I expect both Edge and Jeff to pull out all the stops for this one.

Randy Orton vs Batista (WWE title)
My percentage is going to take another massive hit I think, as I am picking all three world championships AND the Intercontinental championship to change hands.  Batista will win, turn heel, and feud with Triple H.  After all, it was Batista’s fault Triple H lost the WWE title (kayfabe).

Groan....

Last night’s Raw broadcast went exactly as expected. Vince McMahon confronted an actor who played the part of Enos S. Kroenke, the owner of the Denver Nuggets, and the five-on-five Lakers-versus-Nuggets faces-versus-heels main event closed out the show but left much to be desired.

In the McMahon vs Kronke segment, an actor came out dressed to look like Kroenke, and became the butt of many jokes from Vince McMahon, mostly involving various words that rhyme with his first name, Enos. The real Kroenke will probably not care, but McMahon got the last laugh by entertaining the hometown L.A. fans, shoving the actor to the ground.

The Miz came out to throw in his two cents and to get cheap heel heat. He said he would be wearing a Nuggets jersey tonight but everyone knows who the real NBA champions will be. He then ripped away his shirt to reveal a Cleveland Cavaliers jersey. Playing to the hometown crowd based on their opponents in other sports is a classic staple of modern wrestling television. Works every time. It worked at Judgment Day with Alfonso Soriano, and it worked tonight.

The main event had a LONG, BORING introduction. As if Raw’s airtime wasn’t already saturated by long entrances, it was made even worse by announcing each wrestler over the PA system, to mimic an NBA playoff game. Why Jerry Lawler was in this match no one will ever really know, but the King always gets a huge pop no matter what crowd he is in front of. Put any Attitude-era guy next to John Cena and Batista and he’s going to get a huge pop. (Unless it’s Billy and Chuck… that might be a 50/50 split…)

The ‘Lakers’ won the match in their hokey jerseys in an incredibly pointless, crowded main event. M.V.P. got the pin. It is great to see they are pushing M.V.P. and he will be defending his United States Championship against Kofi Kingston next week on Raw. As far as main storylines go, this main event was a bad idea, but it did achieve the goal in mind: ratings. It got me to watch Raw, so I’m sure there were other people whose interests were captured. I wouldn’t be surprised if it showed up SportsCenter or other more mainstream news, either.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PL2SQKYfS4M

The MVP of the night: Dustin Rhodes, in a segment reenacting a scene from “A Few Good Men” as Golddust with Hornswaggle to try to impress a Jack Nicholson look-not-very-much-alike. “You can’t handle the tru-ru-ru-ru-ru-ruth” (As the storyline goes, he was electrocuted a few years ago, but he’s OK now. Buh Buh Ray Dudley rip-off much?) It was dumb, but I laughed.

The runner-up: The Miz. If anyone finds a clip of this promo, leave a comment.

The problem at hand was that the Lakers beating the Rockets meant the Denver Nuggets would NOT have home court advantage.  This was a problem for World Wrestling Entertainment because they had first dibs on the arena for a live TV taping of Raw, and a contract to back it up, signed in August 2008.  Had the Rockets won, this conflict would not have arisen, because game four of the next round of the playoffs would have taken place in Houston, not Denver.

NBA, WWE grapple over Denver booking conflict – ESPN.

Booking issues common despite WWE’s outrage – ESPN.

WWE moves Monday Raw to Los Angeles due to Denver Nuggets conflict – ESPN.

Fortunately for Kroenke Sports and WWE, the Los Angeles Staples Center has offered the use of their facility to WWE.  On the night of Game 4 of Denver vs Los Angeles, WWE will hold Raw live at the Staples Center, in front of a hot crowd eager to trample over Denver.  The fans will get their wishes as there is expected to be a joke angle involving a 5-on-5 Lakers vs Nuggets ‘match.’  This will gain even more media attention and go over really well with the hometown Lakers fans.

Unfortunately, we will not get to see McMahon take legal action against Kroenke Sports for their blatant breech of contract.

Works for me!

Sunday night brought WWE fans the eleventh annual Judgment Day pay-per-view event, featuring a stacked card with three main events.  Was justice served?

No Way Out 2009: 2/5: .400
All-Time: 11/18: 0.611

CM Punk vs Umaga
The Samoan Bulldozer takes on the 2009 Money in the Bank winner CM Punk to kick off Judgment Day.  Punk comes out to the ring to a pretty decent pop from the 14,822 hometown Chicago fans in attendance.  The match was pretty much one-sided, with Punk getting manhandled and desperately trying to land a random strike or two.  It was reminiscent of a standard Rey Mysterio match, but far more believable (no 619s here, folks).  In one pretty ‘old-school’ spot, Punk attempted to scoop slam Umaga, and Umaga fell on top of Punk for a two-count.  It reminded me of the Legends of WrestleMania game, if you try to scoop Andre as Hulk when you don’t have a level 3 chain.  (You would have to have played it…)

Punk’s downfall comes as the result of a failed Go-2-Sleep attempt, leading to an absolute one-two-three MAULING by Umaga.  Samoan Spike, 1, 2, 3.

Winner: Umaga
My Pick: CM Punk

Judgment Day 2009: 0/1: .000
All-Time: 11/19: 0.579

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxJGNbHPTbM

ECW Championship:  Christian (c) vs Jack Swagger
This match was decent, and had the illusion of being a ‘big match’ because the names were announced after both competitors were in the ring.  I think the “Peeps” were on a beer or bathroom run, because there was a lot of dead air during the match.  I like where they are going with the angle, though.  Christian wrestles like a veteran who knows how to get out of certain situations.  If Swagger cheats, it’s because he’s a heel.  If Christian cheats, he’s still a face; it’s because he has that veteran edge.  So a heel versus a ‘face who acts like a heel’ is an interesting concept and feels fresh.  It for some reason reminds me of the Matt Hardy / MVP odd-couple from last year.  Decent match; Christian wins with a handful of tights and a roll-up.

Winner: Christian
My Pick: Jack Swagger

Judgment Day 2009: 0/2: .000

All-Time: 11/20: 0.550

John Morrison vs Shelton Benjamin (w/Charlie Haas)
Disclaimer:  I am a huge John Morrison fan, so excuse the bias.  However, I legitimately blurted out “HOLY SHIT!” when Morrison pulled off what I call a “springboard 450 Double Ax-Handle Smash” from the top rope to the outside.  Shortly after that, the fans followed suit with a ‘holy shit’ chant.  Another bright spot of the match was a head-scissors into a side russian legsweep.  I can’t say I’ve ever seen that done before. (See 1:25 in the following clip)

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxU_hyfWY0Y

Winner:  John Morrison with that crazy split-legged corkscrew moonsault, “Starship Pain.”
My Pick:  Shelton Benjamin.  But I am proud to be wrong.

Judgment Day 2009: 0/3: .000
All-Time: 11/21: 0.524

Unannounced Verbal Match-Up:  The Miz vs John Morrison / John Cena / Chicago / Chicago Cubs / Alfonoso Soriano / Santino Marella?
The Miz struts down to the ring, and congratulates Marty Janetty–ah, he meant John Morrison.  He really said Marty Janetty, and I laughed pretty loudly at that one.  Miz said Vickie Guerrero looks like a pig, and Vladmir Kozlov looks like Sam the Eagle, with side-by-side pictures shown on the video screen.  Hilarious. Miz called out Cena again, trash-talked Chicago, and challenged Alfonso Soriano to be Cena’s replacement.  In the runner-up to the quote of the night, Miz told Soriano, “You can’t see…a World Series ring as long as you play for the Cubs.”  Soriano just stood there with no reaction whatsoever.  I hope he didn’t get paid for that appearance.  People say acting in wrestling is bad, but Alfonso Soriano’s acting in the wrestling world is even worse.

Santino Marella’s music hits and confuses the hell out of pretty much everyone.  Marella claims he came out to defend Sorrrrrrrrriano, because he is a fellow Italian (ha ha ha).  Then, he delivers the line of the night:

“I hope you brought a metal detector.”
“Why?”
“I brought some guns,” (tears rip-away sleeves off of his shirt) “and I’m not afraid to use them.”

Miz hits a killer DDT on Santino, reminiscent of Raven’s Evenflow DDT, but it’s not over yet.  Chavo runs to the ring and hits a frog splash on Miz for insulting Vickie.  This whole angle was the one of the funniest and most well-delivered promo I have seen in a while.  It also opens up doors for many fresh feuds we have never seen before:  Miz vs Morrison, Miz vs Cena, Miz vs Santino (as a face?), and Chavo vs Santino (face).

Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio (c) vs Chris Jericho
This was as good as a modern Rey Mysterio match can be, which is still good, but you can predict every spot and it’s pretty unbelievable.  However, as I stated in my predictions, Chris Jericho makes this mid-card match feel as if it were headlining the show.  Jericho fails to set a nine-time title reign record and Rey Mysterio stays undefeated at Judgment Day events (4-0).

Winner:  Rey Mysterio
My Pick:  Rey Mysterio

Judgment Day 2009: 1/4: .250
All-Time: 12/21: 0.571

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIJZ0NMhVe8

WWE Championship:  Randy Orton vs Batista
I had a difficult time even paying attention to this match.  I find it funny that the WWE Championship is the most prestigious belt in the business, yet rarely seems to headline the pay-per-views.  That sure tells you a lot about Edge, I guess.  Batista’s stupid posing during his entrance wasn’t in sync with the pyro, so it looked goofy.  As goofy as a guy squatting pretending to shoot a machine gun (if that’s what he’s doing) can look.  Boring match, but Orton does a good job drawing in the cheap heel heat every chance he gets.  Eventually Legacy runs in and gives Batista the win via disqualification.  Then, Ric Flair runs to the ring and cleans house.  I told you, you couldn’t pay me to watch Raw.  Raw’s main event faction just got wiped out by a sixty-year-old.  Good riddance.  Maybe the next match will bet–no, it won’t.

Winner:  Batista by DQ
My Pick:  Randy Orton

Judgment Day 2009: 1/5: .200
All-Time: 12/22: 0.545

John Cena vs Big Show
I really thought WWE would finally throw a bone to the best big man in the business, but no.  Cena oversells a rib injury through the entire match, yet he can miraculously attempt his goofy-looking flying ax handle attack and lift Show for an Attitude Adjustment.  The announcers called it a ‘miracle win.’  How is it a miracle when he wins nearly every pay-per-view match in which he’s booked?  It would be a miracle for..ah, what’s the use.  Just don’t watch Raw.

Winner: Super Cena
My Pick:  Big Show

Judgment Day 2009: 1/6: .167
All-Time: 12/23: 0.522

World Heavyweight Championship:  Edge (c) vs Jeff Hardy
I’m a big fan of Edge, and he always delivers.  There were a few interesting spots in this match.  It wasn’t amazing but it was a solid main event.  It was your typical Edge main event: tons of near falls.  And, it was your typical Jeff Hardy main event, with random, crazy, and exciting (but sloppy) spots.  I noticed Jeff was wearing a necklace that had a bit of a sharp point on it.  I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, one of these days he’s going to mess up a spot and get stabbed in the jugular by his own necklace.

In one pretty predictable but still exciting spot, Hardy ran across the barricade into a spear from Edge that dropped “seven feet to the floor.”  OK, Jim Ross.  Edge retains with some help from Matt Hardy’s cast.  TOP ROPE IMPALER DDT.

Winner:  Edge
Pick:  Edge

Judgment Day 2009: 2/7: .286
All-Time: 13/24: 0.542

Well, I’m above .500.  Overall this was a pretty solid pay-per-view.  The undercard stole the show for the most part, but that makes for a great pay-per-view.  No one wants to have an event with a bunch of filler and a decent/good main event.  There’s a name for that:  Raw.

Judgment Day Flashback: 2003

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGglhWNZm_Y

Judgment Day 2009

Judgment Day is here, and it’s tonight! I have been a little out of the loop and have only seen Friday’s Smackdown show but have been keeping up on storylines and developments.  Here are my predictions for tonight’s show.

No Way Out 2009: 2/5: .400
All-Time: 11/18: 0.611

Shelton Benjamin vs John Morrison
In what I think will be the opening match, Shelton Benjamin will pin John Morrison.  WWE clearly has some plans in mind for John Morrison, but this will stretch out for a bit longer because John Morrison needs that momentum to be built up to successfully be put over in his first angle as a face.  I was surprised to see the match announced but pretty happy because it’s the first step in pushing John Morrison.  I mean, it’s a non-title pay-per-view singles match, and I can’t remember if he has had one of those yet–especially not as a face.  Shelton will win,this feud will continue, and possibly include someone else.

My pick: Shelton Benjamin, the Gold Standard… who… has no gold…

CM Punk vs Umaga
I really don’t have an interest in this match at all.  I like Punk; I’m glad that he will probably get another run sometime soon.  I like Umaga, too.  But I think this is a losing situation for either.  If Umaga wins, it will make a potential World Champion candidate look weak, when they need to build him up.  It won’t do much for Umaga, becuase it’s not for the briefcase, and he doesn’t stand to gain much from winning.  If he loses, it will yet again make Umaga look weak, similar to the weakness shown last year when he was Jeff Hardy’s personal porta-jobber.  A win for Punk would build Punk up for a title run, but it isn’t needed, nor would it believable.  Punk is already over with the fans.

My pick:  CM Punk.  But, It really doesn’t matter.

Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio (c) vs Chris Jericho
Rey will retain here.  I have a gut feeling that the World Heavyweight Championship title scene will evolve into a fatal-four-way feud  for the Extreme Rules pay-per-view.  Jericho’s confidence in announcing his ninth Intercontinental title reign tells me Mysterio will retain.  On Smackdown, Edge bragged that he is a nine time World Champion.  That is what’s great about Jericho; he is an eight time Intercontinental Champion.  For the most part, he is a career upper-midcarder, best used as that guy who is so good he should be in the main event.  However, he’s really best used as that upper-midcarder who makes that portion of the show BETTER than the main event.

Even with Rey Mysterio involved, we have one of the best angles ever in the works.  If Jericho does win here, they could do an ‘end the ninth reign’ angle–title versus title–between Jericho and Edge.  However, that would be far too good to happen.

My pick:  Rey Mysterio retains Intercontinental Championship (42 days)

ECW Championship:  Christian (c) vs Jack Swagger
Despite not following him too often, Jack Swagger has grown on me, based on what I’ve seen.  I think it’s too soon for any of the championships to change hands, but one probably should, and it might be this one.  That is part of the problem with having three major championships change hands on one pay-per-view.  You are probably going to expect all three champions to retain their championships the next month.  I pick Swagger to regain his championship here.  Feud with Tommy Dreamer?

My pick:  Jack Swagger wins second ECW Championship.

WWE Championship:  Randy Orton vs Batista
Not a Batista fan, and you couldn’t pay me to watch Raw, but Batista would look weird with the WWE Championship belt, since fans are so used to seeing him with the World Heavyweight Championship.  Since a heel turn for Batista is rumored to be (hopefully) coming soon, Orton will probably retain.

My pick:  Randy Orton retains WWE Championship (21 days)

John Cena vs Big Show
Part of me could care less about this match, and part of me will mark out like I did when Cena FU’d Big Show to open WrestleMania 20, five years ago.  A lot has changed, however.  This match is non-title, and John Cena has since become a multiple-time World Champion, a movie star (debatable), and whether everyone likes it or not, a dependable and solid main event WWE star.  Unfortunately, that ‘wow’ moment will happen again but less people will care, unless they find a way to make it interesting.  Not that it wouldn’t be an amazing feat, because it would be, but we have seen it before.  Hell, we nearly saw that at Backlash, with EDGE piled on top of Big Show.

Big Show will win here because it’s a non-title match.  You can generally count on Cena to win practically every title match he’s booked in, but to break up the monotony, he will hopefully lose this non-title match.  Hopefully they are priming Big Show for a championship run.  Big Show versus Orton or Batista would be interesting and fresh.  Keep your fingers crossed.

My pick:  Big Show gets a ‘giant’ win over Cena.

World Heavyweight Championship:  Edge (c) vs Jeff Hardy
Edge wins.  Hardy pointed out the pattern of wins/losses for Edge on Smackdown, and they’re going to break that up a bit.  Edge will finally get a lengthier reign.  It is still unknown is Hardy is even re-signing with WWE, and he might use a title reign request as an incentive to re-sign, but it’s doubtful that WWE would go along with that.  However, Jeff Hardy is OVER, and WWE will not want to risk losing Jeff to TNA.*

My pick:  Edge retains World Heavyweight Championship (21 days)

*WWE will not be afraid of a ratings increase for TNA due to an acquisition of Jeff Hardy.  They will be afraid of TNA destroying the hard work WWE has done into building Hardy into a draw.  It’s inevitable.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p2iLpPzpR2k

“Playboy” Buddy Rose: Paul Perschmann (November 27, 1952 – April 28, 2009)

“Playboy” Buddy Rose – 1952-2009

Paul Perschmann, better known to wrestling fans as “Playboy” Buddy Rose, was found dead today by his wife in his home. The cause of death is currently unknown but is believed to be related to blood sugar and diabetes complications.

Buddy Rose’s Wrestling Career

“Playboy” Buddy Rose made his professional debut as a wrestler in the 1970s and made a name for himself in Pacific Northwest Wrestling in now-historic feuds with Roddy Piper and “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka. Rose made his way to the WWF and even headlined shows at Madison Square Garden for the WWF World Heavyweight title against champion Bob Backlund.

“Playboy” Buddy Rose opens WrestleMania

Buddy Rose holds the distinction of competing in the first-ever Wrestlemania match, under a mask, as “Executioner,” losing to Tito Santana. Rose wrestled his last match in 2005 but did not leave the business for good, opening a wrestling school in Portland.

What’s YOUR favorite “Playboy” Buddy Rose memory?

Reid Fliehr

21-year-old Richard Reid Fliehr, son of professional wrestling legend Ric Flair, was arrested on March 4th for driving while impared.  Fliehr was released on $1000 bail, and was arrested again on April 27th.  This time, Fliehr faces felony charges, after police found heroin in his car during the arrest, which–again–was for driving while impared.

The police report can be found at the web site of the Sheriff’s Office of Mecklenburg County, North Carolina.

Reid sure has grown up since wrestling fans last remember him…

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRfTg2fcsdA

lolwut? He won WHAT? ....How? Read and see...

Shocking doesn’t do justice in describing Sunday’s No Way Out pay per view.  In a definite ‘foot-in-mouth’ moment, I was wrong with nearly all of my predictions.  In a pay-per-view that looked absolutely horrid on paper, the WWE roster and creative team developed a thrilling, edge-of-your-seat (no pun intended) show.

The spontaneous events that occurred were reminiscent of the pre-internet days, or the monday night wars, where as kids, our suspension of disbelief kept reeling us into the shows week after week.  After all, anything could happen.

Here’s a quick breakdown on my picks and how they turned out.

Unforgiven 2008 Prediction Average: 3/6: .500
All-Time: 9/14: .643

Triple H wins Edge’s WWE Championship.  (incorrect–I had picked Edge to retain.)
This match was unexpectedly the opener of the show, and it was pretty damn exciting to see Edge lose in three minutes.  However, the obvious assumption was that Triple McH would pad his title count by the end of the night.
No Way Out 2009: 0/1: .000
All-Time: 9/15: 0.600

Swagger def. Finlay (correct)
For some reason this seemed really obvious to me and it would have been illogical for Finlay to win.  Then again, I find it difficult to care about ECW at all these days.
No Way Out 2009: 1/2: .500
All-Time: 10/16: 0.625

Randy Orton def. Shane McMahon (correct)
There was no way they could kill his heat.  His run starting with his Royal Rumble 2009 win has been red-hot and the payoff will be at WrestleMania.
No Way Out 2009: 2/3: .667
All-Time: 11/17: 0.647

Shawn Michaels def. JBL (correct)
I did call the Undertaker angle—they just did it differently.  Unfortunately, I picked the match incorrectly.
No Way Out 2009: 2/4: .500
All-Time: 11/18: 0.611

Edge wins John Cena’s World Heavyweight Championship.  (incorrect–I picked John Cena to retain.)
Allow me to act like a kid again and say, “OMG!!!!111111  THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!1111″
This moment was completely unexpected and stole the entire show.  There’s pretty much no way to predict something like this, and it left viewers with no clue what WrestleMania would have for main event matches.  I don’t know if it’s because of their biggest show being right around the corner, but WWE is making an effort to make normally crappy pay-per-view events seem special.
No Way Out 2009: 2/5: .400
All-Time: 11/18: 0.611

One thing is for sure, the programing leading up to WrestleMania is bound to get better and better.

This article was previously published on BleacherReport.com.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOEF5g1oKXc

The rest: Part 2 | Part 3

Cutting right to the chase, here is the line-up for tonight’s WWE No Way Out 2009 pay-per-view event:

ECW Championship
Champion Jack Swagger vs Finlay

Shawn Michaels vs JBL

Randy Orton vs Shane McMahon

Elimination Chamber – World Heavyweight Championship
Champion John Cena vs Kane, Kofi Kingston, Rey Mysterio, Chris Jericho, & Mike Knox

Elimination Chamber – WWE Championship
Champion Edge vs Undertaker, Triple H, Big Show, Vladmir Koslov, & Jeff Hardy

I would first like to say that this looks like half of a pay-per-view card.  While there are two chamber matches, which will likely eat up a full hour or more of the show including promos and introductions, this still doesn’t look much like a purchase-worthy card.

Unforgiven 2008 Prediction Average: 3/6: .500
All-Time: 9/14: .643

Swagger to def. Finlay
With Christian coming into ECW and immediately pinning the champion, look for Swagger to want revenge.  Unless there is some other heel to feud with him as the champion, there’s no real reason for Finlay to win the championship tonight.  Swagger will likely retain the title, and feud against either Christian or Tommy Dreamer at WrestleMania, with the other appearing in the Money in the Bank match.

JBL to def. Shawn Michaels.
This feud isn’t quite over yet, and I expect it to end in a big way at WrestleMania.  I predict that at WrestleMania the Undertaker will face either Layfield or Michaels, as an extension or off-shoot of the employment storyline.

Randy Orton to def. Shane McMahon
I am not sure if there are any stipulations around this match, but Orton is red-hot these days, having won the 2009 Royal Rumble and being one of the top heels in the company.

I expect him to be pushed strongly, but he will have a surprisingly equal-offense match with Vince Jr., as Shane has always delivered in big pay-per-view matches.  This match will steal the show and will probably involve everything but the kitchen sink.

John Cena to win Elimination Chamber
I can’t see Orton challenging for anything other than Raw’s championship, for some reason, and I can’t see anyone in this match winning the belt from Cena, aside from possibly Chris Jericho.

They would not book a heel vs. heel match for WrestleMania, so Cena will win.  Mike Knox winning here, although unlikely, would be an oddly-pleasant surprise given his recent breakthrough as a bearded man-beast reminiscent of crazy powerhouses of the past—in the vein of Bruiser Brody.  I really can’t see Rey, Kofi, or Kane (at least not with how he’s been booked lately) ever having title reigns either.

Edge to win Elimination Chamber
I just can’t see anyone winning the championship in this chamber either.  To me, it would not make sense and might not make for good options for WrestleMania matches.  There is not much else to say aside from a prediction that Edge will retain in some sort of underhanded manner.

This article was previously published on BleacherReport.com.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LooMPSgI2tA

Randy Robinson: A strangely autobiographical role for Rourke

If a sports fan is asked to name a great movie dedicated to their preferred choice, most would have no difficulty rattling off a lengthy list of respectable films. Baseball fans would most likely name Field of Dreams. Football fans’ answer to this question would easily be Rudy, Remember the Titans, or Friday Night Lights. Basketball enthusiasts may name Coach Carter as a good movie to represent their sport. Boxing fans could easily pick a great movie for their sport, from the relatively recent academy award winning “Million Dollar Baby,” to the mega-successful Rocky franchise, to the Robert Deniro classic,”Raging Bull.” Wrestling fans, however, would be completely stumped when asked to find a ‘classic’ for their genre. The last wrestling movie to feature the ‘sport’ of professional wrestling was 2000′s “Ready to Rumble,” a comedy that made a mockery of washed-up broken-down veterans. Nearly nine years later, director Darren Aronofsky decided to take a more serious approach at a film about a washed up 80′s pro-wrestling star, with his critically-acclaimed movie, “The Wrestler.”

“The Wrestler” stars Mickey Rourke as Robin Ramsinzky, a pro-wrestler better known by his ring-name, Randy “The Ram” Robinson. In Robinson’s glory days, he headlined sold-out events in Madison Square Garden, “the world’s most famous arena,” as described in the introducton to the movie. The contrast between the past and present stands out harshly as the pictures and sounds from his days of glory change to a shot of the same man sitting in a tiny locker room, coughing, twenty years later. With his days of glory long behind him, down-on-his-luck former pro-wrestling star now resides in a trailer-park and still works wrestling matches for small crowds, despite his broken-down body. Not only does the hearing-aid-equipped Ram live in a trailer park, but he at one point was unable to pay his bills and had his trailer locked up, forcing him to spend the night in his busted-up Dodge Ram van.

The Ram works a bloody match in CZW.

The Ram now headlines indie wrestling events at venues as small as reception halls and high-school gymnasiums, taking any booking he can get in order to earn a living. Despite his current condition, he is respected and revered by the entire lockerroom at these events, as he was most likely the reason many of these men decided to become professional wrestlers. Respect does not pay bills, however, so even twenty years past his prime, resorting to even taking a booking for a hardcore match involving staple guns, barbed wire, and glass. The old-school star is completely out of his element and the pain of the match eventually results in a heart attack, which forces him to give up wrestling. Still having to make a living, he takes on extra hours at a local supermarket, beind the deli counter. After realizing he still has nothing, he considers risking a comeback.

Randy’s only family is his estranged daughter, Stephanie (Evan Rachel Wood), who holds a grudge against her father for being on the road throughout her entire childhood. Ram’s love interest is an aging stripper, Pam (Marisa Tomei), who develops a friendship with the wrestler but reminds him that there is an ‘uncrossable line’ between her and her customers. Rourke’s character truly has no one in this movie, and it is, for the most part, a complete downer, except for one scene. Ram temporarily reconciles with his daughter, and they waltz in an abandoned, broken-down ballroom. This is a symbolic scene, as such a grungy location could host a beautiful moment like a father dancing with his daughter, which in a way is an analogy for The Ram. No matter how broken down and worthless the world may view him, he still loves his daughter. In one of the most emotional scenes of the movie, The Ram says, “I’m a broken down piece of meat, and I deserve to be alone. I just don’t want you to hate me.”

Teacher and student: wrestling veteran Afa with Mickey Rourke.

The movie is very authentic, with all wrestling scenes filmed in between matches of real wrestling events from promotions like Combat Zone Wrestling and Ring of Honor. The movie features cameos of wrestlers, from current WWE star Ron “R-Truth” Killings to the hardcore indie-favorite “Necro Butcher,” to the recently deceased “Paul E. Normous.” While Rourke used a stunt double for his hardcore scene with Necro Butcher, he did undergo training from WWE Hall of Famer Afa Anoai in order to legitimately pull off wrestling manuevers in the other scenes.

It seems as if every scene and detail has a meaning or analogy. Marisa Tomei’s academy award-nominated role as the aging stripper parallels the Ram’s story as she gets older and less successful at her job, feeling less and less needed by society. The majority of the soundtrack is hair metal; stars of the 1980′s, many of which may now be considered washed up, just like the Ram.

The movie is lower budget compared to most feature films, and is shot in a very close-up, gritty, documentary-style manner. In one of the deli scenes, real customers interact with Rourke in truly improvisational moments, as the movie’s budget could not afford the complete closing of the real supermarket in which the scenes were filmed. In the final wrestling match scene of the movie, the Ram uses Guns N Roses’ Sweet Child O Mine as his entrance music, a tune that would ordinarily come with a hefty price tag of $1.5 million, donated free of charge by Axl Rose, in consideration of the movie’s low budget.

Reportedly, Rourke was not paid for his role, because no one would financially back a movie with him in the starring role. The common perception of Rourke that he was a volatile, undependable, washed-up bad-boy who would pose a great risk as an investment. In many ways, ths movie eerily paralleled Rourke’s own career in the acting world. Rourke’s final speech as the Ram sounds almost autobiographical: “I don’t hear as good as I used to and I forget stuff and I aint as pretty as I used to be but god damn it I’m still standing here and I’m The Ram. As times goes by, as times goes by, they say “he’s washed up”, “he’s finished” , “he’s a loser”, “he’s all through”. You know what? The only one that’s going to tell me when I’m through doing my thing is you people here.”

Without runing any major plot points, it’s important to say that this is not a feel-good movie. This movie is more Raging Bull than it is Rocky, and Rourke’s nomination for the oscar for best actor is truly warranted and deserved. It is a travesty, however, that the movie was snubbed in the best picture category, and that Bruce Springsteen (who wrote the title song, “The Wrestler,” free of charge) was also snubbed in the best song category. Springsteen’s “The Wrestler” plays during the ending credits.

Flair will be at ringside at WrestleMania, but how will Rourke be involved?

Rourke’s comeback is about to come full-circle, as he is planned to make his way to the Reliant Stadium in Houston, Texas, to work a match against WWE’s Chris Jericho at the 25th annual WrestleMania–wrestling’s equivalent to the Super Bowl–in front of well over seventy-thousand screaming fans. Given Rourke’s dedication to training for The Wrestler, he is bound to work hard to put on a good performance at WrestleMania. WrestleMania has had celebrity appearances since day one, whether it was the WrestleMania II appearances by Ray Charles, Cab Calloway, and Ozzy Osbourne, or the Wrestlemania 24′s appearances by Floyd Mayweather and Snoop Dogg. However, never before has WrestleMania featured a match with an Academy Award winner, or even an nominee. In late February, the world will find out if Rourke will approach WrestleMania as a winner or just a nominee. Win or lose, the event is bound to be a success, and wrestling fans around the world will echo Springsteen’s sentiments: “Tell me friend, can you ask for anything more?”

Note:

Some time after I wrote and published this review, a review popped up on Buntology.com.  My point of view is obviously that of a wrestling fan, but if you would like to read the opinions of someone who isn’t a wrestling fan and saw this movie, check out Matt G’s review of “The Wrestler” on Buntology.com.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-6DM6iWKKo

Slammys are back!

The “Slammy Awards” are the perfect answer to monotonous wrestling programming, as instead of seeing the same match-ups in the ring week after week, wrestling fans are treated to a mock-awards show that features wrestling personalities presenting and receiving awards in-character.  The Slammy Awards returned on Monday Night Raw and it was the first time an award of the type was given in eleven years.

The Slammy Awards show was presented in a comparable format to the Academy Awards or Grammys, with nominees and promo-videos before each award.  All were dressed in formal wear, or as formal as their characters would allow.  The entertaining difference, however, is that ‘heel,’ or “bad-guy” personalities cut promos to act as if it was a life-changing moment, or entertain the crowd.  For example, after being greeted by jeering and booing from the crowd, John Morrison thanked Chuck Norris for inspiration for winning the Slammy Award for “tag-team of the 21st century.”

.

Other Slammy awards included Match of the Year, which went to Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair, who faced off in the fifty-nine-year-old Flair’s emotional last match at WrestleMania 24, and Superstar of the Year, which went to Chris Jericho.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekYImI5rwtY

There were matches in between awards, with John Morrison facing old rival and current World Tag Team Champion CM Punk in the first match, and the final match being a rare “champion versus champion” confrontation between John Cena and Edge, the respective world champions of Raw and Smackdown.  Both stars had won their championships only a night before, at the twenty-second annual Survivor Series event in Boston.  The match ended in disqualification due to interference, which was probably booked to make both world champions look strong as equals.

It was great to see the Slammy Awards make a return since they last occurred in 1997, but wrestling fans must always remember the late Owen Hart, the two-time Slammy Award-winner who died in the ring in a horrific accident during a pay-per-view in 1999.  In 1997, Hart walked away with two awards and it became a long-running comedy-heel angle, where he always reminded fans that he was a two-time Slammy winner.

Hart actually never won a single award, however.  Shawn Michaels won the “Squared Circle Shocker” award for collapsing in the ring, but Owen accepted the award for “making him collapse.”  For the “Best Bow-Tie” award, there was no winner, so Owen stole the award, beginning a classic comedic angle.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOSDvpfzPFs

John Cena & Edge, WWE's new world champions after Survivor Series 2008

BOSTON:  November 23, 2008 was a big night for Boston sports-entertainment fans.  World Wrestling Entertainment made its pay-per-view event return to the TD Banknorth Garden with their twenty-second annual Survivor Series extravaganza.  The night marked two other returns, with former world champions Edge and John Cena both returning to in-ring competition.  Both Edge and Cena left the Garden with gold around their waste.

The main event of the evening featured Boston native John Cena making his in-ring return after months of injury to challenge World Heavyweight Champion Chris Jericho.  After a dramatic pause between entrances, the crowd erupted to see their hometown hero make his return.  After twenty-one intense minutes of action, the former three-time WWE Champion captured his his first World Heavyweight Championship reign; his fourth world championship in WWE.

This was not the only surprise of the evening, as former five-time world champion Edge began his sixth title reign by capturing the WWE Championship from Triple H.  The match was scheduled to be a triple-threat match between champion Triple H, Vladmir “The Russian Mauler” Kozlov, and the high-flyer Jeff Hardy.  Earlier in the evening WWE.com ran an angle to explain that Hardy had been “attacked” and would not compete.

The triple-threat match went on, but the mystery competitor was not announced until the match had been underway for about twelve minutes.  Towards the end of the match, Smackdown General Manager Vickie Guerrero announced Edge as the third competitor, and the “Ultimate Opportunist” captured his third WWE Championship, making him a six-time world champion in WWE.

Other matches included three five-on-five elimination style tag-team matches—a Survivor Series tradition, and a ‘casket match’ between The Big Show and the Undertaker.  There were no other matches for championship belts.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AFx5ArSaQI

I'm OK with Punk losing if it means we'll see Punk vs Jericho...which we will!

Last night, I said that Jericho’s World Championship win would get viewers to tune into Raw.  While I cannot say for now if this is true, as it is a bit soon to check for ratings information, I can say that at least one person tuned into Raw for once:  Me.

While I missed the beginning of Raw, I did catch Adamle’s awkward-sounding announcements for the main events of Raw for tonight and next week.  I probably missed a great introduction promo by Chris Jericho, but I have been entertained with nearly everything I have seen since the beginning moments.

I was surprised to see that they are continuing the Jamie Noble/Layla angle, because I tend to roll my eyes whenever I see it.  However, every time I do see it, it ends up being quite entertaining.  Regal picked up the win over Noble and I am curious to see where they will go from here.

Another very interesting moment was JBL versus CHL, or Charlie Haas Layfield, Charlie Haas’s latest WWE Superstar impression, making his entrance at the same time as JBL—locked in the trunk of Layfield’s limo.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9du8y0J4LWE

The disappointment here was the lack of an actual match, (JBL walked out) but this was forgiven by Haas’s goofy smiles during the pre-match promo, grinning and holding up bottles of JBL’s energy juice.  His post-match celebration was even better, as it was reminiscent of Kurt Angle’s excessive celebrations.

The next extremely bright spot of the night was the tag team match between ECW’s Miz/Morrison duo, and the Raw/ECW combination of Rey Mysterio and Evan Bourne.  I admit I am a big fan of John Morrison, so it was disappointing to see him lose yet another match.  However, these four men put on an excellent match with plenty of exciting high-risk spots.

As usual, the highlight of the match was Bourne’s textbook Shooting Star Press.  This ending was ruined by Kane announcing a match versus Rey next week on Raw on the video screen.

The following segment involved tag champs Dibiase and Rhodes, Randy Orton, and Manu (son of WWE Hall of Famer Afa).  Orton began talking about how he took out Punk at Unforgiven, and the tag champs interrupted.  After Rhodes, Dibiase, and Manu attempted to verbally put Orton in his place, Orton slapped Dibiase, in another mark-out moment.

I’m not sure if Orton is being turned face, or is “out-heeling the heels.”  Whatever they are doing, it sure is entertaining.

Following this promo, the three stayed in the ring to face Cryme Tyme and Kofi Kingston in a match that didn’t impress me too much.  Manu seems rather out of place in this group.

According to the Honk-a-meter, Santino Marella is 19 times better than the The Mountie (Jacques Rougeau).  Santino faced Snitsky in a completely forgettable match (like most of Snitsky’s matches) and Santino stole the quick win with a roll-up.

These quick, pointless matches do little for the product other than make the show drag on for longer than it should.  However, Santino is a heel who is impossible to boo, because he is just too entertaining in his promos.

After the commercial, Jericho and Lance Cade made their way to the ring for the main event.  Jericho is still nursing his injuries from the previous night, so a swerve or a heel-favoring tactic was expected.  Sure enough, Adamle interrupted the match and said he misdiagnosed Jericho’s condition, and in an effort to make the match more competitive and even, he announced that the match would change to a handicap match with Jericho’s partner being JBL.

Jericho had a gigantic grin on his face as Raw went to commercial.  Jericho stole the win in this match after interference from Lance Cade and a Clothesline from Hell from JBL.

Once again, Raw is Jericho.  Jericho pulls off the ultimate heel persona yet again, stealing a win and running away.  It’s a bit disappointing, however, that Batista fought off attacks from JBL and Cade after the match.  Jericho stood at the entrance ramp, with a smirk on his face.

Chris Jericho has come to save the WWE and help boost its ratings, and I feel confident in making the prediction that ratings will increase next week when Jericho defends his newly won championship against the previous champion, CM Punk, in a steel cage.

It’s also worth noting that CM Punk was not even backstage at Raw this week.  He was told to stay home to sell his kayfabe injuries.  This will actually help the ratings more than hurt it, because the fans will want to see if an injured Punk can overcome the odds yet again and reclaim his championship.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R60AFKWRSLo

One thing is for sure, though: Punk vs Jericho in a cage is bound to be an excellent match, assuming there is no botched finish.

This article was previously published on BleacherReport.com.

I half-assed this article, so I'm half-assing my image selection, too. So sue me!

A mere three hours ago, I posted a quick write-up regarding tonight’s Unforgiven show and my predictions for the card.  I did not get this pay-per-view, nor could I find a working stream in order to watch it.  Therefore, I have decided to give a quick recap of results and my thoughts on the near future of WWE programming.

Career: 6/8: .750

The first match of Unforgiven 2008 was the ECW Championship Scramble.  Matt Hardy emerged victorious as the new champion after pinning The Miz in Miz’s own hometown.  I would expect the Hardy/Henry feud to continue, or maybe (but doubtful) a Team Extreme vs Miz/Morrison feud if Jeff wins the WWE Championship.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1mn0CvGWwA

My Pick: Mark Henry
Winner: Matt Hardy—NEW ECW World Champion
Unforgiven 2008 Batting Average: 0/1: .000
Career: 6/9: .667

Cody Rhodes and Ted Dibiase retained their tag team belts in the second match of the evening, keeping my prediction average at a solid zero.

My Pick: Cryme Tyme
Winner: Rhodes/Dibiase
Unforgiven 2008 Batting Average: 0/2: .000
Career: 6/10: .600

The next match of the night was between Michaels and Jericho, which Shawn won by submission.  Even though I guessed this one correctly, I think the feud will continue (sadly).  The good news, however, is that Kevin Nash is rumored to be interested in “jumping ship,” and I would not at all be surprised to see him brought in as a counter to Lance Cade.

My Pick: Shawn Michaels
Winner: Shawn Michaels
Unforgiven 2008 Batting Average: 1/3: .333
Career: 7/11: .636

The fourth match was the scramble match for the WWE Championship.  Triple H pins MVP to retain the title.  I suppose this is the most logical choice for whom would take the fall, as Hardy is insanely over, and Shelton holds a major title.

Kendrick has been made to look like a super-heel as of late, so they want to make him look strong as well.  Triple H and Hardy both got pins simultaneously so Hardy looks very strong here, and it could possibly continue their feud (assuming they are actually in one).  I would love to see Triple H turn heel and use this against Hardy.  I can’t really understand why this wasn’t “the” main event.

My Pick: Triple H
Winner: Triple H
Unforgiven 2008 Batting Average: 2/4: .500
Career: 8/12: .667

In the “buffer” match between the two main events, Michelle McCool retained her Divas title.

My Pick: Michelle McCool
Winner: Michelle McCool
Unforgiven 2008 Batting Average: 3/5: .600
Career: 9/13: .692

The main event of the evening was the championship scramble match for Raw’s top belt, the World Heavyweight Championship, held by CM Punk.  Prior to the Divas match, Punk was knocked out backstage. Bullshit.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGOzH5R4NO8

I am writing this while reading live coverage of the event, and it looks like they are really trying to come up with some interesting angles here.  With Punk out of the picture, we know there will be a new champion tonight.  Before the match, the Big Show comes to the ring to ask to be his replacement in the match.

Here’s where it gets confusing: Big Show is a Smackdown wrestler, yet is asking to be let into the Raw main event.  Vickie Guerrero hits the ring, Undertaker hits the video screen, and a casket is brough to the ring.  Undertaker tells Vickie to get into the casket, and Big Show agrees, laughing.  Call me crazy, but isn’t this—as usual—in bad taste?

I mean, I know it has been a while since Eddie (Guerrero) has died, but telling his widow to get into a casket probably isn’t the most respectful angle possibility.

Unless… It’s a setup! Big Show turns on the Undertaker and I’m not really sure what this has to do with Raw’s main event, as that question is still unanswered.  However, Randy Orton is in the building…

The said question remains unanswered, possibly until the final entrance of the match for dramatic effect.  Will it be Punk?  Will it be Orton?  My prediction is so far true, surprisingly, as Kane gets the first three-count of the match.  CHRIS JERICHO turns out to be the answer, as he makes his way to the ring for his second high-profile match of the night.

I really wish I could change my prediction, but to be fair, I am sticking with Kane, still.

In the mark-out moment of the night, Chris Jericho steals the World Heavyweight Championship.  Finally, we are saved.

The question is, is Kane a two-time champion?  The other question is, where does WWE go from here?

Unfortunately, the HBK/Jericho feud is not over, and it doesn’t need the Raw brand’s World Heavyweight title in order to be over with the crowd.  Or, in my case, not even the World Heavyweight strap can make me care about it, due to my lack of interest in Shawn Michaels.

Punk will probably want revenge, which will set up a feud versus Randy Orton.  Basically, I have no idea what will happen with the rest of the wrestlers involved, which is a good sign because it will get people to watch Raw tomorrow.

My Pick: Kane
Winner: CHRIS JERICHO!
Unforgiven 2008 Batting Average: 3/6: .500
Career: 9/14: .643

This article was previously published on BleacherReport.com.

WWE Unforgiven 2008

It’s time, once again, for a WWE Pay-Per-View.  This month’s show is “Unforgiven.”  The card will feature five title matches and a non-title match.  Three of the matches are guaranteed to be 20 minutes long, which could be a great thing, or a terrible thing.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OX_loyzPB8Q

For starters, here is where I stand on my predictions:

Career: 6/8: .750

Not too shabby, because even though wrestling is a scripted sport, you can’t always assume they are going to pick the most ‘logical’ choice.  Everyone gets a swerve, once in a while.

The first match on the card will most likely be the ECW Championship Scramble match.  While my match orders will not have anything to do with my ‘batting average,’ it’s still an interesting prediction to make.  None of the scramble matches will be back-to-back, and with half of the card consisting of scramble matches, there aren’t too many options for match order.

Expect Mark Henry to retain his title here.  I don’t think Matt Hardy winning would do anything for their feud, and it would seem like an odd point in time to end it, considering their lack of a real match at SummerSlam.  Henry has been booked very strongly lately so one might think it’s time for an underdog to rise up, but I don’t think the timing is right.  I can’t see any logical reasons for Chavo, Miz, or Finlay to win here.  If Miz did win, however, I would love to see a Morrison vs Miz feud.  John could turn on Miz, turning Miz face.  I’m not so sure I could see Miz as a champion, however, after Henry worked so hard to give the belt some prestige.  My pick: Mark Henry.

The next match on the card will be the tag team title match.  Despite the terrible title drop to and from Cena and Batista, Rhodes and Dibiase have held the belts for a while.  To my knowledge, Cryme Tyme has never held the tag team titles, and are incredibly over.  Based on this alone, my pick is: Cryme Tyme; new Tag Team Champions.

The next match is likely to be the World Heavyweight Championship scramble match.  Twenty minutes of Kane and Batista–a damn good reason to save your money this month.  While I love the scramble idea, I hate the combination here.  Expect this match to be in the midcard because Punk is a midcarder holding a main event title, and Raw is the B brand.  Even though Batista and Rey are always over, I just can’t see this being placed higher on the card than HBK/Jericho or the Smackdown scramble.  Also, I just can’t get into this match, despite being a fan of CM Punk.

I am going to go out on a limb here and pick Kane to be the winner of this match.  Kane has been boring me for the past few years but he does deserve a legitimate title reign, considering it has been over 10 years since his one-day WWE Championship reign (King of the Ring 1998).  Insiders say that Punk is due to drop the title and be re-pushed in order to be built back up to be a legitimate contender and champion.  My pick: Kane.

HBK/Jericho could be next, possibly.  Michaels bores me more than Batista and Kane combined, so I am unable to hold an interest in this feud.  My pick: Shawn Michaels (I think this might be the blow-off match).

The next match will be the Divas Championship match between Michelle McCool and Maryse.  I have not followed this feud at all, but McCool has not held the title for that long so I believe she will hold onto it for a bit longer.  My pick: Michelle McCool.

Despite being full of mid-carders, the Smackdown scramble will be the main event.  I have to say I love this lineup of Triple H defending against Jeff Hardy, United States Champion Shelton Benjamin, MVP, and The Brian Kendrick.  If Kendrick somehow wins this match, Internet fans around the world will truly ‘mark out,’ but I don’t think it will happen.  Kendrick is getting a great push, a great gimmick, and delivers in all of his matches, but it is far too soon.  I cannot see MVP as a main eventer, YET.  This leaves us with Triple H, Jeff Hardy, and Shelton Benjamin.  First of all, I am happy to see that Shelton is in the main event, but I am also surprised because he wasn’t even on the SummerSlam card.  He will NOT win this match because I don’t think WWE would put TWO major championships around his waste.

Triple H points at the mountain Jeff Hardy has to climb before getting put over by the Game.

It feels like a bit of a coin flip here, but I think Triple H will retain.  I will be pleasantly surprised if Jeff Hardy wins, but I won’t like the fact that Triple H dropped the title as a face.  But, WWE has been doing the face vs face garbage for a year or so now, so it’s expected.  Face vs face is great in moderation, but it seems like nearly all of the feuds are face vs face.  Triple H usually is such a major heel but a terrible face that he alone is probably what is making the scales unbalanced, so to speak.

Then again, Jeff Hardy could win this, to overcome H’s “three strikes and it’s game over” line.  Either way, this will be an awesome match.  I just hope Levescmahon won’t bury these guys.  My pick: Triple H

Another month, another pay-per-view, and another set of predictions.  Be sure to check back in a few days for the results.

This article was previously published on BleacherReport.com.

SummerSlam 2008

The first match on the SummerSlam 2008 card was Jeff Hardy versus Montel Vontavious Porter: two United States Championship contenders in a match at a “big four” pay-per-view event with the actual champion left off of the card.  Supposedly the original plan was to have a title match between Shelton and Kennedy, but with Kennedy becoming injured they decided to change the match to Hardy vs MVP.  Apparently a Triple Threat was out of the question.

The show begins with a shot at the entrance from the nosebleed sections in the arena.  Ross comments that this was Hardy’s first SummerSlam in seven years.  MVP wins this after a “Drive-by Kick” and interference from Shelton Benjamin, which was rather unnecessary, but at least they involved the US Champion somehow.  This match really did nothing for me.  **

My Pick: Jeff Hardy
Winner: MVP
SummerSlam Batting Average: 0/1: .000
Career: 0/1: .000

After the replays, Maria interviews “Glammerella” backstage.  Santino says his unibrow drives the Glamazon crazy.  This match will be great.  Mickie and Kofi come out first, separately.  I can’t for the life of me understand why Kofi Kingston gets both the Intercontinental Championship and an entrance with pyrotechnics yet he is not given any promo opportunities.  Granted I am not able (or willing) to see every single episode of Raw, I have yet to hear word of him doing any promos.

Santino and Beth come out together, as expected.  It’s impossible to look at Santino without laughing–his uni-brow looks ridiculous.  James/Phoenix start the match with some good displays of power vs speed/athleticism, and soon Marella and Kingston are tagged in for their SummerSlam debuts.  Kingston’s first act is a perfect springboard flying cross body block.  Santino continues the heel comedy throughout he entire match, getting manhandled by Mickie James, and jumping into Phoenix’s arms to avoid a aerial attack fake by Kingston.  Beth wins the match with the Glam Slam, capturing a second Womens’ Title run for herself, and a second Intercontinental Title run for her partner, Santino Marella.  Santino gives a celebration performance reminiscent of Kurt Angle, falling to his knees with joy despite winning the match while knocked out on the floor.  He leaves the ring sitting on Beth’s shoulders, raising both belts high.  Classic.
“I did it all by myself.  All by myself.” -Santino
“I missed you.  I missed you.” -Santino to Intercontinental belt

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRXFJrW2VQ0

Again, classic.  The match itself deserves *** 1/2, but Santino bumps it up to **** for his added comedy work.

My Pick: Glammerella
Winner: Glammerella
SummerSlam Batting Average: 1/2: .500
Career: 1/2: .500

Well, I'm interested in this feud now.

Shawn Michaels comes out to the ring with his wife, Rebecca, to announce his retirement.  I’d say I’m excited to see him on my TV less for a change, but a Jericho run-in is completely telegraphed.  The camera cuts to various fans in the crowd with tears in their eyes, and while I’m glad that people still buy the angles, I’m also embarrassed that there are fans that thought he was actually retiring and that this angle would not continue.  Will he retire soon?  I hope so, but not without one more match, at the very least.  My assumptions are correct, as Jericho comes out and cuts one hell of a heel promo, as usual.  Jericho takes a cheap shot at Michaels, who ducks.  Jericho’s fist connects with Rebecca and it looks more realistic than most punches done in matches.  Jericho sneaks out of the ring.  HBK looks furious and it looks like we’ll get that blow-off match I correctly predicted.  I’m including this in my averages because like  a regular match there were two main outcomes: retire or continue feud.

After a little while, Rebecca sits up, stands up, and gets a decent pop from the crowd.  Her lip is SWOLLEN.  This was done really well; I’m not sure how they did it, as I doubt anyone would approve of an angle where Rebecca REALLY gets punched in the mouth. *****

My Pick: Feud Continues
Winner: Feud Continues
SummerSlam Batting Average: 2/3: .667
Career: 2/3: .500

We see an ad for Street Kings on DVD, because apparently the pay-per-view doesn’t cost enough for viewers to see it commercial-free.  I suppose I can’t complain since I’m seeing it cost-free.  Matt Striker and Josh Matthews are announcing (YES!) and it’s time for Mark Henry versus Matt Hardy.

As Hardy makes his entrance, both Striker and Matthews do a great job putting over the ECW title, saying that this is the biggest night of Hardy’s career because he has yet to win a ‘major heavyweight title.’  Mark Henry comes out with the world’s largest grin on his face, expecting the match to be a walk in the park.  Striker adds suspense to the match, pointing out that it would be virtually impossible for Hardy to use either of his finishers against Henry.  Tony Chimmel waits to announce the competitors to both be in the ring and it gives it an important, main event feel.  I get the idea that WWE is giving the ECW brand and title importance finally.

Or so I thought.  Surprisingly, Matt Hardy almost immediately nails the Twist of Fate on Mark Henry, completely contradicting what Striker said earlier.  Hardy goes for the cover.  One, two, Atlas pulls Hardy out of the ring.  DISQUALIFICATION.  Not only is Henry disqualified for a terrible reason, but Jeff Hardy runs to ringside to help Matt take care of Henry.  While it takes two of them to suplex Henry, it still would have been better to have Henry get the best of both of them.  The only thing that saves this is that the angle will continue.  It will probably end at Unforgiven, with Hardy winning the ECW title.  This was bad, almost as bad as Kane vs Chavo.  Normally I’d expect a terrible match from Mark Henry, but given how good this angle has been, this was an unfortunate and unexpected result.  I’m not taking credit for guessing this correctly.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1u7DY29Yxbk

Rating:  .  No, those are not invisible stars.  This match was just not worthy of a rating. And it’s NOT MARK HENRY’S FAULT.

My Pick: Mark Henry retains in a show-stealing match
Winner: Mark Henry retains in an shockingly terrible match
SummerSlam Batting Average: 2/4: .500
Career: 2/4: .500

On the bright side, we may now see Henry team with either Shelton or MVP to take on the Hardys on either ECW or Smackdown.  Everyone loves a Hardy reunion.  An ad is aired to showcase the SummerSlam anthology set, to remind us of the days when SummerSlam was AMAZING.  Punk vs JBL is up next.

Phew! Still the champ.

Again, in order to make it feel like we are seeing a major main event match, the competitor announcements are not given until both JBL and Punk are in the ring.  JBL has the upper hand for most of the match, but Punk manages to land a suicide dive and a flying cross bodyblock.  JBL connects a fallaway slam from the second rope.

Punk is still being booked as an underdog, which is disappointing, but this match was still impressive.  Punk goes for a springboard lariat, which JBL reverses into a powerslam.  JBL was also on the receiving end of reversed maneuvers, as Punk nailed a side heel kick on JBL as he was trying to connect a Clothesline from Hell.  Punk reverses another clothesline attempt into a Go 2 Sleep and retains the title in a solid, clean victory on a major event. ***1/2

My Pick: Punk
Winner: Punk
SummerSlam Batting Average: 3/5: .600
Career: 3/5: .600

The WWE Championship match is up next, and hopefully Triple H can carry the Great Khali to a rating-worthy match.  Triple H tries for the Pedigree early on but is unsuccessful.  Khali nails a double-handed choke slam and applies the Vice Grip.  You can’t expect a lot from Khali as he has never displayed a great deal of ability, but he can’t really be expected to, as his primary function is to serve as a slow, powerful big-man type of wrestler.  Triple H does a good job selling and making Khali look strong.  Khali gets a ‘you can’t wrestle’ chant, but on the contrary he does a fairly acceptable job of doing what he is supposed to do.

Triple H hacks away at Khali like he is trying to chop down a tree, Khali poorly takes a facebuster, and gets tangled up in the ropes.  Nothing worthwhile happens here, though, as Khali reverses an attempted attack with a big boot.  Triple H again tries to mount an offense but Khali backdrops the Game over the top rope to the outside of the ring.  Triple H tries to connect a clothesline or diving attack from the ring apron to the floor, but Khali hits him with a stiff clothesline from the floor.  He’s that tall.  Shortly after, Triple H somehow lands a Pedigree and gets the win.  This match had a decent Hogan/Andre feel to it but I don’t dare compare Khali with Andre.  Besides, it lacked a moment comparable to that epic body slam heard around the world, brother.  This wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected it to be.  ***

My Pick: Triple H
Winner: Triple H
SummerSlam Batting Average: 4/6: .667
Career: 4/6: .667

Like it or not, this is a 'big-money' pairing and a dream match for many.

Let the “You Can’t Wrestle” chants continue; Cena vs Batista is up next.  The match is full of reversals and finisher teases.  Batista pulls out a few Ric Flair moves–a chop block and a figure four leglock–but Cena keeps on fighting.  Cena applies an incredibly sloppy looking STFU and Batista makes it to the ropes.  Cena pulls him back to the center of the ring and reapplies it, but Batista breaks the hold.  Cena then attempts an FU, which is reversed into a rear-naked choke with a body scissor.  I don’t think I’ve seen that transition before.  Cena does not submit and the two make it to their feet.  Batista spears Cena for a two count.  He then lifts up Cena onto his shoulder as if he was going to give him a backbreaker, but Cena slides off, reverses into an inverted DDT position, and powers through into an FU.  Wow.  Say what you want about Cena, but that man is strong, and while he may have a terrible finisher, he has come up with some extremely unique reversals for it.  Cena is slow to cover and only gets a two.  The crowd is hot after that reversal, and it should be.

Cena climbs the top rope, but Batista cuts him off.  The two go back and forth with punches, and the crowd responds with “boo” and “yeah” for each exchange.  For some reason, Cena gets boos, still, yet Batista gets a pop.  Cena wins the exchanges and Batista falls back onto the mat like dead weight.  Cena waits for Batista to stand and attempts some sort of sloppy-looking attack.  I don’t even know what he was trying to do.  It looked like he wanted to do a head-scissors or a Rey Mysterio style maneuver.  Michael Cole said he went for a leg drop, but it didn’t look anything like a leg drop.  It doesn’t really matter, because Batista reversed it into a Batista Bomb (I guess).  Two count, and the crowd is into it.

Batista Bomb, one, two, three.  It’s not Rock-Austin–not even close–but it was exciting and way better than expected.  ****

My Pick: No winner, Batista turns heel
Winner: Batista, no one turns heel
SummerSlam Batting Average: 4/7: .571
Career: 4/7: .571

The blowoff match for the Edge/Undertaker feud is up next and it should be a good one. The cell is lowered, and Chimmel announces that this match will be “Hell in a Cell,” and the crowd says it with him.  Edge makes his way to the ring, with a twisted/determined look on his face.  There is a long dramatic pause as Edge anxiously awaits the entrance of the Dead Man.  The deep, bellowing bell sounds as the Undertaker’s music plays.  The crowd gives him a big pop but not as big as I expected, and it makes me wonder if a lot of people are being converted into Edge fans.

This match is already quite creative.  Undertaker brings the ring steps into the ring and props them in the corner.  He then drops Edge on them with the Snake Eyes maneuver.  Edge reverses an Irish whip into the steps and then spears the Undertaker into them, who was sitting in an upright position in front of the steps.  Edge then sets up two tables stacked outside the ring and attempts a suplex, but is blocked.  Undertaker attempts a Choke Slam but his attempt is blocked, also.  Obviously these tables will come into play later.

"How do you learn to fall off a 20-foot ladder..."

After working ‘Taker over with a chair, Edge pulls two ladders out from under the ring.  It’s starting to look like “TLC in a Cell.”  This is a great way to really put Edge in his element and make this match unique when compared to the previous Hell in a Cell matches.  Edge sets up the Undertaker on a table and climbs the ladder with a chair in hand.  He says “I understand,” and jumps off the ladder, recreating the same attack he made on Mick Foley on Smackdown a few weeks ago.  A ‘this is awesome’ chant would be great here but the crowd seems to be more behind the Undertaker.  Edge set Undertaker up for a Conchairto, but Undertaker sat up and grabbed Edge’s throat for a Choke Slam, which was blocked.

The action is taken to ringside within the cell, and Edge has the Undertaker staggered up against the cell wall.  Edge runs and jumps off of the ring steps and plows through both the Undertaker and the cell wall with a flying shoulder block.  I repeat, a ‘this is awesome’ chant would be completely warranted.  Edge spears the Undertaker from the Raw announce table into and through the ECW announce table.  It’s hard to believe that ten years ago, Edge was starting his WWE career, AND, ten years ago, Undertaker was making this same match type famous.  The fight goes back into the ring.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3JQbWkaBl4A

Edge nails the Dead Man with a ladder and a television camera, but can not get the three count.  He goes for a Spear but runs right into a Choke Slam.  Two count, and a Last Ride attempt is thwarted by a low blow, which is fully legal in a Hell in a Cell match.  Edge hits an Impaler, which I can’t recall seeing in a while.  After kicking out, Undertaker tries for a Last Ride towards the two tables outside the ring, but Edge slides off and hits another Spear for a two count.  Edge pummels Undertaker in the corner and Undertaker lifts him into a Last Ride for yet another two count.  He then tries a Tombstone Piledriver onto the ring steps but it is reversed by Edge!  I may need a new keyboard.  I will most likely wear out my asterisk key when the time comes to give this match a star rating.

Just when I thought this match couldn’t get any better, Edge attempts an Old School, but is blocked.  Undertaker Choke Slams Edge off the top rope, to the outside of the ring, through the two stacked tables.  He rolls Edge back into the ring and SPEARS HIM.  He sets Edge up for a Conchairto, and hits it.  Tombstone Piledriver, rest in peace.  This was possibly the best match I’ve seen in the past year, if not the past five years.  *****

My Pick: Undertaker
Winner: Undertaker
SummerSlam Batting Average: 6/8: .750
Career: 6/8: .750

Just when I thought it was over, Undertaker stops at the entrance and turns around.  He power-walks back to the ring and sets up a ladder.  He picks up Edge for a Last Ride, but instead of dropping him, he throws him over his head so that he will land on the ladder.  He sets up another ladder, climbs it, and has all the space he needs to deliver one hell of a Choke Slam–through the ring.  The hole in the ring then bursts into flames, and Ross says that Edge was sent ‘straight to hell.’  I think they overdid it a little bit here, but it was still great.

SummerSlam was pretty good this year. Nearly all of the matches delivered, and the number of disappointments were fairly minimal.  The main event cancelled out any prior disappointments, anyway.  I doubt a single person in the arena was thinking about Mark Henry while the Undertaker was delivering Spears and Conchairtos to Edge.  ****

This article was previously published on BleacherReport.com.

In August, wrestling fans know they can look forward to one thing: the 21st annual extravaganza, SummerSlam.

SummerSlam 2008 is right around the corner.

This year’s SummerSlam has a pretty stacked card, and here are my predictions.

While it’s rather unlikely to predict the exact order in which the matches will take place, it’s safe to assume that the most likely opener is Mark Henry versus Matt Hardy for the ECW championship.  Surprisingly, the world’s strongest champion has been giving us a reason to watch ECW week after week ever since winning the title from Kane.  With the addition of Tony Atlas the program the two have been working with Matt Hardy has made for great TV.  I’ve always hated Mark Henry but surprisingly I hope he retains the title.  I think that he will because Matt Hardy does not need a title in order to be over.  Mark Henry, on the other hand, does.  It’s near impossible to care about Mark Henry, unless he has a title around his waist.  It’s also way too soon for him to drop the belt.  My pick: Mark Henry. To see how Matt Hardy earned the title shot, check out the clip at the end of this post.

I think that the winner take all tag team match for the Intercontinental and Women’s titles will take place next.  This is another angle that has been truly entertaining.  I expect Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella to walk away with the win because Kofi Kingston and Mickey James have both held their respective titles for long enough and the power couple of Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella will make for more great television.  Santino is also far more entertaining than Kofi given the fact that Kofi has yet to even cut a single promo.  My pick: Beth Phoenix and Santino Marella.

The next match will most likely be the World Heavyweight Championship match between CM Punk and John Bradshaw Layfield.  Even though Punk is the World Heavyweight Champion I don’t think that they will elevate him to main event status on a major pay per view when there are so many other options for main events.  I do not think it would be a wise decision to give the belt to John Bradshaw Layfield at this moment because they are still in the process of building up Punk as a champion and they need to give it more time.  I also honestly really do not want to see JBL is the champion right now.  My pick: CM Punk

The next match will most likely be Montell Vontavious Porter versus Jeff Hardy.  When I first looked at this card I thought this was a United States title match but I realized that MVP dropped the title to Shelton Benjamin on Smackdown some time ago.  I don’t understand how the two on the card here can have a match yet the champion is left off of the card.  Shelton Benjamin is a great asset and should be included on the pay per view, especially considering that he is the United States Champion.  Assuming that no further developments occur on smack down tonight, I pick Jeff Hardy to win this match.

Shawn Michaels, the cross-bearing cross-eyed bear.

The somewhere in this card we will have a Shawn Michaels announcement.  Despite a lot of people on the Internet claiming that Shawn Michaels and Jericho feud is the hottest thing on Raw right now, I couldn’t care less, because frankly I am sick of the Heartbreak Kid.  Many will probably be expecting Shawn Michaels to announce retirement but I get the feeling we’re in for a swerve and he instead will be announcing that he will be challenging Jericho to some sort of dangerous match an upcoming pay per view.  Hopefully this turns into a feud with CM Punk for the world title because I think both Punk and Jericho should be in the title running they are believable sizes as opponents that would not make Punk look it’s look like such an underdog.  A week or two ago on Raw, Jericho demanded a title shot against CM Punk so it one might expect that they are planning to go back to that.  If Shawn Michaels does decide to “retire,” I will honestly be happy because I will not see him on my TV for a least a few months.

WWE Champion Triple H will be taking on The Great Khali for the title.  There’s no real reason for Khali to win the title here because I don’t feel this is a major angle.  Khali is just another big man wrestler being fed to Triple H to make him appear to be superhuman, similar to how John Tenta was fed to Hulk Hogan and Umaga or Khali himself were each fed to John Cena.  Hopefully Triple H can carry Khali to a decent match but it’s not likely.  My pick: Triple H.

The match will take place right before the main event is John Cena versus Batista.  Even though this is not a match for a world title it’s being pushed as a major high profile main event match.  I’m not a big fan of this idea because I think this should have been saved for WrestleMania, and for a world title.  However, both Cena and Batista are so extremely over, that they don’t need to be holding titles to be a draw.  As much as I hate to admit it, I think this will be an excellent match, even though the angle leading up to this has been rather disappointing.  I do not think fit WWE we will risk damaging the overness of either star so expect a double disqualification, a count out, or a time limit end.  My pick: no winner, and Batista turns heel

The main event will be Edge versus Undertaker in a Hell in a cell match.  This is another match that doesn’t require a title to draw.  In fact, the gimmick of Hell in a Cell alone will be enough to make this an exciting match.  This is the big blowoff match for the Edge and Undertaker feud and will steal the show, as expected.  Since Edge won the tables, ladders, and chairs match at One Night Stand 2008, it’s expected that it’s the Undertaker’s turn to steal the show, win the match, and finally end this great feud.  My pick: The Undertaker.

In conclusion, SummerSlam 2008 has a pretty stacked card and will most likely be an excellent show.

This article was previously published on BleacherReport.com.

One talent released is Stevie Richards, an “ECW Original” who has been reduced to a jobber status on the ECW brand and hasn’t been given any important angles.  It’s not a complete surprise that he was released, but it’s unfortunate that the only names linked to ECW whom are still present are Tommy Dreamer and Tazz.

Two of the other stars released are The Highlanders.  This is not really surprising, as WWE has not efficiently booked a tag team division worth caring about in a few years.  Since Robbie McAllister was seen on TNA’s Impact! show in the audience, it’s also not surprising that he has been released, given how angry Vince McMahon was about that situation (he was given WrestleMania weekend “off,” which was the equivalent to a $5,000 paycheck.)

Smackdown diva Cherry was released and this isn’t a big surprise given how big the Diva division already is, and how little she has really been used.

WWE Referee Wes Adams was also released.  Again, this is not a surprise, as WWE has been downsizing their roster and has already let go Nick Patrick.  It is apparent that they are trying to trim down any unnecessary spots.  They may have had more referees than they really needed.

Wrestling legend Killer Kowalski recently suffered a severe heart attack and is in serious condition.  The 81-year-old Canadian wrestling legend is a former WWWF Tag Team Champion (with Big John Studd) and trained future WWE star Triple H.

Another legend, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, is said to be in poor condition these days as well.  Heenan has had reconstructive jaw surgeries in the recuperation process of beating throat cancer.  After being slowly brought out of a medically induced coma, he is having difficulty recognizing the people around him.  One source claims that Heenan’s health is deteriorating and he may not last a month.  Hopefully that source is an exaggerated rumor.

This article was previously published on BleacherReport.com.

ECW
August 12, 2008
Norfolk, Virginia

The show starts off with Matt Striker on color commentary, which is a great idea.  Striker is a solid heel and has remarkable promo skills, and it is a great idea to put him in the commentary slot to complement the rather bland Todd Grisham.  (Give him time.)  WWE needs a solid heel/face commentary team like the good old days of Ross and Lawler.  Since Lawler is getting older and nearing the end of his career, Vince McMahon probaly wants him to go out as a fan favorite, but these days people cheer for whomever they want, good guy or not.  The heel/face combo adds extra entertainment value.

Tommy Dreamer comes out for the first match–an Extreme Rules Match–and Grisham puts him over as the person who most embodies ‘ECW.’  It’s good to see an Extreme Rules match; it’s a shred of a reference to the old ECW, which is long gone, but they should stop mentioning it.  Colin Delaney is Dreamer’s opponent, who comes out looking like he’s afraid of his task–fixing Tommy Dreamer’s computer, or something.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWrhDjCTScE

The match is pretty good; Dreamer tries to get the crowd into it with a running sliding dropkick into a trashcan into Delaney’s face.  Delaney gets on the offense once in a while, but every time he tries a second attack he fails, miserably.  It will be interesting to see how he progresses.  He’s like a lackluster Mikey Whipwreck, but there is plenty of room for improvement.  That’s for sure.  Dreamer gets the pin here in a rather predictable match.  **

Lena Yada interviews Miz/Morrison in the back.  They show a replay of last week’s ‘broadcast’ of The Dirt Sheet, which was excellent.  Miz/Morrison play the cocky, sneaky heel roles to a T, ready to run away when Mark Henry gets angry at them.
Morrison says, “We’re the Pineapple Express of the WWE, Baby.”

After the break, Evan Bourne takes on Bam Neely.  Bourne has great potential.  He would be great working a program with Rey Mysterio one day, as both have unmatched unorthodox styles with great innovations, agility, and athleticism.
Bourne wins with the…Shooting Star Press?  Apparently, the Shooting Star Press is no longer banned in WWE, and Bourne is possibly the perfect person to revive the maneuver.  Bourne wins with the “Air Bourne.”  ***

Up next, Estrada vs Finlay.  Finlay comes out with Hornswaggle, his squirt-gun shooting 3 feet tall ‘son.’  Step aside, Dreamer.  Hornswaggle embodies the NEW ECW.  I suppose we have to learn to accept this, though, with WWE wanting to reel in the younger audiences these days.  Mike Knox watches the match from the entrance ramp.  This match does not have much of a purpose other than to further the Knox/Finlay angle, which is actually interesting.  For some reason, Knox is a lot more acceptable in my eyes now that he has his ‘mountain-man’ beard.  For the most part, Finlay manhandles Estrada in Estrada’s first match after signing his ECW contract.  Despite Knox distracting Finlay, the Belfast Bruiser picks up an easy win after hitting his finisher TWICE.  ***

Ricky Ortiz tries to push a merchandising idea on ECW GM Teddy Long.  He tells him he will be facing a new wrestler next week.

Matt Hardy and Mark Henry talk backstage.  Henry tells Matt he wants him to get in his way.  They are doing an excellent job with the way they are booking Mark because he is booked as a true big man; a powerhouse.  I have never liked Mark Henry, but I am enjoying this whole angle.  The ECW title scene has, for the most part, been EXCELLENT, with the exceptions being Bobby Lashley and Vince McMahon.  Henry basically implies he could take on Miz, Morrison, and Matt Hardy.  This will be a great main event.

Henry comes out to the ring with a big, evil grin on his face, looking forward to demolishing his opponents.  Matt Hardy follows, and looks cautious.  Mark Henry starts the match and manhandles John Morrison.  He voluntarily brings the Miz in with a hip toss from the ring apron, just so he can take them both on at once.  Henry really should be put in handicap matches vs no-name jobbers rather than using ECW’s only tag team (and a former ECW champ) as a punching bag.  It’s not making them look so great, but it’s doing wonders for Mark.  A lot of credit is due to Morrison and Miz, because a big man can’t get over without someone taking a total beating and making it look realistic.

Matt Hardy gets some time in the ring, and this is when Miz and Morrison get some offense in, but not a lot.  Therefore, it makes them look a bit better rather than getting completely bulldozed.  Matt Hardy gets the win with the Side Effect off the 2nd rope, and Mark Henry looks FURIOUS.  He throws Miz and Morrison out of the ring and raises the ECW title in the air.  He raises Hardy’s hand and appears to care about him as he is visibly tired from the match, but it’s a completely obvious setup, as Henry slams Hardy on the ECW title.  This is a classic heel tactic and makes the SummerSlam match look even better.  ***1/2

Show: ***.

Pros:  Mark Henry
Cons:  Hornswaggle

This article was previously published on BleacherReport.com.

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